Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Where Else But Japan?

1. Twiki got lucky a lot more often after Buck introduced him to a little 20th Century invention known as Roofies.

2. Early Cylon models where much more user-friendly. It was only after they were tricked out with chrome and other urban accessories that they turned violent.

3. Sci-Fi geeks objected less to the Asian paedophilia theme than the did to the abandonment of the gorilla suit and diving helmet in Ang Lee's remake of Robot Monster.

4. Upon learning that his next assignment was massage therapy for Cindy Sheehan, the robot self-destructed.

5. Japanese custom requires ritual seppuku when your date is stolen by a robot.

6. After yet another grisly fatality, the Wang Corporation decided to make their "Nursing Home Careworker" and "Laundry Folding" Robots more distinct in appearance.

7. Cue p0rn music in 5... 4... 3...

Best of Submariner .
"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and you challenge me only with putting your whore to bed."

"...and for breakfast, I have an automatic juicer on top..."

The African consultant looked at SexBot 1.0 skeptically. "What the hell do you mean that it's oral orifice is 'anatomically sized' for male pleasure? What male?"

Best of nevergrewup .
Japan, tired of being accused of treating it's old people in an inhuman manner, creates a robot to counter the accusation.

Great, but can it sit for hours and listen to the same stories being told and retold and retold.

Best of Lyn .
I, Robot. You, Jane.

Best of the paperboy .
Can't sleep, robot'll eat me! Can't sleep, robot'll eat me!

Best of andthenblammo! .
"Say 'Me so Ronery' again. That always makes me giggle!"

Best of radio free fred .
"As The Big Green Machine Carries Suzey Butterfly To His Bedroom, He Wonders If His Hard Drive Is Up To The Task At Hand."

Best of Mr. Right .
"I am Bender... please insert girder."

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell .
Twiki creeped everyone out when he said "Bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee...giggity-giggity!"

Welcome to Sprockets-san! I am your host Heideki. Today we will be reviewing the new avant-garte play entitled "The Robot, The Maiden, and the Unescapable Grasp of Ennui."

AFP/JJI Photo on a Hat Tip from Franco at Discarded Lies

28 comments:

The Man said...

Japanese P0rn gets more and more strange.

sonicfrog said...

Still favoring the "nurture over nature" theory of molding childhood development, the Japanese are attempting to create a k. d. lange of their own.

sonicfrog said...

Experiencing emotions for the first time, Sexbot Prototype One, in a rage of jealousy and fear tries to throw her newer, more human-like replacement into the incinerator.

Submariner said...

ORA:

"Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and you challenge me only with taking out the refuse..."

Submariner said...

ORA:

Here.You.Are.Dr.Smith..Penny.Was.Not.Available..Is.This.One.Acceptable?

Submariner said...

"...and for breakfast, I have an automatic juicer on top..."

Submariner said...

The African consultant looked at SexBot 1.0 skeptically. "What the hell do you mean that it's oral orifice is 'anatomically sized' for male pleasure? What male?"

nevergrewup said...

Japan, tired of being accused of treating it's old people in an inhuman manner, creates a robot to counter the accusation.

Van Helsing said...

Commander Robot abducts another hostage.

nevergrewup said...

Great, but can it sit for hours and listen to the same stories being told and retold and retold.

Lyn said...

I, Robot. You, Jane.

Lyn said...

Japan's version of the Michelin Man 'tires' too easily.

Lyn said...

Japan's version of the Pillsbury Doughboy 'kneads' some help.

Lyn said...

The once proud and terrible Mechagodzilla is reduced to domestic services.

MP Martin said...

Can't sleep, robot'll eat me! Can't sleep, robot'll eat me!

Submariner said...

ORA:

Nice software, Stephanie...

Submariner said...

Uh, yes. Unfortunately it takes a minimum of 50 pounds for safety. Nano-nanny tends to toss 'em through the roof, otherwise.

Submariner said...

What's wrong with the dweeb in the background? Looks like he's throwing out a perfectly good physicist...

andthenblammo! said...

"Say 'Me so Ronery' again. That always makes me giggle!"

radio free fred said...

"As The Big Green Machine Carries Suzey Butterfly To His Bedroom, He Wonders If His Hard Drive Is Up To The Task At Hand."

Mr. Right said...

Somewhat ORA...

"I am Bender... please insert girder."

Submariner said...

Anime just keeps getting wierder, doesn't it?

Submariner said...

And the ultra obvious:

♪Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto♪
Domo!♪ ♪Domo!

Jonathan said...

Twiki creeped everyone out when he said "Bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee...giggity-giggity!"

Jonathan said...

"Welcome to Sprockets-san! I am your host Heideki. Today we will be reviewing the new avant-garte play entitled 'I Robot, You Jane-san'!"

Chevy Rose said...

A sign of the times: A robot elf.
Happy St.Patrick's Day, everyone!

radio free fred said...

All The Robots Have Been Stare-ilized.

Submariner said...

Trade Twiggy for a green beer?