Thursday, April 27, 2006

Guy Eating Lettuce In Front of Chick with a Guitar

1. Goofus eats the BK Meat'Nornormous sandwich. Gallant eats a healthy salad.

2. "I gave my love a chicken...that had no bone..."

3. George Bush doesn't care about lettuce-eating, pencil-necked fashion refugees.

4. Did someone say "FREEBIRD!"?

5. I know it costs more, but a salad always tastes better when it's hand-tossed.

6. "The words are really easy, you can all sing along, it's 'So I say I gotta be me, So I say I gotta be free.' "

7. You've gotta tell them! Soylent Green is people!

8. Quick, a show of hands: Who secretly wishes they were married to a hot sexy lesbian?

9. “The people of Namibia need your fondue sets. Please. Just reach up into your top shelves and dust them off.”

10. For the record, Ted Nugent would have a MUCH LOUDER guitar and WAY MORE MEAT in his dinner.

24 comments:

Submariner said...

ORA:

♪ Smelly cat, smelly cat... ♪

Submariner said...

If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Oh, Grandma is a person that everyone likes,
She bought you a toy train and a bright shiny bike,
But lately she hasn't been coming to dinner,
The last time you saw her she looked a lot thinner.
Now your parents told you she moved to Peru,
but the truth is she died and someday you will too.

Rodney Dill said...

(you beat me to the smelly cat reference, I was gonna put down)
"If she plays 'Smelly Cat' one more time I'm gonna toss my salad."

Rodney Dill said...

PETA Weinie

Silhouette said...

You don't make friends with salad. You don't make friends with salad.

Submariner said...

So, babe; I haven't seen you around here before. Let me recommend the Whopper™ with fresh, local, Wisconsin cheese...

Submariner said...

Whoa, whoa, prom night flashback! Thanks, Mindy, wherever you are...

jeff said...

The photo you get when autofocus focuses on the closest person instead of the hottest person in the frame...

Submariner said...

Test a-rony, ♪ The San Francisco treat! ♪

T. Harris said...

Hmmm, yes, it's definitely time to pull a Bluto Blutarsky and smash that bitch's guitar to smithereens.

WALSTIB said...

"Waiter? Can I please buy her a glass of 'Shut-The-F*#k-Up'?

WALSTIB said...

He's not smiling because he likes the music or because the likes the salad; he's smiling cause he's a lefty.

GOP & College said...

1) Dude, you told me "No soup for you," so I had this crappy salad. And now you're gonna tell me you were kidding? wha'the hell?

2) Camera Man: Haha, you're funny!
Salad Boy: What do you mean I'm funny?
CM: Just... ya know... you're funny.
SB: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little messed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to frikin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?

Submariner said...

Sam's son always enjoyed "Amateur Night at the Royal Beagle." That was until that one fateful night with the endless line of no talent skanks playing "Mandy" over, and over, and...

Submariner said...

What will my next course be? That bird's breast and things, of coourse.

Zeke said...

I can't believe how many chicks in this bar are staring at me, must be my smokin' vest.

sonicfrog said...

"Smelly Cat, Smelly cat what are they feeding you?
Smelly Cat, smelly cat it's not your fault..."

Submariner said...

Yeah, this vest is ok; but for the ultimate in cool, my jacket has a penis design...

Jonathan said...

ORA:

"Tonight, at The Pit...Everyone Gets Laid!"

Silhouette said...

As a youth, Bill Clinton used to enjoy a good salad. Before the dark times. Before Hillary.

Chip said...

He'll never escape again, now that we have the invisible fence and shock collar.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"So Kyle, where'd ya get the cool vest?"

"Members Only!"

"Uh, are you like the last member?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

I can practically smell the stale Pachouli and B.O. from here.