1. "My idea of a perfect date? Lay in an inflatable raft playing with a Game Boy. Know anybody? like that?"
2. "I am naughty. Naughty am I."
3. "Bill, Hill... there's no need to fight over me. I find you both repugnant."
4. "Really... every picture ever taken of me... with a telephoto lens? I need to leave now."
5. "Sorry to disappoint you, but I'm not the chick from 'That 70's Show.'"
Best of Son Of The Godfather
In college, I had girls like this beating on my door every day... I eventually had to let them out.
Let me guess... her "turn-ons" include: Lots of sex, video-games, pizza, and guys who spend an inordinate amount of time writing captions.
Well crap... how can a picture yell "Hey! My eyes are up here!"?
“Two spaghetti straps away from needing some extended me time in the bathroom."
Best of Capt. queeg
Assuming those are 5-pounders with a spaghetti strap diameter of 0.10 inch, the stress on each works out to about 635 psi. I conclude, therefore that they are kevlar, though I hope they are wet kite string.
Best of The Man
I went to my OBGYN and a group of short Koreans came in.
Best of What, me worry?
"Pardon me while I scratch my taut, nubile and perfect behind. I’ve been irregular ever since the illegals quit making burritos”.
Best of Submariner
Sorry, can't talk now - I'm on my way to an interview for a French Newscaster position. Think I'm overdressed?
Lifted mercilessly from Sondrak the K.