Wednesday, April 05, 2006

The Hand Talks Back

1. Thing eventually found employment with someone even creepier than the Addams Family.

2. "You want to mess with me, Mr Capitol Security Guard Man? Well, Bring it, Bitch! I'll bust a cap in your ass, You Punk Ass Blasphemous Dope Fiend Bitch!"

3. "And a shout-out to my home-girl, Dawn! You go, girl!"

4. "Oh, come on, show me some hands. I can't be the only one in the congress who thinks Robert Mugabe is hot."

5. "Return Mr. Hat to me at once! Or, suffer the wrath of M'Kinn'ay, Queen Demon of the Nether Realm."

6. "You are all allowed to vote five times... minimum! Don't let no cracker tell you otherwise!"

7. "And you can make five, ten, fitteen, fitty times your initial investment buying real estate with no money down."

8. "Some people call me a moonbat. Well, here's what I say to that: Bic lighter! American Flag! BURN, BABY, BURN!!!

9. "Kobe, over here, I'm open... and I'm not wearing panties."

10. Soft bigotry of low expectations? You're soaking in it.

Best of Tomslick
I am dumbass hear me roar/ I'm a 2 but dripping whore

Best of The Man
Today's Video Daily Double: "What is a race-baiting hooker?" Alex.

Best of attmay
I'm a little moonbat, short and stout.
Here is my handle, here is my spout.
When I get all steamed up, punch me out.
I'll play race cards, there's no doubt.

Best of Van Helsing
"And then on the way out of the restaurant, when the honky-ass maitre d' come up saying I should pay the bill, I just take his pasty white face like this and I..."

Best of Silhouette
"...and when Giuliani turned down the money from terrorists, I grabbed it as fast as I could, like this."

Best of David Simon
"Cynthia, this Protocols of the Elders of Zion book fell out of your pocket. Here, catch."

Haaaaaaaa-douken!

Best of catbat
"and then i grabbed him right back and went 'honk, honk'."

Best of sonicfrog
I put a spell on you
Because you're mine
Stop the things you do
Heheheh
I ain't lyin'...

Best of Submariner
"So, in summary, I didn't 'strike' that honky-assed, cracker, cop; I was simply applying the ghetto 'mind meld' on his racist ass."
Cynthia McKinney's offers an "apology"

Best of divine miss M
"Arise and WALK, my child, for you are HEALED!"

From here: Standard disclaimer does not apply.

26 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Yo, Hill, Laura, get your eyes off my husband, or I'm gonna cap you a$$.

Tomslick said...

The world only thinks I am a buck toothed, Marty Feldman eyes having, dumbass, crybaby mother fucker because I am black.

Tomslick said...

I am dumbass hear me roar
I'm a 2 but dripping whore

I am strong
I am invincible
I am dumbass

T. Harris said...

"Eh, excuse me, honky mo fo's, talk to the hand!"

T. Harris said...

"Please, please, I have an exciting announcement to make. Newly found adoption records prove that I was separated at birth from my twin sister, and I do mean sistah, Sheila Jackson Lee of Houston, Texas."

T. Harris said...

Further evidence upholding the Dred Scott decision.

T. Harris said...

With such fine, brilliant, upstanding representatives in Congress, how could anything go wrong?

The Man said...

I asked for a dark birch podium! Who gave me this white birch podium? This is a racist conspiracy.

The Man said...

Today's Video Daily Double
"What is a race-baiting hooker?" Alex.

jeff said...

If I don't pull my hair back this tight, you can see my wrinkles.

"...and I owe all my success to Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, who paved the way for race-baiters such as my self."

"Oh! Someone just poked me from behind... and it feels soooooo good!"

"Please ignore my hand - it's right so it must be wrong."

attmay said...

I'm a little moonbat, short and stout.
Here is my handle, here is my spout.
When I get all steamed up, punch me out.
I'll play race cards, there's no doubt.

attmay said...

Oh, come on! When I screamed "Kill Whitey" I meant Whitey Ford. Is he still alive?

Van Helsing said...

"And then on the way out of the restaurant, when the honky-ass maitre d' come up saying I should pay the bill, I just take his pasty white face like this and I..."

Silhouette said...

"...and when Giuliani turned down the money from terrorists, I grabbed it as fast as I could, like this."

Submariner said...

That cracker-assed, honky, rent-a-cop's lucky I didn't use "The Claw" move that Prince Pullins taught me... {{huh? camera's are rolling?}} When he made his racist attack on me... unprovoked I might add...

Submariner said...

Nancy - Nancy Pelosi! I need to get my seniority re-instated. No?
racist bitch!

Submariner said...

I'd like to detail more examples of the opression I and my people have been subjected to all our lives, but my limo's waiting to take me to Harry Bellafonte's private jet. We're travelling to Hugo's place for a worker's party tonight.

sonicfrog said...

Damn if she ain't sportin' a five-o-clock shadow!

David Simon said...

"Cynthia, this Protocols of the Elders of Zion book fell out of your pocket. Here, catch."

David Simon said...

"Okay, let's see a show of hands. How many other sisters have climbed the ladder by race baiting and poverty pimping?"

Cybrludite said...

Haaaaaaaa-douken!

catbat said...

"and then i grabbed him right back and went 'honk, honk'."

sonicfrog said...

I put a spell on you
Because you're mine
Stop the things you do
Heheheh
I ain't lyin'...

ThatGayConservative said...

"And then I grabbed the honkey pig by the throat like this!"

Submariner said...

"So, in summary, I didn't 'strike' that honky-assed, cracker, cop; I was simply applying the ghetto 'mind meld' on his racist ass."
Cynthia McKinney's offers an "apology"

divine miss M said...

"Arise and WALK, my child, for you are HEALED!"