1. Yahoo Personals 'MSW of the month.' 2. At last, someone who sh*ts bigger than Jack Palance.
3. He may be insecure about his height, but he is totally comfortable with his Satanism.
4. Disqualified from PETA's 'Sexiest Vegan' competition. Apparently, human flesh counts.
5. "If human blood turns on cheerleaders, wait 'til they get a load of me!"
6. Christmas Shopping at Hot Topic features a 'non-traditional' Santa.
7. "I am sorry, Mrs. Clinton. But you already sold your soul for a large philly cheesesteak and extra large Dr. Pepper. It's too late to renegotiate."
8. Al Gore has admitted that the 'oil compny executive' interviewed in his Global Warming movie was an actor, but maintains his depiction was 'fake but accurate.'
Best of Rodney Dill
"Normally I wouldn't go huntin' with y'all, but this Cheney feller intrigues me."
"Naw, I'm not here to date yer daughter, Submariner, I'm here to date you!"
"I ate 13 of them freakin' green donuts, and now I'm constipated sumthin' fierce."
The only known surviving drummer from Spinal Tap
Best of Silhouette
Rodin's The Sneerer
"I love little baby ducks,
old pick-up trucks,
slow movin trains, and rain."
"What? I skated my ass off out there. 5.4 for technical?"
Best of Divine Miss M
Okay, let's go over this again: rape first, THEN pillage!
Best of Submariner
Elvira moaned; "Give me 12 inches and make it hurt!" Lordi poked 'er four times and made her watch MSNBC...
From the look on his face, the girth on that turd must be ginormous!
SOTG looked at his assigned celebrity partner and knew that he'd better win this round of the "$25,000 Pyramid."
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Servants would dare each other to vigorously shake the Diet Coke can of the Exhaulted Lord Xzltqoth.
Best of The Man
Former VP candidate John Edwards went cheap while focus grouping, leading to his controversial new look.
His hair still takes hours to perfect.
Fox's Speed Metal Idol never got past the pilot episode.
Best of Mr. Right
What's in your wallet?
"One more snide remark out of you, wise guy, and I'll feed you to my kneecap!"
Satan's greatest lament... "Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a decent manicurist down here?"
Due to an unfortunate typo, many unwitting parents soon discovered that they had brought their children to Macy's to have their portrait taken on Satan's lap.
Best of Cricket
I wonder if he uses Palmolive diswashing liquid?
Best of Slap Shot
Remember not to strain too hard, it could give you hemmerhoids!
55 comments:
Andrew Sullivan's dream dominator....
Barney Frank's favorite houseguest.
I don't mock goths, it's just the earnestness of their pursuit that thrills me. All the trouble to get the details down - the liner, the lipstick, the mousse, the dying of hair and wardrobe - then the ultimate insult of having to spend endless evenings not in fifteenth century castles but in twenty first century pizza huts. With Dad.
"Normally I wouldn't go huntin' with y'all, but this Cheney feller intrigues me."
"My kneecaps have killed men bigger'n you."
"Naw, I'm not here to date yer daughter, Submariner, I'm here to date you!"
"I ate 13 of them freakin' green donuts, and now I'm constipated sumthin' fierce."
Rodin's The Sneerer
Damn, Monty, I wish I had chosen what Jay had on his table.
Even Gene Simmons wants to know where he got those threads.
Okay, let's go over this again: rape first, THEN pillage!
The only known surviving drummer from Spinal Tap
"So Gork as a Rock Star, what instrument do you play?"
"Accordian, wanna make something of it?"
Barney Frank said...
"Whoa! Giggidy, giggidy..."
Elvira snickered; "You KNOW what they say about the size of a man's feet, don't you?"
"I love little baby ducks,
old pick-up trucks,
slow movin trains, and rain."
Elvira moaned; "Give me 12 inches and make it hurt!"
Lordi poked 'er four times and made her watch MSNBC...
"What? I skated my ass off out there. 5.4 for technical?"
Markos Moulitsas Zuniga ponders a wording for his next BusHitlerHaliburtonCheney is Satan diatribe...
So Allah promises 72 virgins to a martyr? What the hell do they do in the afternoon?
Dawn wonders what else she can do to "get through" to that crass, backward group at Cap This in order to make them more genteel and sensitive to the feelings of ladies of color...
Holy shnikes! I checked in thinking it was "Hot Chick Thursday", looked at the photo, and thought we'd have to get together for an intervention for V the K.
I think I prefer Rob Zombie's earlier stuff.
Maxim Magazine's Top 5 Ways To Attract Hot Chicks:
#5 - 6-inch shoe lifts.
#4 - A nice smile.
#3 - Well manicured cuticles.
#2 - Shoulder rams.
#1 - Knee skulls.
Servants would dare each other to vigorously shake the Diet Coke can of the Exhaulted Lord Xzltqoth.
Bo Bice was still pissed about Carrie Underwood's going on to receive a Country Music award.
"I like kittens. I had three with my eggs and toast this morning."
What every guy looks like to a girl's father when he arrives to pick up his prom date.
"I'd just like the Eurovision judges to know that I hope they make the right choice..."
divine miss M said...
What every guy looks like to a girl's father when he arrives to pick up his prom date.
Actually, this is what I looked like to my daughter's prom date when he arrived to pick her up. That and cleaning the old 12 gauge, and giggling to myself, and telling him to "get down, they might see him and open fire..."
"I'm Mr. Gork, and I'll be your teacher this year. I trust you kindergarteners won't give me any discipline problems...?"
"Class, we have a very special visitor today for Sunday School..."
ORA: "Oops, sorry man, wrong curtain...Say, you haven't seen Laura Palmer or a dancing midget around here by chance...?"
Former VP candidate John Edwards went cheap while focus grouping, leading to his controversial new look.
His hair still takes hours to perfect.
Fox's Speed Metal Idol never got past the pilot episode.
What happens to kids who play too much Dungeons and Dragons growing up.
As Hillary was sworn into office, the skies opened wide and the earth shook. Demons roamed the world freely. The prophecies of armageddon had been fulfilled.
SOTG looked at his assigned celebrity partner and knew that he'd better win this round of the "$25,000 Pyramid."
Call me Ishmael...
Think I'm scary now? I'm an AT&T customer service rep in my day job...
Gene Simmons' dad expresses his disappointment that his son only turned out to be a famous rock star on this week's "Behind the Music."
"Strong!?! Of course I'm strong - you know what this stuff weighs?" "Oh - strong smellin'? Sorry."
From the look on his face, the girth on that turd must be ginormous!
Wouldn't ya just LOVE to be a fly on the wall when Chelsea introduced this to Bill and Hillary as her new "fiance?" I'm just sayin'
I shouldn't have had that last hot dog. NATHAN'S MUST DIE!!!!!
Helen Thomas never bothered with make-up on her days off.
What's in your wallet?
Welcome to your eternal reward, Mohammed Atta! Just one question? How would you prefer your own internal organs: Original Recipe or Extra Crispy?
"One more snide remark out of you, wise guy, and I'll feed you to my kneecap!"
"The hard part about this new biker gang outfit is working the kickstand with these damned boots!"
Satan's greatest lament...
"Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a decent manicurist down here?"
Due to an unfortunate typo, many unwitting parents soon discovered that they had brought their children to Macy's to have their portrait taken on Satan's lap.
Prefers a bidet.
The Neocon Klingon.
Makes Lt. Worf look like a pansy.
I wonder if he uses Palmolive diswashing liquid?
Why does he let his mother-in-law lean against his left thigh?
Remember not to strain too hard, it could give you hemmerhoids!
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