Wednesday, April 19, 2006
1. Ol'ga Babushka realizes too late that she optioned off her mineral rights to Yukos Oil.
2. Just another day of redtape for contestants in the new hit show, Former Soviet Idols.
3. "P.S. Aren't you glad I was given something other than toilet paper to write on this time? Sincerely, Your Son Ivan, Gulag City, Siberia."
4. The real Babushka Lady is finally discovered. And subpoenaed.
5. Government List of Approved and Prohibited Activities - Rule Number 902: All soup must contain beets.
6. Government List of Penalties for Breaking Rule Number 902 - Number 844: No borscht for you!
Target of My Mockery: Telegraph-dot-co-dot-UK
Best of Rodney Dill
INSTRUCTION MANUAL FOR OBTAINING A NO. 2 PENCIL -- (please fill out with a No. 2 pencil only)
In writing War and Peace Tolstoy was going for the big laugh, but the more he wrote the more elusive it became.
Best of Submariner
Afghani's learn one of the lesser "blessings of freedom" when they receive their 2006 Income Tax Forms in the mail.
Having finished filling out her eHarmony questionairre, she who is destined to be Prough91's real "ideal match" prepares to post.
The Vogon request form for toilet paper was somewhat disconcerting at the best of times. When you have the runs...
Best of Dusty
Helen Thomas laments over all the questions she never got to ask Pres. Bush during his last press conference.
Best of WALSTIB
Sequence Continuation Format Error on line 14,907??!! That's it! I'm done with Fortran!
Best of attmay
An assistant struggles with Michael Moore's grocery list.
Best of Mr. Right
Somewhere in the Heartland of America, Monday, April 17, 2006: If you have any additional income listed on Line 41b, Part C (loose change found in couch cushions) you must attach Form 1022y and file a 322/j Stated Unearned Tertiary Third-Party Non-Farming Textile Industry Windfall Interest Income Exemption Report as outlined in Section 545, Part K (See Page 219,533 of the U.S. Tax Code for further instructions). IMPORTANT NOTE: Failure to comply is a Class A Felony and may result in significant financial penalties and/or jail time...
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Olga wept as she examined her philandering hubby's cell phone bill.
Best of Cybrludite
I assure you, Mrs. Buttle, the Ministry is very scrupulous about following up and eradicating any error. If you have any complaints which you'd like to make, I'd be more than happy to send you the appropriate forms.