Saturday, April 15, 2006

Rising Cow

1. Early tests of the missile defense laser system were not successful.

2. Barbara Mikulski is returned to pasture after a much-needed anal probe.

3. Bessie walks toward the light as the rest of her is ground into low-grade Happy Meal patties.

4. "Now we know their weakness. Tell the world how to bring those bastards down."

5. Unfortunately, after clearing the moon, the cow burned up on re-entry.

Source: Cowabduction-dot-com

Best of JAINPHX
Hillery saw her signal and sprang into action. Thank God for super heros!

Best of Anonymous (Prince of Leaves)
Milk -- It does a bodysnatcher good.

Best of Rodney Dill
Elsie was successfully retrieved from the backward planet by employing the Tractor beam.

As a Quantum Physicist, Elsie was outstanding in her field.

Best of Lyn
"Look, if the transmission we picked up keeps insisting 'Don't have a cow' then they must be hiding something."

Best of Divine Miss M
Note to self: Next time, don't eat Ben & Jerry's until after I've peaked.

Best of Submariner
In space, no one can hear you "moo."

Hillary Clinton meets Steven Spielburg...

Best of sonicfrog
Hmmm. Turns out that naming our galaxy "The Milky Way" was no mere coincidence.

Best of bad-d-d-dude
"I see...a bad moo on the rise"

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
The Martians decided to ignore Bessie's advice to "Eat Mor Chikin!"

Best of T. Harris
Unfortunately for cows throughout the universe, alien spacecraft are powered by methane gas.

30 comments:

JAINPHX said...

Hillery saw her signal and sprang into action,thank God for super heros

Zeke said...

Scotty's early years in the Federation Academy were marred when his first engineering prank sent over 10,000 cattle hurtling into downtown Quebec. However much was forgiven after it was discovered that it had caused the last 1000 french canadians to immigrate back to france where they were immediately burned by French Arabs desperate to keep their jobs from falling into "the wrong hands"

Zeke said...

In 2006 the cow cults returned.

Zeke said...

Gozer the Traveler. He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!

Dusty said...

Commander Xcmirritl, I am happy to report that based upon the descriptive data provided by our intellegence, we are just completing the capture of the junior Senator from the State of New York, USA, Earth.

Rodney Dill said...

Elsie was successfully retrieved from the backward planet by employing the Tractor beam.

Rodney Dill said...

As a Quantum Physicist, Elsie was outstanding in her field.

divine miss M said...

Note to self: next time, don't eat Ben & Jerry's until after I've peaked.

Anonymous said...

Rejected movie poster for A Fire in the Sky.

Anonymous said...

Milk -- It does a bodysnatcher good.

prince of leaves said...

[oops -- those two anonymous caps were mine.]

Lyn said...

Udderly ridiculous.

Lyn said...

Mooove that spacecraft.

Lyn said...

"Look, if the transmission we picked up keeps insisting 'Don't have a cow' then they must be hiding something."

Arcticman Speaks! said...

It's now a dark and silent evening. After making animal-like love to Vince, Hillary noisily washed her privates try- ing to freshen'-up by the campfire. Later, she removes a Q-Tip and exlaims, "Vince!, there was a FUCKING HOLSTIEN in my ear!"

The Man said...

Got Milk?

The Man said...

Just as Andrew Sullivan hacked into the matrix, his mother walked in and ruined the whole thing. Now his dream of abducting a cow and then having sex with Eric Estrada will never happen.

sonicfrog said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
sonicfrog said...

Hmmm. Turns out that naming our galaxy "The Milky Way" was no mere coincidence. Aliens have been using it to breed, store, and propagate their livestock for a million years or more.

sonicfrog said...

And the big cow abduction secret is...

They're used as fuel! Why else would an advanced alien race steal cows!!!

As for us human? Hey, aliens get bored too!

bad-d-d-dude said...

"I see...a bad moo on the rise"

radio free fred said...

Never Before Seen Picture Of The Milky-way.

Rodney Dill said...

Darth Elsie actually did the Kessel run in 6 parsecs.

Submariner said...

Hillary Clinton meets Steven Spielburg...

Submariner said...

In space, no one can hear you "moo."

Submariner said...

I remember that Christmas Eve I spent at Antares 6 back in '68; it's seared, seared in my memory...

Submariner said...

ORA?

Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz!

Submariner said...

ORA:

Bio-readouts are all in the green, looks like she's alive.

Jonathan said...

The Martians decided to ignore Bessie's advice to "Eat Mor Chikin!"

T. Harris said...

Unfortunately for cows throughout the universe, alien spacecraft are powered by methane gas.