Friday, April 21, 2006

Cinema Friday In Absentia




From Mr. Cranky

1. "I read that it's good for the cuticles."

2. "Oh, no, here comes Michael Moore; quick, hide the sandwiches!"

3. Debbie Does Doodie.

4. Emboldened by reading about other cultures, Laurie indulges in "matters of the left hand."

5. Insert blonde-with-dirty-toilet joke here: _________________.

6. Brokebowel Mountain.

7. Insomnia and prune danish, it's a lethal combination.

8. The grafitti reads, "Sphincter Boy Was Here! And here! And here...."

8. "I'll take 'Places I Wouldn't Stick My Hand In On a Bet' for $1,000, Alex."

9. "Don't worry, Cindy, we'll pretend this never happened. You know, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other."

10. The scene that inspired Shakespeare to write, "France is a dog hole, and it no more merits the tread of a man's foot."

Best of AM42:
This must be why they never showed the toilet on The Brady Bunch.

Ted Kennedy's housekeeper just doesn't get paid nearly enough.

Where will you be when your laxative starts working?

Best of T. Harris:
"Oh my God Larry, you were right! Helen Thomas was the last one to use this toilet. I just found her press pass. And some corn."

Best of Jeff:
Are you kidding? Do you realize how much Sprint will charge me for a new phone?!?

Best of Rodney Dill:
"Sorry dear, I'll remember to put the seat down next time."

"Outta my way, it was $1 Burrito night at Taco Bell."

Best of Cyberludite:
This week on Fear Factor: Debbie is given a choice between going on a date with a random Caption This! regular or digging around a disgusting toilet!

Best of Bubbe:
All service stations are the same.

20 comments:

AM42 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
AM42 said...

This must be why they never showed the toilet on The Brady Bunch.

(I can't believe I screwed up the very first comment of the day.)

(Actually, I do.)

AM42 said...

Ted Kennedy's housekeeper just doesn't get paid nearly enough.

AM42 said...

One of the first signs that your crack habit is really out of control.

AM42 said...

Almost... almost... Ah-ha, there's my earring. Ewwww, I almost touched the seat!

AM42 said...

Where will you be when your laxative starts working?

bad-d-d-dude said...

And now the required Palmolive reference (I can't believe I'm the first to do this):

"Putrified human waste? Why you're soaking in it."

T. Harris said...

"Oh my God Larry, you were right! Helen Thomas was the last one to use this toilet. I just found her press pass. And some corn."

prince of leaves said...

Katie broke her leg jumping off the porch with an umbrella after watching Mary Poppins as a child. Things only got worse as she grew old enough to go to movies like Trainspotting.

Fish-Lips said...

"We're being audited! Where's the receipt for the hash???"

"The black market doesn't give receipts, idiot."

prince of leaves said...

Amy discovers one of the many reasons it's not a good idea to wash your hands in the bidet.

jeff said...

Are you kidding? Do you realize how much Sprint will charge me for a new phone?!?

Rodney Dill said...

"Sorry dear, I'll remember to put the seat down next time."

Rodney Dill said...

"Outta my way, it was $1 Burrito night at Taco Bell."

Rodney Dill said...

Justifiable Homicide 101: "No I didn't throw your grandmother's wedding ring in there, I palmed it, here it is see."

Cybrludite said...

This week on Fear Factor: Debbie is given a choice between going on a date with a random Caption This! regular or digging around a disgusting toilet!

bubbe said...

All service stations are the same.

divine miss M said...

Wow, something even grosser than photos in Star Magazine of Britney Spears walking barefoot into the aforementioned service station loo.

WALSTIB said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
attmay said...

What Charlene Tilton has been doing since Dallas was canceled.