1. "Pregnant? No way, I just ate that fat kid from McDonald's under the table."
2. The main reason Curtiss doesn't mind putting his life on the line for Jack Bauer... this is Mrs. Manning.
3. "Hey, Leroy, remember a few days ago when I got that alien face-grabber stuck to my head?"
4. The hazards of holding in your farts so as not to offend your prom date are illustrated here.
5. "Sex Education" is one of those classes where you really don't want to do the extra credit assignments.
6. "Who needs Lamaze, baby? Ain't it obvious I already know how to say 'Push, Push?'"
7. "No momma, it wasn't 'that Leroy' it was... um... the Duke Lacrosse Team. Yeah, that's it. Let's sue their white asses."
8. William Jefferson tries to win support from Barney Frank.
9. "Michael Jackson has already called dibs if it's a boy."
10. "I'm gonna name the baby 'Spawn of Satan' if it's a boy, and 'Hillary' if it's a girl."
This has apparently been shooting 'round the "internets" for some time, but I first saw it at Discarded Lies.