1. "The Democratic position that all crosses be banned from public display is purely a church and state issue and has nothing to do with my being Queen of the Damned."
2. "Our first act upon taking over the House will be impeachment, followed by feasting on the blood of innocents, then a tax increase..."
3. "All of our menstrual cycles have been synchronized with Hillary's for some time."
4. From this pirated screenshot from Halo 3, we see that The Flood will continue to be among the villains.
5. You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you must not let the undead pick your nose.
6. "Oh, man, when I get back to Eastwick, me, Cher and Susan Sarandon are SO putting a curse on your wang."
7. "For the last time, I don't know what happened to Hansel and Gretel, Now, step away from my gingerbread house."
8. Not even Larry King bought into Pelosi's claim that she was "the original San Francisco Treat."
9. "No, no, step away from me with that Holy Water."
10. Sep'd at birth, Nancy Pelosi and the Crypt-Keeper.
Best of Rodney Dill
"...and this is the finger I used for Cynthia McKinney's body cavity search."
Best of Submariner
♪One is the loneliest number that I've ever done...♪
♪Two, might be as bad as one, but I'll never know...♪
Wait! I have an idea... never mind, I really just wanted to see what it was like to say that...
My doctor told me that if I have just 1 more face lift I'll be sportin' a goatee. Ha! What does he know? I shave, so at worst I'll have a cleft chin like Kirk Douglas!
I am not! I bathe...
Best of Vonster
"He tasks me...and I shall have him"
Best of sonicfrog
"... so I sued Terry Gilliam for revealing my beauty secrets in his film "Brazil"..."
Best of nevergrewup
"I did not have sex with that...Crypt-Keeper."
"Dear Nancy, I loved last night. Sorry about the premature pulloutsi. Will drop your blouse off at the cleaners as soon as I get the chance."
Best of Jason
Congresswoman Pelosi responds to the question: How many actual thoughts have you ever had?
Best of Cybrludite
Ma'am, how many brain cells has the botox left you with?
Best of What, me worry?
"Do you have a Kleenex? Normally I eat my bugars, but I am on TV".
Best of Mr. Right
Here, sniff for yourself... you can still detect a hint of the sweet scent of Hillary's precious nectar!
Best of Son Of The Godfather
The positive side of Botox is that I have an explanation for my odd facial expressions when pulled over by the police... Hey, get Pat Kennedy on the phone.
The doctor said I could choose between either the "Uh-oh, I just peed a little" look, or the more popular "anal intrusion" look. I chose a single combination of the two.