Friday, May 26, 2006

Prom Season Ahoy

1. "Pregnant? No way, I just ate that fat kid from McDonald's under the table."

2. The main reason Curtiss doesn't mind putting his life on the line for Jack Bauer... this is Mrs. Manning.

3. "Hey, Leroy, remember a few days ago when I got that alien face-grabber stuck to my head?"

4. The hazards of holding in your farts so as not to offend your prom date are illustrated here.

5. "Sex Education" is one of those classes where you really don't want to do the extra credit assignments.

6. "Who needs Lamaze, baby? Ain't it obvious I already know how to say 'Push, Push?'"

7. "No momma, it wasn't 'that Leroy' it was... um... the Duke Lacrosse Team. Yeah, that's it. Let's sue their white asses."

8. William Jefferson tries to win support from Barney Frank.

9. "Michael Jackson has already called dibs if it's a boy."

10. "I'm gonna name the baby 'Spawn of Satan' if it's a boy, and 'Hillary' if it's a girl."

This has apparently been shooting 'round the "internets" for some time, but I first saw it at Discarded Lies.

37 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

That Lordi guy was just seen running away screaming.

Submariner said...

Somehow I don't think white at the wedding is appropriate...

Submariner said...

At some point, even "Night of the Living Dead" zombies become full.

Submariner said...

SOTG's prom date comes downstairs, but is offended at his "grass green" leisure suit.

Sorry, SOTG, I don't know what demon possessed me. ;)

David Simon said...

"You told me you was the same size as me, Latitia. That's the last time you get to borrow one of my dresses." - Kevin Logan

David Simon said...

"Get in my belly!"

David Simon said...

"Uh ShaWanda, when you told me you had six pack abs, you didn't tell me it was from drinking too much Colt 45."

divine miss M said...

She needs a depilatory consultation from the guy in the pink!

Silhouette said...

A womb with a view.

jeff said...

Maternal pride reaches a new low.

This must not be her first - it looks like she had a zipper installed last time.

"Best thing about being pregnant? My boobs can now hold up this dress!"

Submariner said...

David Simon said...
"Get in my belly!"


Mkes me wonder if it'll be a "mini-me" for her?

Submariner said...

OBR:

I wish I coulda quit you sooner...

Submariner said...

Grandma slipped me the tongue. Grandpa on the other hand, slipped me his...

Submariner said...

And girls? One more thing; you CAN get pregnant in a hot tub. Don't screw there, either.

Submariner said...

V. Gotta check out this pic! http://www.guardian.co.uk/russia/article/0,,1783637,00.html

Michigan-Matt said...

Missing the point, she asked her mom "Do these shoes make me look fat?"

Michigan-Matt said...

"Fifty dollars Canadian and this is all the front desk could send up?"

David Simon said...

La Filmonia Washington laments at her inability to find a decent prom dress. "I arrived at the department store an hour after Johnny Weir had finished shopping."

David Simon said...

"Well, what did you expect for 50 cent?" If you want high class, try the Smelly Pirate Hooker Brothel up the street."

Submariner said...

Gettin' rid of the "9er" for SOTG;

So Brokeback, it's pushing out the front.

attmay said...

My'lanta wore her hair in a show of solidarity with her hero, Cynthia McKinney.

Submariner said...

Cynthia McKinney couldn't help but agree with her focus group - this was a poor choice for her official picture on the Congressional website since it had white in it.

Submariner said...

I done decided to name da baby Roofie...

Submariner said...

South American drug cartels hit use a variety of 'mules' for drug smuggling, not just puppies.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Aargh, me body funk has melted me bodice. I'll give ya a $5 break on the price o' me booty, Matey. Aaaargh.

laurie2k said...

Someone needs WartbGone!!!

Silhouette said...

When asked if he minded that his prom date was visibly pregnant, Jason responded, "Eh, at least this way I'm pretty sure she's a she."

David Simon said...

Baby got back - and front.

David Simon said...

laurie2k said...
Someone needs WartbGone!!!

And Roundup.

Slap Shot said...

I said to my dressmaker Delores, "Please Dee, emphasize my breasts."

Submariner said...

Frightening thought, but I'll bet the rug DOES match the drapes...

Submariner said...

Lamarr said; "Pregnant? Oh heaventh no you big thilly goothe... I jutht like my beer."

prince of leaves said...

Still from the little-known blaxploitation film Pregnant Teenage Bride of Frankenstein.

prince of leaves said...

LaShawn was horrified when she suddenly realized what the applique on the front of her prom dress looked like to others.

prince of leaves said...

"Thank you both for choosing Avalon Manor for your prom-night dinner. Your bill will be $3,500,002.23..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

...And somewhere in the city, Dawn's head explodes.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Let's just put it this way; I wouldn't'a touched that with Andrew Sullivan's penis...