1. In the stripper biz, this move is known as "Rosie O'Donnell's box lunch."
2. "Wow, this chick is even heavier than Barney Frank."
3. Look at the expression on her face. Somehow, I think she'd rather be "interning" for Hillary.
4. VirtuCon quality control weeds out the fembots that are incapable of crushing a man to death in their thighs.
5. Unfortunately, not everything that happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. The scorching case of herpes Belinda is about to get, for example.
6. "No, you cain't uh-rest heem. Ah luv heem."
7. "Sorry Ma'am, but I forgot my shirt and my sunscreen, and I need somethin' to protect my body from harmful UV rays."
8. "Hi kids! Guess what? Mommy's getting us free cable!"
9. Belinda knew no one would ever believe she had just leapt from a burning building and happened to land on a fireman who was getting ready to change into HAZMAT gear.
10. "Giddy-Up, Hoss. Let's sidle over to Sully's KY Corral, then drop by the old Pumpkin Shirt Saloon, and then round out our evening at Miss Smelly's Pirate Brothel."
Best of nevergrewup
Gotta Go, Gotta Go, Gotta Go.
Best of laurie2k
"Now he's removing my spleen..."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Helen, can you relax your thighs a bit? We're getting a mean feedback echo every time Thor says something!"
Shouldn't he be wearing the goggles for this particular spelunking adventure?
It was no wonder Dr.David was the most popular gynecologist.
He placed himself betwix'd her thighs,
And noticed not her concerned eyes.
Attempting to rouse her with his head,
He discovered her "little friend" instead.
It's amazing that one tiny queef could bring an entire party to an abrupt halt.
Best of jbinnout
Belinda suddenly realises why the strippers business card says. "Son of Gene Simmons"
Belinda suddenly regrets having bean burros at the rehearsal dinner.
Best of David Simon
"Whoa. If this is hazing, I want to be reincarnated as a Catholic school girl." - Andrew Sullivan.(Of course, he's always wanted to be reincarnated as a Catholic schoolgirl - V)
Summer's Eve's provocative new ad campaign offended many, but nonetheless got its point across.
The bakery was closed, but quick-thinking Muffy made sure that the pledge still got a pie in the face.
Best of Anonymous
"Hey Ward, have you seen the Beaver today?"
Best of Dave
"Hey Leroy, remember a few days ago when I got that alien face-grabber stuck to my head?"
Best of prince of leaves
The infamous Helen Thomas and Jeff Gannon scene from White House Correspondents Gone Wild III.
"Why is it only now I find out I'm marrying the wrong guy?!?!?"
The Avon focus group had to be suspended when the demonstration of the new steak-and-beer scented feminine deodorant spray got a little out of hand.
Best of Submariner
I told him my name was "Cake" and that he should eat a piece and pass me around...
Although dad and granmpa also gave more traditional "horsey rides," Misty had always liked the ones from Uncle Ted best...
"The Hell Beast is above us and I can smell his evil slut!"
Best of What, me worry?
Bob’s irrepressible compulsion to sniff menstrual flow caused quite a ruckus at the family reunion.
Although the results of her pap smear were positive, Julie nonetheless felt unnerved by the singing telegram from her gynecologist.
Bob, a mentally unstable cheese-curd aficionado, went absolutely ape when hearing of Joan’s yeast infection.
Best of andthenblammo!
"Dad, this 'who's my little girl' thing is a little weird now that I'm in college. Anyway, congratulations on the new job at Chippendale's!"
Best of Cybrludite
The real reason for her expression? He's "endowed" enough to be "knocking on her back door" in this picture.
You may have seen this on badjocks.com