1. ... Snore... hrmf... "Cokie, it's too damn big. Get the Wesson Oil"... Snore... hrmf...
2. "Heavenly Father, Let us lay out those shrieking bastards across the desert where their burned bodies can be picked over by ravens and jackals. Amen." Everybody loved it when Rumsfeld gave the opening prayer.
3. Whenever Mary Cheney saw dad slumped over asleep in front of the ball-game, she knew the coast was clear to take Susie into the Rec Room and make out.
4. Rumsfeld had been waiting years for this. "Get a bowl of warm water and put his hand in it. This is gonna be great!"
5. While Cheney sleeps off his noon "Lunch with Patrick Kennedy," Rumsfeld secretly fantasizes about bricking him up in a wall with a cask of Amontillado.
6. "Cheney's out. Should we strip him naked and tie him to the National Christmas Tree again?"
7. ... Snore... hrmf... "Yar! Avast and prepare to be 'boarded' me lovelies, yar"... Snore... hrmf...
8. "Let me guess, the Spice Channel ran another Honey Wilder marathon last night."
9. Bush looked down past the end of the table and saw exactly what he was looking for in a Border Security Czar.
10. No one was alarmed until Cheney began drooling and his drool began burning large holes in the floor.
Hat Tip: Don Moore
Credit: Getty Editiorial Images. Duh.