Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Can You Hear Me Now Roundeye?

1. "Hey, dude, I just robbed The Golden Girls I got Estelle Getty's camera, Rue McClanahan's shampoo, Betty White's cell phone, and Bea Arthur's bathrobe."

2. "Ignore the 'Hello Kitty' keychain. I am butch, I tell you, B-U-T-C-H."

3. "Sequins! that's what this outfit is missing!"

4. In a rejected Sprint PCS commercial, Hideki mishears "Walk the Dog," as "Wok the Dog."

5. The illegitimate child of George Takei and Bea Arthur seeks his birth parents.

6. Hiroshi didn't care what anybody said. He thought 'Domo Arigato Mr. Roboto' was a cool ringtone.

7. "Yeah, mama-san, we just wrapped up the pep rally at cram school. Some idiot freshmen dressed up like geishas, so we went samurai on their asses. So, rice for dinner, again?"

8. "Dad was dishonored at work and committed suicide? I suppose this means you want me to pick up the tofu and soy sauce on my way home."

Best of Rodney Dill
Somewhere there's a smelly pirate hooker in a Red Roof Inn room that has no drapes.

"Man, Taylor Hicks just has to win."

"Why the Herr do they even put an "L" on the 5 key."

Best of The Man
"Who? Jack Bauer? Never heard of him, you must have the wrong number"

Best of Submariner
Mr. Blutarsky goes to Chinatown.

"Made in USA; What the hell?"

Best of Zeke
OH..MY..GAWD..if I loose my bid on ebay for those shoes I'm so going to go postal on the train tonight.

Lets see hit "send, send *1" wait and input my code. oh crappypoo i think i just erased my strawberry shortcake screen savers.

Best of What, me worry?
Not the sharpest sushi knife in the drawer, Kumu scrolls through the multitude of options on his new Motorola RAZR cell phone, trying to figure out how to shave with it.

Late for his “date” and in need of a belt, Kumu is forced to wear ten feet of outdated brown vinyl base molding.

Best of sonicfrog
I never new technology could be ... so... Delicious!!!

Best of divine miss M
New on TLC: "Samurai Decorator."

Hat tip: Timmeh!

29 comments:

Submariner said...

Calgon, take me away...

Submariner said...

Herro, Mustang Lanch? Prease to send stout, smerry pilot hookew to ereven oh one Nipon Way... Yes, it wirr be on Visa.

Rodney Dill said...

"Hmmm... now all I need to order is some goggles and a goat."

Rodney Dill said...

Somewhere there's a smelly pirate hooker in a Red Roof Inn room that has no drapes.

Rodney Dill said...

So I asks Yoshi, 'Do ya always walk around the neighborhood in a robe that looks like my bedroom curtains?' and he says, 'only when you come home early."

Rodney Dill said...

"Man, Taylor Hicks just has to win."

Rodney Dill said...

"Why the Herr do they even put an "L" on the 5 key."

Submariner said...

♪Ronery, I'm mister ronery. I wish I had someone, to carr my own...♪

Submariner said...

You can get porn flicks directly on your phone? What a country!

Submariner said...

7-11... 7-11... Serring me a bottre of Phisohex© as a spolts dlink...

The Man said...

"Who? Jack Bauer? Never heard of him, you must have the wrong number"

Submariner said...

Mr. Blutarsky goes to Chinatown.

Zeke said...

OH..MY..GAWD..if I loose my bid on ebay for those shoes I'm so going to go postal on the train tonight.

Zeke said...

Lets see hit "send, send *1" wait and input my code. oh crappypoo i think i just erased my strawberry shortcake screen savers.

Zeke said...

Why does Kiki keep asking if i'm gay?

Submariner said...

Evely year at the Sumo tlyouts it's the same ord song - "Come back when you've put on a few pounds, Hideki" I'm so deplessed...

Submariner said...

ORA:

Sloth love Chunk.

Rodney Dill said...

"I wander what totoro will do next?"

champaignken said...

Does this kimono make me look fat?

champaignken said...

"I hope I am not going to be rate to the sumo baby eating contest."

Rosie O'Donnel receives the dreaded phone call from Barbara Walters after getting her hair cut, violating her new "View" contract.

What, me worry? said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
What, me worry? said...

Tough as nails, Kumu would sometimes dress and act like a sissy in the hopes that someone pick a fight with him.

Not the sharpest sushi knife in the drawer, Kumu scrolls through the multitude of options on his new Motorola RAZR cell phone, trying to figure out how to shave with it.

Submariner said...

Matsuki's thought bubble: "Made in USA; What the hell?"

sonicfrog said...

I never new technology could be ... so... Delicious!!!

Submariner said...

No, Yuri; I said I got you a new Razor, not a "gay blade..."

Submariner said...

♪ It seems I'm turning Japanese, I'm really turning Japanese - I really think so. ♪

Rodney Dill said...

"I ate that?"

What, me worry? said...

Five seconds before he stepped in front of a speeding bus, Kumu was infatuated to the point of distraction with his brand new MOTOROLA L7 SLVR QUAD GSM BLUETOOTH VIDEO CAM cell phone.

“Barney Frank is calling again? What a horny b@st@rd”.

Late for his “date” and in need of a belt, Kumu is forced to wear ten feet of outdated brown vinyl base molding.

divine miss M said...

Recently unearthed in the SNL vault: "Samurai Decorator."