1. Early tests of the missile defense laser system were not successful.
2. Barbara Mikulski is returned to pasture after a much-needed anal probe.
3. Bessie walks toward the light as the rest of her is ground into low-grade Happy Meal patties.
4. "Now we know their weakness. Tell the world how to bring those bastards down."
5. Unfortunately, after clearing the moon, the cow burned up on re-entry.
Best of JAINPHX
Hillery saw her signal and sprang into action. Thank God for super heros!
Best of Anonymous (Prince of Leaves)
Milk -- It does a bodysnatcher good.
Best of Rodney Dill
Elsie was successfully retrieved from the backward planet by employing the Tractor beam.
As a Quantum Physicist, Elsie was outstanding in her field.
Best of Lyn
"Look, if the transmission we picked up keeps insisting 'Don't have a cow' then they must be hiding something."
Best of Divine Miss M
Note to self: Next time, don't eat Ben & Jerry's until after I've peaked.
Best of Submariner
In space, no one can hear you "moo."
Hillary Clinton meets Steven Spielburg...
Best of sonicfrog
Hmmm. Turns out that naming our galaxy "The Milky Way" was no mere coincidence.
Best of bad-d-d-dude
"I see...a bad moo on the rise"
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
The Martians decided to ignore Bessie's advice to "Eat Mor Chikin!"
Best of T. Harris
Unfortunately for cows throughout the universe, alien spacecraft are powered by methane gas.