From Mr. Cranky
1. "I read that it's good for the cuticles."
2. "Oh, no, here comes Michael Moore; quick, hide the sandwiches!"
3. Debbie Does Doodie.
4. Emboldened by reading about other cultures, Laurie indulges in "matters of the left hand."
5. Insert blonde-with-dirty-toilet joke here: _________________.
6. Brokebowel Mountain.
7. Insomnia and prune danish, it's a lethal combination.
8. The grafitti reads, "Sphincter Boy Was Here! And here! And here...."
8. "I'll take 'Places I Wouldn't Stick My Hand In On a Bet' for $1,000, Alex."
9. "Don't worry, Cindy, we'll pretend this never happened. You know, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other."
10. The scene that inspired Shakespeare to write, "France is a dog hole, and it no more merits the tread of a man's foot."
Best of AM42:
This must be why they never showed the toilet on The Brady Bunch.
Ted Kennedy's housekeeper just doesn't get paid nearly enough.
Where will you be when your laxative starts working?
Best of T. Harris:
"Oh my God Larry, you were right! Helen Thomas was the last one to use this toilet. I just found her press pass. And some corn."
Best of Jeff:
Are you kidding? Do you realize how much Sprint will charge me for a new phone?!?
Best of Rodney Dill:
"Sorry dear, I'll remember to put the seat down next time."
"Outta my way, it was $1 Burrito night at Taco Bell."
Best of Cyberludite:
This week on Fear Factor: Debbie is given a choice between going on a date with a random Caption This! regular or digging around a disgusting toilet!
Best of Bubbe:
All service stations are the same.
20 comments:
This must be why they never showed the toilet on The Brady Bunch.
(I can't believe I screwed up the very first comment of the day.)
(Actually, I do.)
Ted Kennedy's housekeeper just doesn't get paid nearly enough.
One of the first signs that your crack habit is really out of control.
Almost... almost... Ah-ha, there's my earring. Ewwww, I almost touched the seat!
Where will you be when your laxative starts working?
And now the required Palmolive reference (I can't believe I'm the first to do this):
"Putrified human waste? Why you're soaking in it."
"Oh my God Larry, you were right! Helen Thomas was the last one to use this toilet. I just found her press pass. And some corn."
Katie broke her leg jumping off the porch with an umbrella after watching Mary Poppins as a child. Things only got worse as she grew old enough to go to movies like Trainspotting.
"We're being audited! Where's the receipt for the hash???"
"The black market doesn't give receipts, idiot."
Amy discovers one of the many reasons it's not a good idea to wash your hands in the bidet.
Are you kidding? Do you realize how much Sprint will charge me for a new phone?!?
"Sorry dear, I'll remember to put the seat down next time."
"Outta my way, it was $1 Burrito night at Taco Bell."
Justifiable Homicide 101: "No I didn't throw your grandmother's wedding ring in there, I palmed it, here it is see."
This week on Fear Factor: Debbie is given a choice between going on a date with a random Caption This! regular or digging around a disgusting toilet!
All service stations are the same.
Wow, something even grosser than photos in Star Magazine of Britney Spears walking barefoot into the aforementioned service station loo.
What Charlene Tilton has been doing since Dallas was canceled.
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