Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Jared Loses It



Hat Tip: CJ

Top Questions To Ask Yourself Before Buying Burger King's New Meat'Normous Sandwich.

1. How dangerous is four-digit cholesterol?

2. Am I comfortable using the word "meat'normous?"

3. Do I have $3.49 and a death wish?

4. Is that bigger than meat'gantic?

5. Does a massive coronary qualify as "having it my way?"

6. Is this gonna spoil my breakfast dessert?

7. Should I ask my doctor about Lipitor?

8. Why do I have to sign a waiver?

9. Can I get it with egg whites?

10. Did Cheney like it?

Best of Dwight the troubled Teen:
"Why the third world hates us." - Exhibit One

Best of attmay:
Is this guy gunning for Garfield the cat's job?

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell:
Andrew Sullivan was enraged upon learning that the picture of "lots of meat, brown rings, a large thumb, and sauce on the mouth" wasn't quite what he had envisioned.

Best of rodney dill:
"Dang it, I said I wanted a Diet Pepsi with this."

Best of Submariner:
Andrew Sullivan took one look at the picture and said; "I know just where to put that thumb, and I have just the thing to plug that pie-hole..."

Here at the Colon-Blow Cafe, we pride ourselves on meeting 100% of the RDA for roughage in every sandwhich.

Best of David Simon:
"I agree that a slacker slob isn't an ideal choice for our new spokesman, but he sure beats the tar out of that effeminate pedophile we used to have," explained Pepsi's CEO.

Best of (the always original) catbat:
"man, look at the way the light from the new sandwich bar reflects off my unicorn figurine collection. thumbs up."

Best of andthenblammo!:
Better keep that thumb handy, Junior, for when those onion rings start echoing along Mr. Large Intestine......

Best of cyberludite:
Hey, how'd this guy end up with my breakfast? (And what's lettuce doing on there?)

Best of T. Harris:
After cutting the kid out of view, Michael Moore had a new favorite whack-off pic.

30 comments:

attmay said...

Is this guy gunning for Garfield the cat's job?

Dwight The Troubled Teen said...

"Why the third world hates us." - Exhibit One

Zeke said...

Jared's mother often hid his medicine in his food, though her husband sometimes questioned her methods.

Jonathan said...

Andrew Sullivan was enraged upon learning that the picture of "lots of meat, brown rings, a large thumb, and sauce on the mouth" wasn't quite what he had envisioned.

Rodney Dill said...

"Dang it, I said I wanted a Diet Pepsi with this."

Rodney Dill said...

How Andrew Sullivan keeps his girlish figure

Rodney Dill said...

"You want fries with that?"

Rodney Dill said...

Scooby doo

The Man said...

Should I have gone for the Diet Pepsi?

The Man said...

Dude, where is the olives? I ordered olives!

Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan took one look at the picture and said; "I know just where to put that thumb, and I have just the thing to plug that pie-hole..."

Submariner said...

Spiccoli looked up; "But you only said I couldn't order in-class pizza delivery anymore. This ain't pizza, teacher-dude!"

jeff said...

"Dagwood Bumstead is a wimp!"

"Dear Sir,
Subway Restaurants appreciates your suggestion for a new menu item, however we will not be offering it at this time.
Please do not submit any more suggestions."

Submariner said...

This isn't lunch, it's my science project - Mount Meat'Normous, volcano of death. Just a second and I'll hook up the 'warm pepsi erupting magma.' (This soooo cool!)

Silhouettte said...

TV.com is your reference guide to The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis episode The Big Sandwich

http://www.tv.com/many-loves-of-dobie-gillis/the-big-sandwich/episode/9128/summary.html

sonicfrog said...

Oklahoma! Oklahoma! Oklahoma!

sonicfrog said...

Looks like Carl's Jr's launching a new sandwich, the $6 hoagie.

sonicfrog said...

Dude! You're F'ed up! You have GOT to lay off the Pepsi!

David Simon said...

"I agree that a slacker slob isn't an ideal choice for our new spokesman, but he sure beats the tar out of that effeminate pedophile we used to have," explained Pepsi's CEO.

David Simon said...

"Okay sis, now it's time for the pearl necklace."

(the always original) catbat said...

"man, look at the way the light from the new sandwich bar reflects off my unicorn figurine collection. thumbs up."

Critical Matt said...

I'd have ordered a Diet Pepsi with that...

Silhouette said...

Gesundheit

andthenblammo! said...

Better keep that thumb handy, Junior, for when those onion rings start echoing along Mr. Large Intestine......

prince of leaves said...

"That's a lotta muffelatta!!!"

Little Miss Chatterbox said...

Hey--I missed your ti-vo blogging this week on 24 :)!!

Cybrludite said...

Hey, how'd this guy end up with my breakfast? (And what's lettuce doing on there?)

Submariner said...

Here at the Colon-Blow Cafe, we pride ourselves on meeting 100% of the RDA for roughage in every sandwhich.

Submariner said...

hmmmmmm, I didn't know that Pepsid© had come out in a liquid form... (but that certainly has all the markings of a successful ad campaign.)

T. Harris said...

After cutting the kid out of view, Michael Moore had a new favorite whack-off pic.