Friday, May 12, 2006

"GET IN MAH BELLY!"

1. Montel's paternity test confirmed that Jabba the Hutt was, in fact, his baby's daddy.

2. "Seems reasonably tender, I'll give you $3.49 a pound."

3. "I want my baby back baby back baby back ... ribs!"

4. "Sushi? No thank you. Hideki and I have gone Brokeback."

5. Speaking of Brokeback Mountin', that's a pretty fair summation of their sex lives.

6. "I bring good news. Americans can eat burritos no longer. Michael Moore's crippling advantage in International Fart Competitions is at an end."

7. After seeing this, the Supreme Court may decide to revisit the Communications Decency Act.

8. "Yeah, I kind of let myself go after George Takei dumped me."

Best of Rodney Dill
"Uh this isn't working very well, lets just go back to fighting by hitting each other with clubs instead."

The annual Babyput competition. Edgar on the right holds the record distance of 75 feet.

Best of Van Helsing
"I'll wait until she calms down. If I eat them while they're crying, it makes me belch afterwards."


Best of Silhouette
The Tokyo playhouse presents: Mohammad Chooses A Bride

Best of jeff
"Ah good! Her digestive sounds are good and strong...oh, excuse me, those are yours!"

Best of Submariner
Prease to terr baby to ret go ear!

Best of what, me worry?
"Why is she crying? I think she just realized that her father is a big fat slob who walks around in public in nothing but a thong". (Ted Kennedy? – V)

Kumar the Sumo wrestler knew he was getting big when his gravitational pull caused the toddler and the wrestling official to stick to him like moons orbiting a planet.

At the reception following their gay wedding in San Francisco’s Chinatown, the two flamboyant fat men inspect the presents that Michael Jackson gave them.

Best of David Simon
"They sure didn't rike potty training, Suki." "That's because they had to use the potty after you and Hideo each took fifteen minute dumps, Matsui."

Best of e-ho
George Clooney checks into eating disorder clinic after he accidentally devours one of Brangelina's kids.

Best of Chip
Me not horny.

Best of Robert
Well what do you know, here's another baby stuck in my fat rolls.

Hat Tip: Brenda and Yahoo News.

30 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Uh this isn't working very well, lets just go back to fighting by hitting each other with clubs instead."

Van Helsing said...

"I'll wait until she calms down. If I eat them while they're crying, it makes me belch afterwards."

Rodney Dill said...

The annual Babyput competition. Edgar on the right holds the record distance of 75 feet.

Rodney Dill said...

"I said bring the babies, not fring the babies."

Rodney Dill said...

"OK see who can quiet their baby the first, no frattening allowed."

Silhouette said...

The Tokyo playhouse presents:
Mohammad Chooses A Bride

Jason said...

Midget Tossing: the new event on MXC: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge!

jeff said...

"Ah good! Her digestive sounds are good and strong...oh, excuse me, those are yours!"

attmay said...

It seems that Fat Bastard has family scattered all over the world.

Submariner said...

It appears that your baby doesn't like "When you wish upon a star." Perhaps if you coughed up the cricket?

bad-d-d-dude said...

Michael Jackson, apparently tiring of being a poor black boy and then a rich white woman, tries his hand, after millions of dollars in plastic surgery, at being a fat Chinese guy. Unfortunately, the focus of his romantic interest did not change.

Submariner said...

Prease to terr baby to ret go ear!

Submariner said...

Inspired by Tropicana Twisters ads, Sumo wrestlers began taking up ventriloquism. Due to an unfortunate translation error, they were tragically unaware that they should use dummies in their act...

Submariner said...

All I'm sayin' is that that's a heckuva lot of kobe beef...

What, me worry? said...

"Why is she crying? I think she just realized that her father is a big fat slob who walks around in public in nothing but a thong".

What, me worry? said...

"Look what I found under one of my roles of fat. Does anyone know who these kids belong to"?

What, me worry? said...

Kumar the Sumo wrestler knew he was getting big when his gravitational pull caused the toddler and the wrestling official to stick to him like moons orbiting a planet.

Lying dormant inside their unknowing host bodies until summoned by High Priestess Nancy Pelosi’s index finger of evil, the two alien demon children emerge through the wrestlers’ rib cages during the middle of the GREAT FRIDAY NIGHT SMACKDOWN MATCH.

What, me worry? said...

At the reception following their gay wedding in San Francisco’s Chinatown, the two flamboyant fat men inspect the presents that Michael Jackson gave them.

David Simon said...

"They sure didn't rike potty training, Suki." "That's because they had to use the potty after you and Hideo each took fifteen minute dumps, Matsui."

What, me worry? said...

After a lifetime of extreme over consumption, Kumar’s mouth spontaneously transforms into a black hole, sucking in all surrounding matter. Even fellow sumo wrestlers, children and referees were not immune from the force of the surreal metamorphosis.

Submariner said...

Ladies: Need to get rid of 450 pounds of ugly fat quick? Try the new "Baby Blaster" from Ronco. $19.95, batteries not included.

What, me worry? said...

Things got heated at the obviously rigged tag-team wrestling match – pitting the notorious “Sultans of Sumo” against the underdog “Beijing Babies” – when one of the Babies grabbed the ref’s hair in a failed attempt to knee him in the face. The Babies went on to win the match on technicalities.

e-ho said...

George Clooney checks into eating disorder clinic after he accidentally devours one of Brangelina's kids.

Chip said...

Me not horny.

Jonathan said...

"Mmmmm! Babie...the other, other white meat! Get in mah belly!"

Submariner said...

One goat, one beaner and three Cuban hand-rolleds short of a Klinton Klassic...

radio free fred said...

First One To Fill The Diaper Wins.

Jonathan said...

The little tykes don't seem too eager to take up their uncle's chosen profession of sumo wrestling, do they?

Jonathan said...

"One down, one to go. Now hold still, Hideki, while I remove the OTHER tumor from your ear!"

Robert said...

Well what do you know, here's another baby stuck in my fat rolls.