Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Tron, Is That You?

1. Finally, a use of some sort for Dick Cheney's discarded condoms.

2. Must... not... look... at... bulge...

3. When dating Sharon Stone, may we recommend a full body condom

4. "Laugh all you want. You won't be laughing when my boyfriend picks me up in his Mini-Jabba-the-Hutt-Land-Yacht

5. The insurgents laughed themselves silly during field trials of the new full body armor.

6. The Sci-Fi Channel Execs looked at each other nervously. "A weekly series based on Tron might work, but not with Michael Jeter in the lead."

7. When invited to Andrew Sullivan's house for the weekend, may we recommend...

8. "Mom! This NAMBLA Night Lite is freaking me out."

9. Unsurprisingly, the "Bug-Zapper Suit" did not make it to the final round of American Inventor.

10. "Note to self: Build a fly into the next suit."


Best of Rodney Dill

I'm just a sweet TRONsvestite...


Jimbo Tron, lesser known brother of Jumbo.

On the plus side, every time I go near Dick Cheney his pacemaker goes into overdrive.

"My Capacitor was charged but her resistor was to large for me."

"Are you ready for body cavity search now Congresswoman McKinney?"

Best of The Man
Does this hat make me look stupid?

How to embarrass your kid #1423 -Show up to parent/teacher conference in tight Tron outfit.

Best of Van Helsing
For a moment I thought George Galloway had found his way onto another reality show.

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"This will teach Lumberg not to take my stapler again!", mumbled Milton.

Best of Submariner
Unsure whether the front deciphered as "Muhammed" or was a stylized representation of a Dairy Queen, Mullah Abdul simply issued a kill fatwah.

Holy shnikees! He's got the whole Stealth fighter/bomber attack plan on his chest! Security lock down - NOW.

Barney Frank's children's program was quickly turned down by all networks, even PBS.

Inspired by Submariner
♫The Latex Fetishist is a person in your neighborhood, in your neighborhood... ♫

Best of Mr. Right
Reason number one George Lucas turned down Joel Schumacher as director of the most recent Star Wars films: Bulges on the new "stormtroops of love"!

The Blue Fairy grants Artoo Detoo's wish to become a real boy --- a wish he promptly regrets!

Best of WALSTIB
ding-dong... Package for you....

Best of Chip
The new Swiss Guard uniforms were both functional and, frankly, more macho than the old ones.

Best of Jason
Not pictured: Dignity



Timmeh! sent this. I don't know where he got it. I don't want to know.

46 comments:

attmay said...

Disney lawyers were going to sue the guy for trademark infringement, but they pitied him enough already.

Robert said...

Charlie gets ready for Dork Fest 2006!

Robert said...

Constantly adding new features has been know to lead to code bloat.

jeff said...

The Hubble Space Telescope would always be disappointed to be the second nearsighted geek toy.

"I'm gonna put all them Stormtrooper wusses to shame!"

Spandex Bodysuit: $50
Bicycle helmet: $30
Blue tape: $10
Forgetting to
put a zipper in: Priceless

Rodney Dill said...


I'm just a sweet TRONsvestite...

The Man said...

Does this hat make me look stupid?

The Man said...

How to embarrass your kid #1423
-Show up to parent/teacher conference in tight Tron outfit.

Rodney Dill said...

Jimbo Tron, lesser known brother of Jumbo.

Rodney Dill said...

"So Fred where to you keep your wallet? Uh, never mind."

Rodney Dill said...

On the plus side, every time I go near Dick Cheney his pacemaker goes into overdrive.

Rodney Dill said...

"Honest, I didn't know Rep. Cynthia McKinney was a congresswoman."

Rodney Dill said...

Classifieds: Single White Male Connector seeks Female Connector for electrical discharge.

Rodney Dill said...

"My Capacitor was charged but her resistor was to large for me."

Rodney Dill said...

"Are you ready for body cavity search now Congresswoman McKinney?"

Rodney Dill said...

Still beats being a Lumberjack.

Van Helsing said...

For a moment I thought George Galloway had found his way onto another reality show.

ThatGayConservative said...

"Does this make me look fat?"
"Nah. Just stupid".

Jonathan said...

Melvin decided to go to the Hackers Anonymous Halloween party as a motherboard.

Jonathan said...

"This will teach Lumberg not to take my stapler again!", mumbled Milton.

Submariner said...

Unsure whether the front deciphered as "Muhammed" or was a stylized representation of a Dairy Queen, Mullah Abdul simply issued a kill fatwah.

Submariner said...

I bet his suit glows in the dark... any takers? Anyone? Anyone? Beuhler?

Submariner said...

Holy shnikees! He's got the whole Stealth fighter/bomber attack plan on his chest! Security lock down - NOW.

Submariner said...

Prough91! Where ya been?

prince of leaves said...

Bob wasn't nearly as disappointed as his mother/landlady when Queer Eye rejected her plea to help him out with his fashion choices.

pandora said...

I'm not wearing any underwear.
I should have never taken that bet

Mr. Right said...

MISSING: REWARD...

SON OF THE GODFATHER

PROUGH91

APPROACH WITH CAUTION, MAY BE ARMED WITH RAPIER WIT AND READY TO STRIKE WITHOUT WARNING...

IF FOUND, PLEASE RETURN TO CUSTODY OF V THE K IMMEDIATELY. THAT IS ALL...

Mr. Right said...

Reason number one George Lucas turned down Joel Schumacher as director of the most recent Star Wars films: Bulges on the new "stormtroops of love"!

Mr. Right said...

The Blue Fairy grants Artoo Detoo's wish to become a real boy --- a wish he promptly regrets!

Rodney Dill said...

In the Futuristic remake of Pinocchio it wasn't the nose that got longer when he lied.

WALSTIB said...

ding-dong...
Package for you....

radio free fred said...

"French Sewage Workers Will Not Protest."

T. Harris said...

"Honey, I'm just runnin' down to the store for a minute. Need anything?"

T. Harris said...

The accidental exposure to radiation led to massive molecular mutation and the creation of Dork Man. Though saddled with a miniscule package, Dork Man had one amazing superpower: keeping a straight face when looking in the mirror.

attmay said...

The guy who played Dr. Bombay on "Bewitched" stars in "Tron! The Musical", opening (and closing) soon on Broadway.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Q's draft blueprint for a replicant left much to be desired...

Submariner said...

To infinity, and beyond! (Crap; forgot my wings...)

Submariner said...

Barney Frank's children's program was quickly turned down by all networks, even PBS.

sonicfrog said...

Is their any better example that proves the world would be a better place if all geeks died young... same goes for hippies!!!

Dusty said...

Duke University is recruiting a whole new Lacrosse team.

Submariner said...

Oh, look, children. My neighbor, Mr. Paddy File is paying us a visit today. Welcome Paddy!

WALSTIB said...

"OK, did you take the picture? Can I breathe now?"

Chip said...

That looks like the guy who taught me the law of evidence. Really.

Chip said...

We'll accept him as an expert, but questioning must be limited to Planet Quazeep.

Chip said...

The new Swiss Guard uniforms were both functional and, frankly, more macho than the old ones.

Fish-Lips said...

A tip for budding superheroes - your obsession with lycra is NOT healthy.

Jason said...

Not pictured: Dignity