Thursday, April 13, 2006

Brought to you by the "Save-A-Ho" Foundation

1. I'd say Urkel's sex-change was a spectacular success.

2. If this is from a typical Hollywood action movie, I'm guessing she's playing the world's foremost nuclear physicist.

3. Get the door! It's your cliched p0rn movie pizza delivery whore.

4. But, the Giantess just swooped the Pershing missile out of midair and picked her perfect teeth with it.

5. "You need some 'dictation' Senator Clinton? All right, I'll lock the door and take off my panties."

6. "Why them's the biggest shiniest headlights since the 1934 Dusenberg."

7. And then Andrew Sullivan woke up. "My God what a horrible dream. She was wearing white pumps with that top."

8. "Well, ma'am, your credentials are excellent, but we've decided to go with a Bush-Hating Anti-War Activist to replace Katie Couric."

9. "OK, sweetie, in this next scene, the naughty librarian has to administer stern punisment to a customer with 69 overdue books. The line is, 'I'm going to lick your bookworm.'"

10. Kandee sued Bausch and Lomb after the eye fungus scandal forced her to wear glasses and she lost 40% of her clientele who thought she had gone intellectual on them."

Best of the man
"Hi, I am here for the Duke Lacrosse party."

Best of silhouette
Sometimes a pen is just a pen.

Best of submariner
There are 43 man-made items in this picture; Chloe's hair color is the gimme.

Buttons by Titan Fasteners® When you absolutely, positively need to handle the strain.

Good afternoon, Mr. Nichols. Of course you can stay here for a while, but you have to let me read my Bible to you...

Best of sonicfrog
The very nearly pulled off the "Smart Blonde" charade.... that was, until she tried to eat the bic pen!

17 comments:

Silhouette said...

Sometimes a pen is just a pen.

Or not.

The Man said...

Candice was used to black things poking her in the face.

The Man said...

"Hi, I am here for the Duke Lacrosse party?

jason said...

I'll take two...

Silhouette said...

Her John joked, "I'll take one from column A and one from column B," but Bambi was confused. She wore a "D".

Fish-Lips said...

Despite the glasses and ear wax, men would still be on her like a pack of dogs on a three-legged cat.

Submariner said...

Greek? No silly, I'm a Texan!

Submariner said...

There are 43 man-made items in this picture; Chloe's hair color is the gimme.

Submariner said...

ORA:

Good afternoon, Mr. Nichols. Of course you can stay here for a while, but you have to let me read my Bible to you...

Submariner said...

"Would I like to get something exciting between my legs?" That depends - you got a Harley?

jeff said...

What Mary Kay Letourneau looked like do Vili Fualaau... pity he never got that eye exam.

attmay said...

"Memoirs of a Secretary", the Westernized remake of "Memoirs of a Geisha", was no more successful than the original.

Submariner said...

Buttons by Titan Fasteners®
When you absolutely, positively need to handle the strain.

ThatGayConservative said...

Bambi models the standard blue dress uniform for the B.J. Clinton Presidential Library & Massage Parlor.

Candy practices her impersonation of Burgess Meredith's Penguin. "Waagh! Waagh! Waagh!"

Lyn said...

Deal or no deal?

sonicfrog said...

The very nearly pulled off the "Smart Blonde" charade.... that was, until she tried to eat the bic pen!

sonicfrog said...

It's the new add campaign for the amazing writing utensil - P.E.N.15.