1. "Unfortunately, the peaceful town was located in a valley below a highly unstable dam. Bwah-ha-ha-ha."
2. "Cruel, yes. But cheaper than spaying."
3. Bored with married life, Mrs. Narcissus builds a koi pond.
4. "Guess you weren't a witch after all. Sorry, Sis."
5. "A piranha pond bordered with catnip. Zoey, you're a genius."
Best of prince of leaves
Susan Smith learns a marketable skill while in prison.
This water smells funny. And what's this? An ankle?
Best of Critical Matt
The Liliputians never had a chance once Chloe was let loose.
Best of White Knight
Hmmmm...cold beer and magic "shrooms" all from the same pond!
Best of nevergrewup
"Look my turd still floats, and not a kernal of corn missing, even after going over the waterfall."
Best of Fish-Lips
The wife every man craves but is afraid to admit to - a purveyor of botanical-zoological products... everything from mildly deranging mushrooms to wildly hallucinogenic live toads sold in breeding pairs.
Best of Jason
Sure, it looks clean there. But they don't show you the people pooping just upstream.
Rock garden my ass. These things haven't grown no matter how much I've watered them.
Best of Cybrludite
Hmmn, the bubbles haven't stopped. I guess I'll have to hold Kos' head under a bit longer...
Best of Submariner
Teddy sent Mary Jo to check the depth of water at the Chappaquiddick Bridge the day before the "accident."
Best of Anonymous
Lileks finally gets his water feature working.
Best of radio free fred
Branch Water And Bourbon , Ted Kennedy Must Be Stopping By?
The Usual Source of Americana.