Monday, May 22, 2006

Lordy Lord

1. "Ia! Ia! Shib-Niggurath! Goat of the Woods with a thousand young!"

2. Upon hearing the incantation, Katie Couric reverts to her natural form.

3. Andrew Sullivan, after being tricked into believing 'soaking in an acid bath will give you an unbelievable orgazm.'"

4. "No one warned me the Botox would wear off!"

5. "Good evening, Mr. Submariner. I'm here to take your daughter to the prom."

6. Iran's ambassador prepares to take his seat on the UN Human Rights Commission.

7. "Come over here and give grandma a hug."

8. The 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' team had barely begun the makeover when Gorack slayed them and feasted upon their remains.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Aw Mom!, did you borrow my Inferno Red nail polish again?"

Gork didn't talk much, but he did make the occasional udderance.

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
ORA: "Hey...you wanna see something REALLY scary?"

On "Making the Band: Gwar", Erazmus doesn't take getting voted off very well.

Best of The Man
The New Kids on the Block reunion plans hit a snag when Joey walked into the room.

DNC Tip #23 - Do not feed Howard Dean after midnight.

Illegal immigrants from Zolthor need to be sent home.

Best of AM42
"Oh crap... a zit... right in the middle of my forehead. And they're taking our yearbook pictures today!"

Best of Submariner
"...because I'm good enough, smart enough, and - doggone it - people like me!"

I'll take Michael J Fox's daydreams for $1000, Alex.

Just tell Grandma you forgot dinner with her because you were in a psycotropic haze at the annual combined coven orgy, rave, and 'battle of the heavy metal bands.' She'll understand...

Best of Silhouette
"No one can see me but you, Sirhan Sirhan. I dare you to shoot."

Proactiv Solution is a revolutionary, dermatologist-developed Combination Therapy® system that helps the skin heal the blemishes you have now - and helps stop new ones from forming - in three quick, easy steps.

'Ow to speak Awstraylian:Miffed

Best of prince of leaves
"I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL FOR DESSERT, PATHETIC MORTAL! PREPARE TO-- HUH? " (sobbing): "Ohhhh fiddlesticks! I broke a nail!"

All right -- which one of you kids put the head back on the Kurgan?

Reason #121543 to Ban Human Cloning: The castoffs from Rosie O'Donnell's stemline.

Best of Cybrludite
I'm so Goth that I $#!+ bats!

Best of racerboy
NO... MORE... WIRE... HANGERS!!!!!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Good news and bad news, Kyle... The bad news is the radiation-enhanced Propecia has had a detrimental effect to your DNA... The good news is you've got some pretty kickin' facial hair!"

"Hey Ralph... you ever feel, you know, not so fresh?"

"NO CAN STAND THAT CHRIS DOUGHTRY KICKED OFF AMERICAN IDOL! ALL HUMAN MUST DIE!"

Just tell Grandma you couldn't make it because you were busy battling the Emperor Qxalgagithlon for the fate of the universe. She'll understand.

I never used to see that face when we were dating, but now that we're married, bang!... Every month like clockwork.

Best of sonicfrog
Next on Fox, Evil Nanny 911.

Best of bad-d-d-dude
AlGore, egged on by Democratic strategist Bob Shrum, once again tries to re-invent himself--this time as ALGORE: Undead Gothic Warlord of the Warm Earth.

71 comments:

Submariner said...

V. - Re your #5 - >snicker< >snicker<

Making fun of fine, upstanding, Mormon missionary boys trying to better themselves. Nice. Read his story. Edumacate yourselves, morons.

Submariner said...

Grandma was taken aback. "Never mind, Peter. Please put your nice Jack-o-Lantern t shirt back on..."

Submariner said...

Hal was surprised that after he was touched by Tony Robbins, Helen Thomas only looked somewhat taller.

Submariner said...

V. the K. is rather difficult to get along with until he has that "first cup of coffee." Afterwards? He's a little pussycat...

Submariner said...

From the looks of his belly, I'd say the "Ladyfingers" desert didn't agree with him.

Rodney Dill said...

"Aw Mom!, did you borrow my Inferno Red nail polish again?"

Rodney Dill said...

Got Milk?

sonicfrog said...

Oh, crap! Did I miss the Janet Reno look-alike contest again??

Rodney Dill said...

Gork didn't talk much, but he did make the occasional udderance.

Jonathan said...

Howard Dean on the morning after the 2006 elections.

Jonathan said...

ORA: "Hey...you wanna see something REALLY scary?"

Jonathan said...

On "Making the Band: Gwar", Erazmus doesn't take getting voted off very well.

The Man said...

The New Kids on the Block reunion plans hit a snag when Joey walked into the room.

The Man said...

DNC Tip #23 - Do not feed Howard Dean after midnight.

attmay said...

My mom used to tell me that eating too much chocolate would make your skin break out.

The Man said...

Illegal immigrants from Zolthor need to be sent home.

AM42 said...

"Oh crap... a zit... right in the middle of my forehead. And they're taking our yearbook pictures at school today!"

AM42 said...

"Dammit- there goes my contact lens again. These suckers are such a bitch to put in."

AM42 said...

Wow, Al Gore has really let himself go.

AM42 said...

Now we know why sotg doesn't use his own picture on blogger...

AM42 said...

Gene Simmons- before the makeup.

jeff said...

Barney Frank and Andrew Sullivan looked, swooned, and turned around and bent over. Too bad they didn't realize those were mamaries.

David Simon said...

"Yes, Ms. Streisand and I do share the same manicurist."

Cricket said...

Hillary before her makeover.

Klingon mutation.

Submariner said...

Where will you be when your laxative kicks in?

Submariner said...

At the kick-off concert in 'Frisco, Madonna finally takes her demon-worshipping act too far as Beelzeboob rises up and takes her as his concubine...

Silhouette said...

Welcome to Geography Pantomime.

The answer is "Hell's Kitchen."

Silhouette said...

Up next on the Food Network, Devil's Food cake.

Submariner said...

This is actually a photo-enlargement from Popular Science microscope series of dingle-berries from Mike al'Moore's butt...

Submariner said...

Martha Stewart reacts to the switch to "Folgers Crystals" during a commercial break...

Silhouette said...

"No one can see me but you, Sirhan Sirhan. I dare you to shoot."

Submariner said...

"...because I'm good enough, smart enough, and - doggone it - people like me!"

Submariner said...

Hi, son. I'm Sam. Now here's what I want you to do for me...

Silhouette said...

Proactiv Solution is a revolutionary, dermatologist-developed Combination Therapy® system that helps the skin heal the blemishes you have now - and helps stop new ones from forming - in three quick, easy steps.

Submariner said...

ORA:

You know, sometimes I envy you and Edna. You have the same person every day for over 30 years. You wake up, eat with her, sleep with her. Make love to the same woman. You spend every possible waking moment together, while I'm out running around with a bunch of 20-year-olds who only want a good time and cheap sex, sex, sex. Girls who can't say no. Girls who can't get enough. "More, more, more. It's your turn now to wear the handcuffs..."

Silhouette said...

YMNTGIR:(You-Might-Need-To-Google-It-Reference)

Who cooked lasagna for the Tottenham 'Spurs.

Anonymous said...

Helen Thomas reacts to a putdown by Tony Snow...

prince of leaves said...

"I WILL EAT YOUR SOUL FOR DESSERT, PATHETIC MORTAL! PREPARE TO-- HUH? " (sobbing): "Ohhhh fiddlesticks! I broke a nail!"

prince of leaves said...

When the bandages came off, Michael Jackson finally decided enough plastic surgery was enough.

prince of leaves said...

"Omigawd! I think I saw a spider!!! Eeeeieieieieeii!"

prince of leaves said...

"YAAAAWWWWWN! Ahh, just what I needed, a few hours of beauty sleep..."

prince of leaves said...

All right -- which one of you kids put the head back on the Kurgan?

prince of leaves said...

ORA: "What are we but a shadow of a shadow? Our masters gone. Our home, Z'ha'dum, destroyed. We wandered. Then we remembered...this place. We remembered...you."

prince of leaves said...

Reason #121543 to Ban Human Cloning: The castoffs from Rosie O'Donnell's stemline.

prince of leaves said...

"Why are you running away screaming? Was it something I said?"

Cybrludite said...

Why, I'm so Goth that I $#!+ bats!

Cybrludite said...

What really happens when Mormons drink coffee...

Submariner said...

I'll take Michael J Fox's daydreams for $1000, Alex.

Submariner said...

Just tell Grandma you forgot dinner with her because you were in a psycotropic haze at the annual combined coven orgy, rave, and 'battle of the heavy metal bands.' She'll understand...

Submariner said...

Michael Jackson reacts to news that McCauley Culkin is getting married to a girl...

Submariner said...

'Ow to speak Awstraylian:
Miffed

racerboy said...

NO... WIRE... HANGERS!!!!!

Anonymous said...

SOTG lost it - "Where the hades are the 'Best of' entries?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Klingon Linda Blair

(ha ha, very funny, anonymous ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Good news and bad news, Kyle... The bad news is the radiation-enhanced Propecia has had a detrimental effect to your DNA... The good news is you've got some pretty kickin' facial hair!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I don't know if they're udders, but I ain't gonna milk 'im!

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey Ralph... you ever feel, you know, not so fresh?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

"NO CAN STAND THAT CHRIS DOUGHTRY KICKED OFF AMERICAN IDOL! ALL HUMAN MUST DIE!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

Just tell Grandma you couldn't make it because you were busy battling the Emperor Qxalgagithlon for the fate of the universe. She'll understand.

Son Of The Godfather said...

I never used to see that face when we were dating, but now that we're married, bang!... Every month like clockwork.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"AAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaveeeeeeee Mariiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaa...."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Well Gort, looks like you could mine some pretty decent nose-goblins with those Frito chips you call fingernails..."

Submariner said...

The discontinuity between his appearance and Tommy Tune's son singing ♪Every little breeze seems to whisper Louise♪ finally drove Casey Casem off the air...

Submariner said...

As the evil spirit possesses Son Of The Godfather, he is forced to type "Submariner's prom date accepts."

(SOTG - Now I understand, but how did V. manage to have the camera there at the right time?) ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

That V the K is like Allen f-ing Funt, that's how!

Submariner said...

Matt Lauer reacts to Katie Couric "casually dropping" the details of her new seeBS contract.

Submariner said...

Kant believe this is still available after 66 posts! (how's that for a cerebral ORA?)

Kaaaaaahhhhhhhnnnnnnnn!

sonicfrog said...

Next on Fox, Evil Nanny 911.

bad-d-d-dude said...

AlGore, egged on by Democratic strategist Bob Shrum, once again tries to re-invent himself--this time as ALGORE: Undead Gothic Warlord of the Warm Earth.

Submariner said...

Mike al'Moore's poster of George W. Bush, Evil Overlord of the American Invaders
(Get yours for just 9.95 + s&h at www.mikeyhatesamerica.org)

laurie2k said...

"I have no grace, no beauty, no good friends, no wit. . . but I have internalized these bagpipes and I know how to gut a deer!"