Saturday, April 01, 2006

Crack in the Sidewalk

1. NPR Correspondent Andrew Sullivan conducts some Moon on the Street interviews.

2. After years of lackluster results, Exodus managed to increase its success rate to 90% by hiring this man as a counselor.

3. Home Depot would regret marketing Christopher Lowell's line of designer biballs.

4. "Dad, if it's all the same to you, we'll just follow at a distance of 300 yards and pretend we don't know you."

5. Andrew Sullivan was thrilled at the chance to meet Sir Mix-a-Lot.

6. Much like the guys Sully hooks up with on 'beagles-n-bareback-dot-com,' the person who sent me this would probably prefer to remain anonymous.

7. "You see, in San Francisco, a man can place a personal ad seeking a bearded she-male with child-bearing hips and get over 600 responses. That's because, we're just a little bit ahead of the curve here, compared to the midwest." Poot! Sniff! Sniff! Sniff!

8. Oh, yeah. My schoolboy outfit is flawless. Mary LeTourneau, you will soon be mine!

9. Fortunately, Isreali Fashion Police found the bombs in his backpack when he was stopped at a border crossing.

10. Crack and moonshine are bad for you. (Props CJ)

Best of Rodney Dill
Does this make my butt look fat?

Best of Fish Lips
He is none other than Gluteus Maximus, the supreme Roman god of pasta dinners and belly dancing.

Best of prince of leaves
David Banner's lesser-known alter-ego, the Fabulous Hulk, is photographed here in mid-change.

Best of racerboy
This man is a mincing, sweating advertisement for Nair...

Best of catbat
all the wedgies as a child turned out to be just good practice for adulthood.

Best of Six Degrees of Blondness
For the love of Christ, just Don't. Turn. Around.

Best of attmay
So now we've finally found the gay love child of Betty Grable and Alf the alien.

Best of e-ho
George Clooney gains 30 lbs in preparation for his next roll - "Islamaback Mountin': My short life as a gay Muslim"

Best of nevergrewup
Assfacia (noun): disease where a person's face takes on the appearance of one's ass. This progresses to the point where a affected individual can not tell the difference.

Best of jbinnout
"I justh love to color coordinate when coming out on the sthreeths. Alwaysth match your sthockths with a darling little ball cap (ooohh, did I sthay that out loud?), right Andrew?"

Best of David Simon
"You actually lock your bike up and remove the front tire? Funny, I've never had to."

"That ticket line across the street is about to get a whole lot shorter. Watch this."

Best of andthenblammo!
"Oh, yessth, Insthpector Callahan, I feel very lucky!"

That's not just junk in the trunk, that's the whole landfill.

"The good news is, Miss Bach, we've found those original "Daisy Dukes" someone stole from your home. The bad news is, trust me, you don't want them back anymore."

I see Paris, I see France, I'm putting a slug through my head so I don't see your underpants!

Best of Rodney Dill
I don't think this episode of Sopranos is going to be long remembered

Best of Submariner
"You see the crack from the top?" Francesco could not seem to properly assimilate American plumber customs.

Worst.Village.People.Audition.Ever!

Best of WALSTIB
BareAssGuy: "Has anyone seen Scrotum InflationGuy? He said to meet him right here."

"And now for something completely different...."

Best of T. Harris
Even Helen Thomas' dick went limp after seeing this pic.

Inspired by bad-d-d-dude
Al Borland figured if Lowell from Wings could get an Oscar nom for "Sideways," he was a shoo-in for his role in "The Dukes of Brokeback."

Best of Robert
"Throw out your hands. Stick out your tush. Hands on your hips. Give 'em a push. You'll be surprised You're doing the French mistake! Voila!"

63 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

Does this make my butt look fat?

Fish-Lips said...

He is none other than Gluteus Maximus, the supreme Roman god of pasta dinners and belly dancing.

radio free fred said...

"Yet Another Reason Why The Mentally Ill Should Not Be Thrown Into The Street."

Rodney Dill said...

Cheeky Fellow.

prince of leaves said...

It's the guy from the "Fat Man and Little Boy" post, back in his salad days.

prince of leaves said...

David Banner's lesser-known alter-ego, the Fabulous Hulk, is photographed here in mid-change.

radio free fred said...

Pickle Inspector Has Good Day

Rodney Dill said...

I knew there was a reason not to get up at the butt-crack of dawn.

racerboy said...

This man is a walking, sweating advertisement for Nair...

racerboy said...

...er, make that a mincing , sweating, advertisement for Nair...

catbat said...

all the wedgies as a child turned out to be just good practice for adulthood.

Six Degrees of Blondness said...

For the love of Christ, just Don't. Turn. Around.

attmay said...

So now we've finally found the gay love child of Betty Grable and Alf the alien.

Anonymous said...

EEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!

Robert said...

Ummm, that's just wrong!

Mr. Right said...

Just say "NO" to crack!!!

Mr. Right said...

Got brain bleach?

Mr. Right said...

Air sickness bags are located in the small compartment on the back of the computer monitor in front of you...

WALSTIB said...

"California is a Nation"?
If it is, can't we force it to secede and then use it for target practice? I'm just sayin'.

e-ho said...

George Clooney gains 30 lbs in preparation for his next roll -
"Islamaback Mounting: My short life as a gay Muslim"

nevergrewup said...

Assfacia (noun)
disease where a person's face takes on the appearance of one's ass. This progresses to the point where a affected individual can not tell the difference.

jbinnout said...

"I justh love to color coordinate when coming out on the sthreeths. Alwaysth match your sthockths with a darling little ball cap (ooohh, did I sthay that out loud?), right Andrew?"

David Simon said...

"Okay already, I'll let you pick up the quarter I just dropped if it means that much to you."

David Simon said...

"You actually lock your bike up and remove the front tire? Funny, I've never had to."

David Simon said...

"That ticket line across the street is about to get a whole lot shorter. Watch this."

David Simon said...

"What? I've got a dingleberry hanging off my butt hair?! There, is it gone now? Oh, I feel so humiliated."

andthenblammo! said...

"Andy and I are going hiking! Which way to Brokeback Mountain?"

andthenblammo! said...

"Betty Grable posed like this, and was painted on the noses of dozens of bombers in WWII! And we won! I pose like this, and get Magic-Markered onto bathroom stalls! And I went down in defeat!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Oh, yessth, Inspector Callahan, I feel very lucky!"

andthenblammo! said...

That's not just junk in the trunk, that's the whole landfill.

andthenblammo! said...

"The good news is, Miss Bach, we've found those original "Daisy Dukes" someone stole from your home. The bad news is, trust me, you don't want them back anymore."

andthenblammo! said...

"Welcome! I'm your tour guide for 'Glory Holes of Olde San Francisco!' Please make sure to keep up with the group, or you'll get behind! Get it? Get behind! Oh, I just kill myself laughing!"

andthenblammo! said...

"Laugh all you want to, but this is my first visit to Chicago, and I'd never eaten a bag of White Castles before. And these jeans used to have a 33 inch inseam."

andthenblammo! said...

I see Paris, I see France, I'm putting a slug through my head so I don't see your underpants!

andthenblammo! said...

"In other news from Spain: General Francisco Franco is not only still dead, but he's happy he died before things like this appeared."

WALSTIB said...

Crack Whore

WALSTIB said...

"It looked so good out this morning, I decided to leave it out all day long."

Rodney Dill said...

(small tattoo on left cheek)
Bill Clinton was here

Rodney Dill said...

I don't think this episode of Sopranos is going to be long remembered

Critical Matt said...

VtheK proudly displays the Mohammed cartoons!

Six Degrees of Blondness said...

Dang, blammo. Yer on a roll, dude! lol

Submariner said...

"You see the crack from the top?" Francesco could not seem to properly assimilate American plumber customs.

Submariner said...

OK, Mr. Franks, I'm dressed as a "see, cadet." Should I turn around for "inspection?"

Submariner said...

Franco Harris didn't adjust well to life after the "immaculate reception."

Submariner said...

And here's one for you, Sen. Clinton;
queeeeeeeeeEEEEEEF!!

Submariner said...

Monsieur le Kobe; eet eez open for you, non?

Submariner said...

Ohhhhhhhhh - So THAT'S what is under the Shehag's doughy muffin top...

WALSTIB said...

BareAssGuy: "Has anyone seen Scrotum Guy? He said to meet him right here."

sonicfrog said...

There's a moon over Bourbon Street tonight...

Jonathan said...

Paul Krugman's vacation photo from Fire Island.

T. Harris said...

Even Helen Thomas' dick went limp after seeing this pic.

WALSTIB said...

"And now for something completely different...."

Submariner said...

ORA?:

Wanna see something really scary?

Submariner said...

What the crowd three pics down is really shielding their eyes from...

Submariner said...

Worst.Village.People.Audition.Ever!

Rodney Dill said...

Member UAW Brick Layers Local 010

Uncle Tim said...

Ronni, the PBS photographer's gay life partner was always doing anooying things like standing in the picture while he was trying to get a shot of the new Ashbury St. billboard "Catalonia is A Nation"

Cricket said...

Who can turn the world on with his 'smile?'
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you dude, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all


How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, man this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

WALSTIB said...

Elated by the news that he passed 50 caps and excited by the possibility that he could break the record set by those crazy California representatives last year [88?], BareAssGuy threatens to turn around unless he gets another 30 caps today.

Submariner said...

I'm Butt-man. Where's Rub-ins?



V. - Time for the milk carton photos for SOTG. This 9er made it all night without a cap from him...

bad-d-d-dude said...

Hollywood executives schedule screen test for a new "Brokeback" version of "The Dukes of Hazzard."

attmay said...

I will pay this guy $1,000 and a free DVD if he promises never, ever EVER to bend over.

Robert said...

"Throw out your hands. Stick out your tush. Hands on your hips. Give 'em a push. You'll be surprised You're doing the French mistake! Voila!"