Friday, May 19, 2006

Did somebody say morbid obesity?

1. After the merger of McDonald's and Michelin Tires, they found they had difficulty synergizing their core competencies.

2. Andrew Sullivan had your site blogrolled for a while, but Kobe Bryant didn't appreciate your trying to squeeze humor out of offensive stereotypes about childhood obesity on Brokeback Mountain. Read their stories, educate yourselves, smelly pirate hookers ... This kid's so fat, his gravitational field has sucked in all our caption in-jokes.

3. "Dammit, Kyle, shut your gawddamm jew mouth and give me your fries."

4. Summer is here. Time to Michael-Jackson-proof your kids.

5. "I can't believe those bastards at Southwest Airlines made us buy an entire cargo hold."

6. Joey Chestnut. The Early Years.

Hat Tip: Mo

47 comments:

Zeke said...

"It's not a Tumor!"

Zeke said...

That's not a child that's an alien in an encounter suit. Notice the ball hinge elbows. gives it away every time

Zeke said...

The important thing to learn from this picture is despite it's Value menu, you can still raise better and more tender babyback ribs for an pig. Plus you don't have to dress the pig

Rodney Dill said...

"...then I says, what are you? Stupid? Of course, I want fries wi dat."

Rodney Dill said...

Super Size Me!

The Man said...

I'll have a Mcrib, 2 Big Macs, 2 orders of fries, and order of Mcnuggets, an apple pie, and a Large Diet Coke.

The Man said...

Michael Moore and Kristie Alley take Mikey Jr. out for lunch.

prince of leaves said...

The Lamarckian offspring of a scrotal inflator.

The Man said...

Tickets to the gun show anyone?

Silhouette said...

Great, mom. Now I'll never be able to fit into the sequinced shrug and tights.

Silhouette said...

ORA

After Hal was touched by Tony Robbins, his evil nephews looked different.

Rodney Dill said...

ORA
But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
(well maybe not that obsure)

sonicfrog said...

That's the most lifelike Cabbage Patch Doll I've ever seen!

Submariner said...

You gonna eat that?

Submariner said...

Hey, look at the bright side, mom. When I get to be a full growed sumo, you only have ta buy me diapers...

Submariner said...

V. - loved #2 ya magnificent bastidge, but you forgot to mention his Jack-o-Lantern jersy...

Submariner said...

Happily, Rosie and Mike al'Moore had learned that you could actually live forever at King's Table Buffet by simply pacing the feeding gorges. Don't ask how they managed to conceive Mikey Junior...

Submariner said...

and the ultra-obvious...

Hey ma, pull my finger?

Cybrludite said...

Super-Size Mini-Me!

Anonymous said...

"Billy and Bobby aren't fat, they're just retaining water...and six Big Macs™, ten extra-large fries, a dozen apple pies, and a hogshead of Coke™."

prince of leaves said...

[ah crap, that last one was me...preview seems to lose your name]

Racerboy said...

OBBR - Oblig Bugs Bunny Ref:
"Where's the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an Earth-Shattering Kaboom!"

OVR - Oblig Verification Ref:
My vilification word was "buobjebi" - the sound this kid makes on the big slide at the waterpark?

Rodney Dill said...

That's no moon...

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm lovin' it..."

attmay said...

When I grow up, I'm gonna be a leftist crockumentary filmmaker!

Rodney Dill said...

Australian for JUSTICE:
(Debra Messing's and Calista Flockhart's children)

divine miss M said...

"They used to call me 'Piggy'."

divine miss M said...

Brokenback Plastic Molded Bench

Robert said...

In Ghostbusters 2006, Dr. Ray Stantz accidently summons the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Kid.

Rodney Dill said...

"You tryin' ta give me a veggie burger? eject! eject! eject!"

Submariner said...

I feel a need, for feed.

Submariner said...

Hey Goose! That girl over there has "Lost That Lovin' Feeling."

Submariner said...

♪ Mama's, don't let your babies blow up to be sumos.♪
♪Let 'em be cowboys and doctors and such.♪
♪Don't let 'em weigh in as much as my truck...♪

Jonathan said...

"Mmmmmmmmm...Mayor McCheese! Get in mah belly!"

Jonathan said...

"Hey, Hideki! Check out that Mikie Moore guy's tray! Damn, are we amateurs or what??"

nevergrewup said...

"Forget the sitdown. I want him whacked. Do it on the playground during recess where everyone can see, even his mother. Nobody calls me fatass and gets a pass."

GOP & College said...

1) I'm not fat! I'm just big boned!

2) Hey dad, I think I lost a fry in one of my rolls.

Submariner said...

ORA?

Oh, you're gonna pay... Or else Pizza is gonna send out for you!

Submariner said...

Failed ad campaigns:

I used to have a problem with fried foods until I started taking one little purple pill a day...

Submariner said...

You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Let's see how well you handle it.

Submariner said...

ORA?

See, ... getting the McStomach ache. You start getting the McTummy. You get the McGurgles in there. You get the McBrick, then you get the McStomach ache. Right now I've got some McGas that's rockin'.

attmay said...

6-year-old José loved to go around bragging that he was the reincarnation of Nell Carter.

attmay said...

This rare animation cel from the short-lived Saturday morning cartoon Jim Henson's Michelin Man Babies goes for about 50,000 Mexican pesos (in US currency, a buck and a quarter).

Cricket said...

I am going to McHurl.

"Are you going to eat that?"

Submariner said...

Isn't that MY sequined vest?


verification word - twitz

Rodney Dill said...

I know what you're thinking: "Did he eat six Quarter-Pounders, or only five?" Well, to tell you the truth in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But, as pulling this finger, unleashes the most powerful flatuence in the world, that could blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya punk?

radio free fred said...

"Could I Get Some Ketchup For My Saturated Fat?"