Tuesday, May 09, 2006

I Shall Call Her, "Botoxia, Queen of the Damned"

1. "The Democratic position that all crosses be banned from public display is purely a church and state issue and has nothing to do with my being Queen of the Damned."

2. "Our first act upon taking over the House will be impeachment, followed by feasting on the blood of innocents, then a tax increase..."

3. "All of our menstrual cycles have been synchronized with Hillary's for some time."

4. From this pirated screenshot from Halo 3, we see that The Flood will continue to be among the villains.

5. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you must not let the undead pick your nose.

6. "Oh, man, when I get back to Eastwick, me, Cher and Susan Sarandon are SO putting a curse on your wang."

7. "For the last time, I don't know what happened to Hansel and Gretel, Now, step away from my gingerbread house."

8. Not even Larry King bought into Pelosi's claim that she was "the original San Francisco Treat."

9. "No, no, step away from me with that Holy Water."

10. Sep'd at birth, Nancy Pelosi and the Crypt-Keeper.

Best of Rodney Dill
"...and this is the finger I used for Cynthia McKinney's body cavity search."

Best of Submariner
♪One is the loneliest number that I've ever done...♪
♪Two, might be as bad as one, but I'll never know...♪

Wait! I have an idea... never mind, I really just wanted to see what it was like to say that...

My doctor told me that if I have just 1 more face lift I'll be sportin' a goatee. Ha! What does he know? I shave, so at worst I'll have a cleft chin like Kirk Douglas!

I am not! I bathe...

Best of Vonster
"He tasks me...and I shall have him"

Best of sonicfrog
"... so I sued Terry Gilliam for revealing my beauty secrets in his film "Brazil"..."

Best of nevergrewup
"I did not have sex with that...Crypt-Keeper."

"Dear Nancy, I loved last night. Sorry about the premature pulloutsi. Will drop your blouse off at the cleaners as soon as I get the chance."

Best of Jason
Congresswoman Pelosi responds to the question: How many actual thoughts have you ever had?

Best of Cybrludite
Ma'am, how many brain cells has the botox left you with?

Best of What, me worry?
"Do you have a Kleenex? Normally I eat my bugars, but I am on TV".

Best of Mr. Right
Here, sniff for yourself... you can still detect a hint of the sweet scent of Hillary's precious nectar!

Best of Son Of The Godfather
The positive side of Botox is that I have an explanation for my odd facial expressions when pulled over by the police... Hey, get Pat Kennedy on the phone.

The doctor said I could choose between either the "Uh-oh, I just peed a little" look, or the more popular "anal intrusion" look. I chose a single combination of the two.

From Drudge.

36 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Another Fear caught in the Headlights

Rodney Dill said...

"...and this is the finger I used for Cynthia McKinney's body cavity search."

Submariner said...

One is the loneliest number that I've ever done...
Two, might be as bad as one, but I'll never know...

Submariner said...

Maybe that should have been:
One is the onliest number...

Submariner said...

Uh, uh, uh! Don't touch that Republican lever...

Submariner said...

My doctor told me that if I have just 1 more face lift I'll be sportin' a goatee. Ha! What does he know? I shave, so at worst I'll have a cleft chin like Kirk Douglas!

Submariner said...

I am not! Clinton "smoked but never inhaled" and you bought it, so, well, I never swallowed...

Submariner said...

I am not! I bathe...

Vonster said...

The Wrath of Con...

"He taskes me...and I shall have him"

sonicfrog said...

Nancy Pelosi; political proctologist!

Jonathan said...

Pelosi self-adminsters a concussion test.

sonicfrog said...

"... so I sued Terry Gilliam for revealing my beauty secrets in his film "Brazil"..."

jeff said...

I think the Nancy Reagan look works for me - what do you think?

Cricket said...

Nancy Pelosi gives Rumsfeld the finger.

"I did not have sex with that woman."

divine miss M said...

She wasn't listening when her mother told her if she made that face one more time, it would freeze that way.

Michigan-Matt said...

You, camera-character! You take that camera off of me and I'll cut your legs off in ONE nanosecond. I am so not done.

I will be queen. I will be queen damn it.

Submariner said...

You shake my nerve and you rattle my brain...
No, wait a second. Strike that, I'm pretty sure that was the botox...

nevergrewup said...

"I did not have sex with that...Crypt-Keeper."

"Dear Nancy, I loved last night. Sorry about the premature pulloutsi. Will drop your blouse off at the cleaners as soon as I get the chance."

Jason said...

...and then the vacuum cleaner got stuck in my ass and my face got stuck like this.

Jason said...

Congresswoman Pelosi responds to the question: How many good ideas have you ever had?

Shayne said...

And this is my impersonation of "Shit on a stick"!

Cybrludite said...

Ma'am, how many brain cells has the botox left you with?

What, me worry? said...

"When I'm elected the first woman president, this is the finger that I would use to push the button on the Nuclear Football, harkening the advent of Satan's Reign on earth".

"If abortion became illegal, and then coat hangers became rare due to the ineptness of the Bush administration, I would personally perform the procedure myself, using this very finger".

Startled t hears that the illegals were threatening to shut down burrito making in the US, Nancy Pelosi outlines the first of her proposed concessions. She would count on all fingers and toes before she was finished.

"Just one" quipped Nancy Pelosi, when asked how many aborted fetuses were needed for a typical sacrifice to Satan.

"Here's how you insert the contact lense".

Mr. Right said...

Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi (Moonbat-San Francisco) proudly indicates the results of her latest IQ test, which was administered only minutes after her most recent bowel movement.

Mr. Right said...

Here, sniff for yourself... you can still detect a hint of the sweet scent of Hillary's precious nectar!

Son Of The Godfather said...

The positive side of Botox is that I have an explanation for my odd facial expressions when pulled over by the police... Hey, get Pat Kennedy on the phone.

(Mr.Right, that last one was SOOOO wrong!... And Vonster, no kyping my Avatar! ;)

Son Of The Godfather said...

The doctor said I could choose between either the "Uh-oh, I just peed a little" look, or the more popular "anal intrusion" look. I chose a single combination of the two.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"I will give you exactly ONE minute to take back your comment about V the K posting my picture so close to Hot-Babe Thursday."

T. Harris said...

"Now just hold on there one second. To say that ALL Californians are idiots because they keep re-electing me is very insulting to all the non-idiots that didn't vote for me. I shall seek a full and complete investigation."

Submariner said...

Uh-uh. No "Holy Hnadgrenades" allowed in chambers, Speaker Haster...

Submariner said...

♪ ...and I said "no no no no, I don't >snort!< no more; I'm tired of waking up on the floor. ♪
♪ No thank you, please, it puts me on my knees. And then it makes it hard to clean this whore. ♪

Submariner said...

Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtagan!

What, me worry? said...

"You are getting sleepy. Your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier".

"Do you have a Kleenex? Normally I eat my bugars, but I am on TV".

Submariner said...

Wait! I have an idea... never mind, I really just wanted to see what it was like to say that...

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Naughty, naughty, Sen. Mikulski. Didn't we talk about not saying "giggidy, giggidy" to each other in front of the cameras?

What, me worry? said...

Q: How many psycho witch congresswomen from California does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, assuming that you are replacing one eco-friendly, pro-abortion, anti-Bush, anti-war, pro-communist, extremely leftist, anti-American, made in China, anti-homophobic, feminist bulb with another.