Wednesday, April 12, 2006

How About a Little KISS

1. "As soon as the goat arrives, the world's bizarrest orgy may commence."

2. Still not as creepy as the all midget GWAR cover band.

3. They can rock and roll all night and party every day, but you have to bring the booster chair.

4. Yes, sex, drugs, and rock and roll will stunt your growth and in extreme cases, even reverse it.

5. Despite creative marketing, the sport of dwarf-tossing still did not enjoy a revival.

6. The Ozfest Tour lowers its standards.

7. Paul Stanley followed Michael Jackson's example in hiding his children's identities from the public.

8. When they guys in the chat room swore they were "14 inches," Lolita and Tanqueray had expected something completely different.

Best of Submariner
"Send your girl a little Kiss on Feb. 14th." Worst.Marketing.Campaign.Ever.

Best of The Man
You must be this tall to cover KISS songs.

Best of jeff
Man, I knew I'd get flashbacks from the LSD in the 70s... but this is too weird, man.

Dwarf KISS - making people who dress up for Sci-Fi conventions look normal.

Best of Rodney Dill
After one fan said, "Throw me a Kiss," Dwarf tossing was reinvented all over again.

Best of catbat
miniature 80s rock bands for rent weekly or daily, you say? sure, i'll take tiny warrant up through tuesday, please.

Best of Cybrludite
We represent the Rohypnol Guild, the Rohypnol Guild, the Rohypnol Guild...

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"And now, the 'E! True Hollywood Story: Where Are They Now?' follows up with the original Jawa actors from Star Wars. As you can see, 19 years of not being able to capitalize off of their silver screen stardom took its toll...but they finally found gainful employment!"

Best of Divine miss M
Halloween is always a memorable day for Mr. Wilson's third grade special-ed class.

Best of attmay
During the Oompa Loompa strike of '76, Willy Wonka hired scabs such as these to work his chocolate factory.

Best of ThatGayConservative
NO! We need mini Pink Floyd for this production of Dark Side of the Rainbow

Best of Lyn
"In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing..."

21 comments:

Submariner said...

"Send your girl a little Kiss on Feb. 14th."
Worst.Marketing.Campaign.Ever.

Submariner said...

Muppet Babies® was bad enough, but the premier of Old Rocker Babies was just plain sad...

attmay said...

The KISS Army, Munchkinland regiment.

The Man said...

You must be this tall to cover KISS songs.

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan would find himself on his knees many more times during his summer as a roadie for the Midget KISS band.

jeff said...

After dwarf tossing fell out of Vogue, the guys gave "Dwarf Cover Bands" a try.

According to a statement made by the band: "After that episode of American Idol, we couldn't keep being "Dwarf Queen." Dwarf KISS let us keep the hair.

Man, I knew I'd get flashbacks from the LSD in the 70s... but this is too weird, man.

Dwarf KISS - making people who dress up for Sci-Fi conventions look normal.

Rodney Dill said...

The parody band was named KISS IT by the female groupies, cause that's what they could do.

Rodney Dill said...

After one fan said, "Throw me a Kiss," Dwarf tossing was reinvented all over again.

AM42 said...

Damn- they looked so much taller up on stage.

David Simon said...

"That's right guys, get down on you knees and you can get a peak up those skirts too."

ThatGayConservative said...

"Hey LITTLE Caesar, nobody messing with you
Hey LITTLE Caesar, go show 'em what you can do"


"Bring your kids to see Garbage Pail Kids Live!"


"Go BABY driver, go BABY driver
Go BABY driver, go BABY driver"



"My love is larger than life, larger than life
My love is larger than life, ooh larger than life
My love is too much to hold, it can't be sold, oh no"

catbat said...

miniature 80s rock bands for rent weekly or daily, you say? sure, i'll take tiny warrant up through tuesday, please.

Cybrludite said...

We represent the Rohypnol Guild, the Rohypnol Guild, the Rohypnol Guild...

Fish-Lips said...

Don't let the smile fool you. John would love to insert his hand into their spinal columns and play them like ventriloquists' dummies.

Jonathan said...

"And now, the 'E! True Hollywood Story: Where Are They Now?' follows up with the original Jawa actors from Star Wars. As you can see, 19 years of not being able to capitalize off of their silver screen stardom took its toll...but they finally found gainful employment!"

divine miss M said...

Halloween is always a memorable day for Mr. Wilson's third grade special-ed class.

attmay said...

During the Oompa Loompa strike of '76, Willy Wonka hired scabs such as these to work his chocolate factory.

Submariner said...

Song from the 30's or 40's:

♪Give me a little kiss, will ya hon?♪

Submariner said...

Funny; that doesn't look like the midway behind them...

ThatGayConservative said...

NO! We need mini Pink Floyd for this production of Dark Side of the Rainbow

Lyn said...

"In ancient times, hundreds of years before the dawn of history, an ancient race of people... the Druids. No one knows who they were or what they were doing..."
(Spinal Tap ratchets Stonehenge up a notch.)