Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Blasty from the Pasty


1. How does Darlene know that Betsy was using the computer? There's Wite-Out® on the screen.

2. A young Uhura practices her 10-key in preparation for entrance into Starfleet Academy.

3. Alright, ladies, quit kidding around. Get back in the kitchen where you belong.

4. Yes, could you give me the number for 9-1-1?

5. Relegated to server status, HAL 1000 vows one day to rule the office.

H/T: Lileks

Best of Cybrludite (Check out the Audio Caption Theme as well)
Hello, tech support? Yes, who's Colonel Panic and what is he doing to our workstation?

Darlene, tech support says to check in C:\winnt\sys32 for a file called ROFL.SYS. If that's there, then we've been hit with kelvir_cw & need to shut that system off. (Yep. This virus is so nasty & adaptive, it can travel through time to infect a machine...)

Best of Alabama
Computers of the future: Betsy's laptop also served as a nice lil portable microwave.

Best of Shayne
Before hitting it big with "Rock Lobster", the B-52's worked at IBM.

Best of Submariner
Hello.Professor.Want.To.Play.A.Game?
How about "Global Thermo-Nuclear War?"

Debbie: "Bill? I've entered all 3500 data sets. How do I save this?"
Bill: "Just press the Control, Alt and Delete keys at the same time." >snicker< >snicker< Best of Silhouette
Incredibly, with only 8 computers in the whole wide world to service, Margaret was still on hold with tech support for 45 minutes.

Computers would later get much smaller. Hair, however, would get much bigger before finally peaking in the 1980s (Table 24a).

"Hello, purchasing? Yes, we received the shipment and the two tabletop stations are working well, but the mainframe is only a photograph held to the wall by giant strips of masking tape."

Best of Rodney Dill
"The shipment is for 32 Kilobytes of core memory? That should be plenty for years to come."

"...and this geeky mailroom guy, Bill Gates, keeps saying someday computers will fit in the palm of your hand, what a moron."

Best of jeff
"Internal Revenue Service Helpline, how may I help you?"

Best of divine miss M
The Stepford Secretaries....real people don't have posture this good!

Best of ThatGayConservative
Porn.com, the early years.

"Hey Bill, how do you make the smiley face again?

Best of Sonicfrog
Dateline April 18th, 2006: Cisco a Dummy Corp. The Secret Triumvirate Controlling Traffic of Entire Internet are Revealed.

34 comments:

Cybrludite said...

Hello, tech support? Yes, who Colonel Panic and what is he doing to our workstation?

Cybrludite said...

Audio Caption!

Alabama said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Alabama said...

Computers of the future: Betsy's laptop also served as a nice lil portable microwave.

Shayne said...

Before hitting it big with "Rock Lobster", the B-52's worked at IBM.

Rodney Dill said...

EBCDIC - Erase Backup, Crash Disk, Ignite Cards.

Lyn said...

You are not a cyber ludite if you can do that audio caption! Great work, fun background theme. lgp

Submariner said...

Hello.Professor.Want.To.Play.A.Game?
How about "Global Thermo-Nuclear War?"

Submariner said...

Debbie; "Bill? I've entered all 3500 data sets. How do I save this?"
Bill; "Just press the Control, Alt and Delete keys at the same time." >snicker< >snicker<

Cybrludite said...

Lyn,

The name comes from my habit of my personal machines staying on the bleeding edge of obsolescence until they absolutely
have to be replaced

Submariner said...

Hello, Washington? We've decoded that signal from space. It says "Mars needs women." Ummmmm, Sally and I want to volunteer...

Silhouette said...

Incredibly, with only 8 computers in the whole wide world to service, Margaret was still on hold with tech support for 45 minutes.

Silhouette said...

Computers would later get much smaller. Hair, however, would get much bigger before finally peaking in the 1980s (Table 24a).

Silhouette said...

"Hello, purchasing? Yes, we received the shipment and the two tabletop stations are working well, but the mainframe is only a photograph held to the wall by giant strips of masking tape."

Rodney Dill said...

"The shipment is for 32 Kilobytes of core memory? That should be plenty for years to come."

Zeke said...

The aliens laughed at how easy it was to conceal their freakishly large heads from the humans as they stole computer time.

Silhouette said...

A pregnant Mrs. O'Brian worried about the doctor's warning of too much computer exposure. But surely, little Chloe (she just knew it would be a girl) would turn out to be normal...

Silhouette said...

Calvin: How come old photographs are always black and white? Didn't they have color film back then?

Calvin's Dad: Sure they did. In fact, those old photographs are in color. It's just that the world was black and white then. The world didn't turn color until sometime later, and it was pretty grainy color for a while, too.

/apologies to BWatterson

sonicfrog said...

Office politics circa 1965:

Woman On Phone: "Yeah Mary, I know she's a dits. Not much upstairs. She's been sitting at the computer for an hour and typed not even 20 words. And gee, you wonder how she keeps her job..."

attmay said...

No, mister, I am not Dusty Springfield, and if you call here again I'm gonna call the cops.

sonicfrog said...

Office dating circa 1965:

Official Policy: No off duty fraternizing.

Reality:

Woman on phone: "Yeah George. I know Katy's a dits. Not much upstairs. She's been sitting at the computer for an hour and typed not even 20 words. But we got sauced with Mick and David from accounting last Friday night and had a manage-a-trois and we really liked it. We could do it with you this week-en..."

"Oh, you want to talk to Fred? Yeah, he's right here, but wouldn't do it. He's, well, not into the dating women sort of thing if you know what I... Oh, really. Hold on..."

Fred, it's George from data processing. He wants to know if you're free on Friday night...

sonicfrog said...

Dateline April 18th, 2006: Cisco a Dummy Corp. The Secret Triumvirate Controlling Traffic of Entire Internet are Revealed.

sonicfrog said...

In 2005, extra congressional funding has allowed the FBI to finally upgrade it's computers to newer models. Fred crunches data on his amazing RCA Spectra 70 . And Mary has really gotten the hang of the user friendly AT&T Unixia Laptop. Yes, those nasty terrorists has better not try anything now!

Bad Penny said...

Teri scolded her computer, "Stop Typing what I am saying!" Gary Seven laughed quietly to himself.

jeff said...

"Internal Revenue Service Helpline, how may I help you?"

Silhouette said...

Voice on phone: "I'm sorry. We spent so much on the computers that we only had enough budget left for two chairs."

Rodney Dill said...

"...and this geeky mailroom guy, Bill Gates, keeps saying someday computers will fit in the palm of your hand, what a moron."

divine miss M said...

The Stepford Secretaries....real people don't have posture this good!

ThatGayConservative said...

On Screen: "20 y/o SWM ISO MILF"

Debbie: "Hey Bill, what's MILF?"



Porn.com, the early years.


Unbeknownst to Debbie, she would become the first person to be fired for looking at porn on the net during work hours.


Debbie: "Hey Bill, how do you make the smiley face again?

ThatGayConservative said...

Debbie: Guys! Check out this episode of RedVsBlue. That Tucker really cracks me up.

(Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow!)

prince of leaves said...

The Dharma Project's early years.

radio free fred said...

The Lyndon Baines Johnson Library And Museum.

Cybrludite said...

Big_Hair_Babe:> A/S/L???? LOL!!!!1!!

Cybrludite said...

Darlene, tech support says to check in C:\winnt\sys32 for a file called ROFL.SYS. If that's there, then we've been hit with kelvir_cw & need to shut that system off.

(Yep. This virus is so nasty & adaptive, it can travel through time to infect a machine...)