Saturday, March 18, 2006

Saturday of the Horrible Ginger Kids, Part II

1. Van deKamps Pork, Beans, and Eternal Souls. It's Hell-licious!

2. One of the upsides of eternal damnation was how spectacularly your farts lit up in hell.

3. The Demonic imp smiled, "Look, while I was tormenting McLean Stevenson's soul, he dropped his hat. Mine now!"

4. Hey! It's my favorite episode of The Andy Griffith Show, "Opie's Possession."

5. Danny Elfman as a child, loved his beans, and the fragrant music that followed as surely as boingo followed oingo.

Best of Rodney Dill
Pooter Libby as a child

Best of andthenblammo!
"Yeah, laugh all you want to at me polishing off 6 cans a day of this stuff, but guess who is the one kid those creepy camp counselors leave alone? Plus I get the whole swimming pool to myself every time I jump in! Bonus!"

Best of prince of leaves
"And they all said I was too young to earn my Summoning Satan merit badge this summer. They'll learn how wrong they were -- oh how they'll learn! Muhahahahahahhhh!!!"

Best of Submariner
Damien; "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Demille..."

"It's only corporal punishment" my @ss! If Mrs. LeTourneau paddles me today, she's getting a "surprise ending!"

Tonight on Biography:Jay North, the dark years before he met a transgendered dog

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
Young Hannibal Lecter would soon be enraged upon discovering that it wasn't fava beans that he was eating!

Best of The Man
Van De Kamp's beans: The Weapons of Ass Destruction.

Best of WhoopsieDaisey
Mr. Sullivan says they make it feel like I'm "internally ribbed for pleasure," whatever that means...

Best of andthenblammo!
"Sure an' don't warry, these be Irish pork an' beans; they only have two hundred and thirty-nine beans in a can. One more, and they'd be two-farty!"

Best of Cybrludite
REDRUM! REDRUM! REDRUM!

From Plan 59, on a tip from Discarded Lies.

21 comments:

radio free fred said...

Van Camps Pork And Beans, The Beans That Give A TOOT!

Rodney Dill said...

After the can was finished Billy did a rendition from Blazing Saddles

divine miss M said...

Grandfather of Chucky: the Early Years.

Rodney Dill said...

Pooter Libby as a child

andthenblammo! said...

"Yeah, laugh all you want to at me polishing off 6 cans a day of this stuff, but guess who is the one kid those creepy camp counselors leave alone? Plus I get the whole swimming pool to myself every time I jump in! Bonus!"

prince of leaves said...

"And they all said I was too young to earn my Summoning Satan merit badge this summer. They'll learn how wrong they were -- oh how they'll learn! Muhahahahahahhhh!!!"

Submariner said...

Damien; "I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Demille..."

Submariner said...

Let's trade, mommy; no more beans for me - no more wire hangers for you?

Submariner said...

"What happened to Fluffy?
Well let me answer that this way; have you ever actually seen any pork in "Pork and Beans?"

Submariner said...

Danny Bonaduce glowered malevolently; "How the hell did you think I transform into Danny Partridge?"

Submariner said...

"It's only corporal punishment" my @ss! If Mrs. LeTourneau paddles me today, she's getting a "surprise ending!"

Submariner said...

No motors? Don't worry; I guarantee we'll get to the "secret fishin' hole" this morning...

Jonathan said...

Young Hannibal Lecter would soon be enraged upon discovering that it wasn't fava beans that he was eating!

The Man said...

The Weapons of Ass Destruction.

WhoopsieDaisey said...

Mr. Sullivan says they make it feel like I'm "internally ribbed for pleasure," whatever that means...

T. Harris said...

After receiving this picture in the first letter from his new American pen pal, little Mahmoud al-Habib of Ethiopia made a solemn oath: If he survived into manhood, he would one day hunt down a certain little jokester and slit his miserable throat.

andthenblammo! said...

"Sure an' don't warry, these be Irish pork an' beans; they only have two hundred and thirty-nine beans in a can. One more, and they'd be two-farty!"

Submariner said...

Although Mrs. Duke always specified Manischevitz brand pork and beans, the grocer always seemed to be "...all out..." for some stupid reason and sent young David home with Van Camp's instead.

Cybrludite said...

REDRUM! REDRUM! REDRUM!

Submariner said...

ORA:

Tonight on E! Biography:
Jay North, the dark years before he met a transgendered dog

nevergrewup said...

Tired of just dreaming of being an astronaut, little Finster ate six cans of beans and then announced,
"I'm a goin ta space".