Thursday, May 11, 2006

Endlessly Entertaining Florida Politics

1. "Yeah, I totally fracked her brains out. How could you tell?"

2. "Maybe if you let her shower, she wouldn't be so smelly."

3. "If that helicopter leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your .... aw, crap. Cut! Penelope Cruz is spazzing again."

4. And then, a passing seagull dropped a load right in her eye.

5. "Something about, 'Your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well, they're no friends of mine.'"

6. "Looks like the Roophies are kicking in. Could you excuse us for, um, 10 minutes or so?"

7. "Great, Kathy, now, just rock your head from side to side and sing 'Isn't she lovely...'"

Courtesy: NRO

34 comments:

Godfrey said...

Rusty briefs Jeb Bush on his new PR strategy: combining cheerleading for W with simultaneous botox treatment.

AM42 said...

"If you think she's good, you should see the Asian prototype."

jeff said...

"Son, I told you that she couldn't take the champange."

"Gee, look at the sky! It's so blue! Have you ever seen a sky so blue!"
"Okay, no more 'medical' marijuana for her - give me the rest of the brownies."

jeff said...

"Did I do good in picking a girlfriend Dad?"
"Yep, she looks brainless, willing and good in a dress - you did great!"

AM42 said...

"Well, Mr. Gumb, your new girlfriend is a bit of an airhead, but I have to admit I've never seen such soft, supple skin on a woman. What's her secret?"

What, me worry? said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
What, me worry? said...

"Son, I know she's a little young for Botox, but Nancy Pelosi talked her into trying it. Now that's the natural pose for her face and arms, but it should wear off in three months or so".

Involuntarily breaking into dance while magically in sync with the crude drumbeats from the END SWEATS bongos far away are dead giveaways that you are a member of a lesbian cult.

Submariner said...

You see she's a really committed Druid and she just prayed to the Fertility Mother for Forida rain...

Submariner said...

Can the chopper make it a mile up? I dunno, why?

Submariner said...

Is Paula Abdul always this unintelligible?

Submariner said...

ORA:

Why is she singing "Day-o" in that wierd voice and dancing in that odd way?

Submariner said...

Sorry, son, but you can't use the chopper. W siad something about needing it, a case of Jiffy Pop and a couple of heifers. Not sure what for and I damn sure ain't gonna ask...

The Man said...

Heh. She keeps asking about Golden showers...

andthenblammo! said...

"Nice work on the Anita Bryant clone, Doctor; try to make sure the next one isn't deathly allergic to orange juice, huh?"

divine miss M said...

Reference that'll give V the K an MBR:

"Yes, Sir, further analysis reveals that...green bananas are falling from the sky! More drugs! More drugs!"

Jason said...

This is the United States of Rick James, bitch!

What, me worry? said...

"Son, I realize that it's a bit ironic that wearing a white dress is supposed to signify purity and virginity, but for goodness sakes shut up already"!

“Dad, don’t you think the constant references to her new boyfriend’s schlong are kind of vulgar”?

“She’s just a Wiccan neophyte, son. It requires all ten of her digits to do what the High Priestess Nancy Pelosi can with a simple flick of her index finger”.

What, me worry? said...

"Would you please stop the rain dance already? Precipitation is needed in Beijing, not here"!

Rodney Dill said...

"Not to worry, she's just praying to Allah that we will die like the infidel pigs that we are."

Rodney Dill said...

Still waiting for that Democratic Sh*t Storm.

Rodney Dill said...

"D*mn Orbit Gum!"

AM42 said...

"Yeah, she's been that way ever since that one-night-stand with Dick Cheney three years ago."

AM42 said...

"Penelope Cruz? No, that's Chuck Norris. He's been that way since he met Jack Bauer three years ago."

Rodney Dill said...

"She's practicing the innocent look for when I take Florida in the 2008 presidential race and Hillary demands to know how."

Submariner said...

Actually Jeb, she has a PhD in astrophysics. This is just her "Katie Holmes" impression.

Submariner said...

She's mute and just trying to explain to you the size of the horsecock we had in Cambodia...

Submariner said...

Jeb; "So how do you like the new Stepford 4.2 release?"
Rusty; "The solar power option is great here, but didn't work so hot up in Seattle."

Submariner said...

ORA?

♪ Who can turn the world on with her smile? ♪

David Simon said...

"Ms. Harris, why did you blow your $10,000,000 inheritance in a senate race you were sure to lose?" "Beats me." "Ms. Harris, who's buried in Grant's Tomb?" "Beats me." "Okay dad; it's your turn."

David Simon said...

"He just told me I shouldn't be wearing white before Memorial Day, Harold. And you still think he's straight? Hellooo?"

Submariner said...

She's been like that ever since the Green Party served those stuffed mushrooms...

bad-d-d-dude said...

Yea, I know she's kinda ditzy--singing songs from "Annie" all the way from Tallahassee. But she gave us Florida, and ultimately the White House, in 2000. What you gonna do?

Jonathan said...

"All I said to her was 'It will snow in hell before you beat Nelson in November, Katherine!'"

radio free fred said...

"Doesn't Take Much To Make Her Happy, Last Night I Let Her Smell The Wine Cork At Dinner And She Had A Orgasm."