Saturday, May 13, 2006

The Future's So Bright ...

1. "That should show the Great Satan who's nuts."

2. "Designer originals from the Kim Jong-il collection, new at Penney's."

3. ORA
Dog: Hey, would you take those f**king things off?
Boy: I never got to use night-vision.
Dog: They do not work during the day!
Boy: Yeah, they kinda work.

4. "These glasses, a solar eclipse, an estruating dog, a Pink Floyd double album, two hits of acid...life don't get no better than this!"

5. "These are the most powerful beer goggles known to man and you still look like a horse-faced piece of crap. Sorry, Sarah Jessica Parker."

6. Cruel things to do to a blind boy and his seeing eye dog.

7. "Over-accessorized? Girlfriend, I am a princess!"

8. "Damn, these X-ray specs really work. Now, to find some sheep."

Looted this Booty from the AssPress Pictorial Graveyard, Yarrrr....

25 comments:

prince of leaves said...

Young visionary Mikos was determined not to be blinded for a week by the next BVM apparition.

prince of leaves said...

"If we continue to destroy the ozone layer, even our goats will have to wear sunglasses."
-- Greenpeace scare campaign, circa 1984

Anonymous said...

That's not a dog, its a goat.

Rodney Dill said...

Web legends like the goat S3x man and tub girl have ta start somewhere.

What, me worry? said...

Although most of Michael Jackson’s dreams involving a young boy and farm animals were psychotically pornographic, here is one where the dream’s protagonist remains fully clothed.

During its heyday, Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch offered a variety of tactile experiences to the visiting young boys, ranging from the innocent (see insert) to the unmentionable.

What, me worry? said...

Hypnotized by High Priestess Nancy Pelosi’s Index Finger of Evil, young Billy prepares to offer a blood sacrifice to Satan.

What, me worry? said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
What, me worry? said...

Yellow journalist Michael Moore’s new movie, MY PET GOAT, loosely based on the story by the same name that President George Bush read to schoolchildren as the planes slammed into the WTC towers, was riddled with errors and inaccuracies. In this scene, the goat warns its owner of the evils of great right-wing conspiracy.

What, me worry? said...

PS92 went all out in this year’s school play, THE THREE BILLY GOATS GRUFF.

What, me worry? said...

The goat could tolerate the goggles and all the shrieking about the black helicopters, but he simply would not wear a tin foil hat.

Silhouette said...

Who's that behind those Foster Gra-ra-ra-ra-rants?

Silhouette said...

It's 106 miles to Chicago, I've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, a goat, it's midday and we're wearing sunglasses.

What, me worry? said...

An advid anti-Christ wanna-be, young Billy was prepping hard for the magicl date of 06/06/06.

The Man said...

A young Andrew Sullivan was never allowed to tend to the goats again.

The Man said...

Brokeback Mountain: Part 2
I finally found a way to quit ewe.

Rodney Dill said...

Max had never been considered normal and eventually the citizenry of the small community had him institutionalized because they couldn't abide by Unnatural Max With a Sheep.

Submariner said...

Here you go Heath. NOW will you show me what it means to be a "goat-roper?"

Submariner said...

I don't know nothin' 'bout no broke backs, but ben over and Billy'll show you "broke butt..."

Submariner said...

You mean this isn't Barbara Boxer? Well what did I have sex with then?

Submariner said...

On the next Montel:

Billy goats and the boys who love 'em...

Submariner said...

ORA?

Oh look, mommy; there's an airplane over'ead...

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sonicfrog said...

Unfortunately for Elian Gonzalez and his favorite ewe Fidel, Lasik techniques practiced in medically socialized Cuba are far behind those in the US. Thanks for nothing Janet Reno!

Rodney Dill said...

Timmy had hoped to prove to his pet goat ,Billy, that Barry Bonds really was on Staroids."

radio free fred said...

Goat Under Glass, We'll Eatin Good Now.