Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Drugs and Lawn Equipment

1. After 'Tru-Green Chem Lawn' merged with 'Medieval Knights restaurants, Inc,' they found they had a lot of trouble synergizing their core competencies.

2. The Residents eventually gave up music and started a lawn care business.

3. The U.S. Border Patrol, as envisioned by the McCain-Kennedy Amnesty Bill.

4. OBR: Anus eventually did find out a way to quit Jake.

5. Thunderdome was never the same after Hank Hill overthrew Aunty Entity.

6. Johnny Knoxville and middle-age, not a pretty combination

7. The Travelocity gnome never knew what hit him.

8. How Nature says "Do Not Touch."

9. A curiously appropriate method for deciding who gets custody of the 'Star Trek: Voyager' DVD Collection.

10. Kang and Kodos performing a job Earthlings just won't do.

11. As more details emerge into exactly how V the K sprained his wrist on vacation, investigators are finding they have more questions than answers.

Best of David Simon .
"Hey Ms. Sheehan, we need someone to play Rachel Corrie."

Best of The Man .
Even in retirement, Jack Bauer seemed to always find himself in dangerous situations.

Best of What, me worry? .
Jake and Chester find a use for the unusual attachments that came with the John Deere purchased at Mistress Olga’s S&M Boutique and Farm Supply.

“How could you mistake a pull-type spin spreader with Residents eyeball masks, a sword and a morning star? Oh well…Charge”!

Best of Submariner .
Shaggy and Scooby took one look and decided they'd rather face the Cotton Candy Glob than the skele-thingies...

"Your retaining wall was built on my property, varlet. I wilt defend my property rights!"

"You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you possibly beat me?"

Best of prince of leaves .
Knights of the Short Bus.

Best of Rodney Dill .
Man I am so drunk

Best of Cybrludite .
Even sadder, they pass the authenticity requirements of some SCA chapters.

Best of Zeke .
Evil Alien Conquerors II, this time they can drive!

Best of Rodney Dill .
LawnMjollnir Man

29 comments:

David Simon said...

"Hey Ms. Sheehan, we need someone to play Rachel Corrie."

David Simon said...

"After I whoop your ass, Sullivan, I'm moving on to some real competition - your sister."

The Man said...

GWAR's influence on children has been troubling to say the least.

The Man said...

Even in retirement, Jack Bauer seemed to always find himself in dangerous situations.

What, me worry? said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
What, me worry? said...

Post-illegal American lawn care, per La Raza and other pro-immigration groups.

What, me worry? said...

Jake and Chester find a use for the unusual attachments that came with the John Deere purchased at Mistress Olga’s S&M Boutique and Farm Supply.

Angry at the ineffectiveness of their KEEP OFF THE GRASS signs, Jake and Chester look for new ways to keep the neighborhood kids off of their lawn.

“How could you mistake a pull-type spin spreader with Residents eyeball masks, a sword and a morning star? Oh well…Charge”!

Submariner said...

Shaggy and Scooby took one look and decided they'd rather face the Cotton Candy Glob than the skele-thingies...

sonicfrog said...

Drug and Lawn Enforcement.

prince of leaves said...

Knights of the Short Bus.

Rodney Dill said...

Brett Favre prepares for next year in the NFL (his mount would be the John Deere)

Rodney Dill said...

Why Mexicans want to immigrate to this country

Rodney Dill said...

Brokeback Lawnboy.

(Glad to see the OBR acronym made the bigtime in #4)

Rodney Dill said...

Man I am so drunk

Rodney Dill said...

Rodney decides to take on 'V the K' for not always posting "The Best of"

(OK we all know a lot of them don't actually deserve a "best of")

Cybrludite said...

Sad thing is, I probably know these guys...

Cybrludite said...

Even sadder, they pass the authenticity requirements of some SCA chapters.

Submariner said...

Hazard County Justice:
"Your retaining wall was built on my property, varlet. I wilt defend my property rights!"

Submariner said...

Heath and Jake decide who gets the left side of the pup-tent in the traditional manner.

Submariner said...

Karl Rove and Helen Thomas prepare to battle for White House "alpha male" bragging rights.

Rodney Dill said...

Remember the good ol' days when they used to make Jarts too?

Submariner said...

ORA:

"You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting. In what world could you possibly beat me?"

Van Helsing said...

I wondered what the Residents were up to these days.

Zeke said...

Evil Alien Conquerors II, this time they can drive!

Rodney Dill said...

LawnMjollnir Man

Submariner said...

"Oh yeah? Well your 'other car' is a llama."
Neighbors knew the lead-up to the back-yard joust was usually as much fun as the actual event, and lasted longer.

Rodney Dill said...

(Role playing Faus Pax)
Left: "On my mighty stead Sleipnir, I Odin will strike you down, in the battle of ragnorak."
Right: "Oh Yeah, well I'm a Lawnmower and your A$$ is grass."

Rodney Dill said...

"Think maybe we can get some gas for these next time?"

Cricket said...

Queer Eye for the Nunchuk Wielding Lawnmower Guy.

"I'll not only bludgeon your brains out with this thing, I will pop your eye off."