Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Laura Bush, Still Searching for the Lion and the Wardrobe

1. "I buried most of the people who knew about Whitewater over there. It's said that on a cold autumn night, you can hear them screaming."

2. Hillary recalls Bill's first words to her, "Hey good looking, we'll be back to pick you up later!" called through a car radio via a Mr. Microphone.

3. "Laura, have you seen that show Prison Break, where the villain is a female politician who wants to be president and she's involved in shady campaign finance deals and now has to kill everyone who gets in her way? Where do they come up with such crazy ideas?"

4. I'd say Laura is clearly a Blood while Hillary is an O-Town Crip.

5. "Laura, I know we've had our differences, but the truth is... you make me wet. You really do."

6. "Just how open to experimentation are Barb and Jenna?"

7. "Whore!" "Harridan!" "Stepford Wife!" "Emasculating Bull-Dyke!" "Bitch!" "Kennedy Lover!" "Hey! Now, that's below the belt."

8. "... and when you're not looking, I'm going to punch you right in the ovaries."

9. "Look at all those rough, dark, sinewy men swarming over the border. Hill, are you thinking what I'm thinking." "Yeah, let's sign 'em up for welfare and get 'em registered to vote."

10. "Yoo, hoo. Sailor Boy. Me Love You Long Time. Thirty Dollar."

Best of jeff
"Okay Laura, use your super-stretching powers to grab that photographer right there!"

Best of Submariner
The bidding for the hit-man's services was over once Laura upped it to 5 big one's...

Best of bad-d-d-dude
"Cynthia, of course we recognize ya', girlfriend. Love the new doo. Now put that cell phone down."

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Laura hasn't quite figured out the "pull my finger" game.

Laura is determined to show Hillary the proper stiff-arm technique.

Best of David Simon
"Uh, that's okay Sharon, I saw it in the first basic instinct."

Best of ThatGayConservative
And over there, Laura, is the containment unit where I store the souls of children. That's what keeps me looking so young.

Best of jbinnout
ROCK ...PAPER ...SCISSORS...: Hillary instinctively tries to cheat by doing half scissors, half rock...

Best of T. Harris
Beauty and the Hildebeast.

Hillary: "I thought you were dea...I mean, hey, Craig Livingston, how ya been, buddy?

Best of David Simon
"Oh, so that's how you tell Marlee Matlin to sit on your face. You weren't even close Laura, but you're a doll for trying to help me out."



Hat tip: Mo

28 comments:

radio free fred said...

-Fire And Ice-

Lyn said...

Hillary, to cast a spell you have to wiggle your nose like this.

Lyn said...

Oops, I meant "Laura"

Lyn said...

Can I ask you a question?
Sure.
Pull my finger.
That's not a question.
Will you pull my finger?

Silhouette said...

Laura, how many times are you going to bathe after this photo op?

Lyn said...

HC: You want a dollar for that?
LB: I'll give you five!

Robert said...

Teresa Heinz-Kerry finds out her husband didn't win the election from Mrs. Bush and Hillary.

LB: Everyone who's a first lady, take one step forward. Not so fast Ms. Heinz-Kerry!

HC: Oooh burn!

jeff said...

Due to some scheduling confusion, Laura thought they were singing, "Stop in the name of Love," while Hillary was doing, "Wait a minute Mr. Postman."

"Okay Laura, use your super-stretching powers to grab that photographer right there!"

The Hillary and Laura puppets at the Smithsonian "First Ladies" exhibition were a hit.

Rodney Dill said...

Hillary: "Who invited her..."
Laura: "Oh, Hi Monica, glad you could come."

Rodney Dill said...

The surprise return of Vince Foster.

Submariner said...

The bidding for the hit-man's services was over once Laura upped it to 5 big one's...

bad-d-d-dude said...

"Cynthia, of course we recognize ya', girlfriend. Love the new doo. Now put that cell phone down."

Submariner said...

Look, Laura; broccolli! How many do you want for W.?

Jonathan said...

Laura hasn't quite figured out the "pull my finger" game.

Jonathan said...

Laura is determined to show Hillary the proper stiff-arm technique.

Molicious said...

Thanks for the props, dude.

Unfortunately, I couldn't come up with a caption for this pic. It's too funny by itself.

David Simon said...

"Uh, that's okay Sharon, I saw it in the first basic instinct."

"Mr. Thick One is at home Sharon, but this finger has always worked for me in a pinch."

ThatGayConservative said...

And over there, Laura, is the containment unit where I store the souls of children. That's what keeps me looking so young.

prince of leaves said...

Sen. Hutchison would later regret trying to throw Sen. Clinton off with a playful goose, when the unwelcome phonecalls, gifts, and inappropriate touching pushed her to seek a restraining order against the former First Lady.

prince of leaves said...

They tried, but neither the Senator nor the First Lady could out-gesture Donald Rumsfeld, Master of the Kung Fu News Conference.

jbinnout said...

ROCK ...PAPER ...SCISSORS...

Hillary tries to cheat by doing half scissors, half rock...

T. Harris said...

Beauty and the Hildebeast.

T. Harris said...

Although Both First Ladies were astonished to see Barney Frank pop out of the cake wearing only a thong, their reactions a second later were quite different. Laura tried to control her gagging while Hillary, suddenly flushed and very wet, buckled at the knees.

T. Harris said...

Hillary: "I thought you were dea...I mean, hey, Craig Livingston, how ya been, buddy?

David Simon said...

"Laura, look at the pathetic old man hitting on a girl half his age. And she isn't even attractive."

"That's your husband, Hill."

radio free fred said...

"Alice And Trixie Are Ready To Go To The Moon."

David Simon said...

"Oh, so that's how you tell Marlee Matlin to sit on your face. You weren't even close Laura, but you're a doll for trying to help me out."

Jonathan said...

If not for Laura Bush in the picture, this would be BEGGING for a Smelly Pirate Hooker reference!