Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Go to Town

Between work and having to write-up the Synopsis of the '24' Season Finale at B4B, I'm swamped, so, here, get this captioned up and I'll cut right to the best ofs.


Best of The Man
The news of Jack Bauer's arrival in China has given 1.2 billion Chinese an excuse to get the hell out. Andrew Sullivan's google search for "Chinese Blow Jobs" Brokeback China opens up with a bang, but in the end...it blows.

There - first for Jack Bauer, Andrew Sullivan, and Brokeback reference! Now, how to tie this in to kids in leotards, Johnny Weir, and VtheK's new job.

Best of David Simon
Panic ensued as it was announced that anyone who couldn't pronounce the letter L would be thrown overboard.

Kim Jong Il's starving subjects were not amused when he told them it would taste like chicken.

Best of Citizen Grim
"Death by Tentacled Beast" wasn't the most subtle mass execution in Mao's repertoire, but then, he was never known for his subtleties.

Best of Submariner
Ah, sure an' begorrah. 'Tis only the O'Sullivan's little people inflating young Andrew's anal O rings...

Best of tuffbeingright
Sadly, the Guinness people had no category for "Largest collection of circular bugars."

Urged by the promise of $1,000 and instant fame, workers feverishly competed to construct a new diaphragm for Paris Hilton.

Best of Rodney Dill
"Once more crack about rings around Uranus and I'll..."

These are not the ellipsoids you are looking for...

Best of What, me worry?
A mean drunk, the Jolly Green Giant orders: “Eat my pubic hairs or die!”

Kim Jung Il will be very disappointed when he finds out that his hapless slave laborers got it wrong again when he said he wanted his lover to experience “really big O’s”.

Best of Silhouette
Chef Boy-R-Dee's surreal new ad campaign for pesto Spaghetti-Os

Hemorrhoid pandemics at sea

“Orange hunting vests becrause Cheney visiting with US deregation. The rife preservers becrause Kennedy come too.”

Inspired by Rodney Dill
Giant Soylent Cheerios are made out of people




Hat tip: Brenda Walker
Source: I Got Your Source Right Here

37 comments:

The Man said...

The news of Jack Bauer's arrival in China has given 1.2 billion Chinese an excuse to get the hell out.

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan's google search for "Chinese Blow Jobs"

The Man said...

Brokeback China opens up with a bang, but in the end...it blows.

There - first for Jack Bauer, Andrew Sullivan, and Brokeback reference! Now, how to tie this in to kids in leotards, Johnny Weir, and VtheK's new job.

David Simon said...

Panic ensued as it was announced that anyone who couldn't pronounce the letter L would be thrown overboard.

Citizen Grim said...

"Death by Tentacled Beast" wasn't the most subtle mass execution in Mao's repertoire, but then, he was never known for his subtleties.

David Simon said...

Kim Jong Il's starving subjects were not amused when he told them it would taste like chicken.

Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan took one look at that many men blowing hard round tubes, and fainted dead away in ecstasy.

Submariner said...

Ah, sure an' begorrah. 'Tis only the O'Sullivan's little people inflating young Andrew's anal O rings...

tuffbeingright said...

Sadly, the Guinness people had no category for "Largest collection of circular bugars."

tuffbeingright said...

What's orange and green, weighs 5,000 pounds, and has an I.Q. of 12?



-------


"They are just inflating the green inner tubes that Americans won't inflate," urged President Bush. "Family values don't stop at the Yangtze river!"


--------

Urged by the promise of $1,000 and instant fame, workers feverishly competed to construct a new diaphragm for Paris Hilton.

Submariner said...

The IRA Leprechaun Brigade prepares for the 2006 Mummer's Parade.

Submariner said...

algore shook his head and gestured for the CNN cameras; "Can't you see the effects that global warming is having on the growth patterns of these Jack-o-Lantern children in my garden?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Once more crack about rings around Uranus and I'll..."

What, me worry? said...

First day students at Andrew Sullivan’s balloon blowing school learn the basics of mouth inflation.

A mean drunk, the Jolly Green Giant orders: “Eat my pubic hairs or die!”

What, me worry? said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rodney Dill said...

All Inner-Tuba marching band

Silhouette said...

A very special The Love Boat.

Silhouette said...

Chef Boy-R-Dee's new ad campaign for pesto Spaghetti-Os

Silhouette said...

Hemorrhoid pandemics at sea

What, me worry? said...

Of all of the Olympic synchronized balloon blowers competitors, the North Korean team was the most poorly choreographed and least colorful.

Silhouette said...

“Orange hunting vests becrause Cheney visiting with US deregation. The rife preservers becrause Kennedy come too.”

Rodney Dill said...

These are not the ellipsoids you are looking for...

Submariner said...

Tonight on a very special episode of The Love Boat, Julie finds out she's into the "group scene, midgets, and Capt. Steubing's bald head.

Rodney Dill said...

In the olden days before the invention of automatic meat grinders, sausage making was considered more of an art form.

Rodney Dill said...

Soylent Green is people

Submariner said...

Teddy mused; "How many Asian's can you get in the trunk of a Olds Delmont 88?"

Silhouette said...

NASA outsources O-ring production to Asia. In unrelated story, entire astronaut staff resigns.

What, me worry? said...

Preparing to go undercover, workers prepare the necessary green camouflaged uniforms that the Michelin Man would need for the Indonesian rain forest.

Kim Jung Il will be very disappointed when he finds out that his hapless slave laborers got it wrong again when he said he wanted his lover to experience “really big O’s”.

Silhouette said...

We couldn't find seventy six trombones.

What, me worry? said...

"Hopefully it's just a passing fad", gasped one of the workers in response the the Jolly Green Giant's command of Nipple rings! More nipple rings, damn you!

Rodney Dill said...

Some fetishes are best left unexplained.

Rodney Dill said...

The tuners finely adjust the resonators for the Queef-ette Symphonic Orchestra.

racerboy said...

The Peoples' Republic's All-China Synchronized Tuba Team prepares for its big entrance at the 2008 Summer Olympics in Bejing...

(vilification word: "yrnsx" Honestly, folks, I'm not making this up... but I sure hope somebody is...)

Silhouette said...

An aging Vienna Boys Choir resorts to helium balloons when unable to find younger replacements.

jeff said...

The People's Army trains for a waterborne invasion of Taiwan - assumes defenders will be too busy laughing to shoot.

bad-d-d-dude said...

Scores of illegal immigrants march on the Capitol as they manually inflate "vintage" toilet cushions --yet another vital job that they claim would go undone but for (or should that be "butt for")the presence of immigrant labor.

Rodney Dill said...

Sheer genius often only occurs in isolation, but stupidity collaborates.

(Rodney's Rule)