Thursday, March 16, 2006

Satan's Cheerleaders

1. It started when the school board banned "Merry Christmas..." and then just kind of snowballed.

2. "Satan! Satan! He's our man! If he can't damn your soul to the dark smoking pit of eternal torment, no one can!"

3. Some people thought burning a pentagram into the gym floor to consecrate the blood sacrifice of a freshman went a little too far, but they stopped complaining when the team went 12 - 0.

4. The Swim Team also went undefeated when every other school forfeited rather than swim in an Olympic-sized pool of human blood.

5. The image that got Marilyn Manson through those lonely nights in high school.

6. During the Tribulation, the anti-Christ will hold pep rallies to encourage those Left Behind to accept his mark.

7. The Squad from Michael Newdow High thought they were a shoo-in to win the National Cheerleading Championship until they saw the squad from Enumclaw High lead the Budweiser Clydesdales into the arena.

Best of Rodney Dill .
The 999 Girl had called in sick that day so the squad was passed over by the Carolina Panthers.

Best of Submariner .
In their next formation, the 5 in red formed a pentogram with their legs and Rosemary, the girl in white, conceived the antichrist in the apex gap between their thighs.

And in an amazing coincidence, each of our phone numbers start with 900...

Nothing to see here; just the Mohammed High Pep Squad practicing their world-famous, 9 Aisha rollover. Just move along, folks.

Best of Cybrludite .
Making fun of satanic cheerleaders trying to steal our souls. Nice. Read their story. Educate yourselves, morons.

Satanica, I wish I knew how to quit you! (WIthout having to forfit my soul, that is...)

23 comments:

Jonathan said...

Someone forgot to tell the blonde that it's a "69", not a "666"!

Jonathan said...

Belle Z. Bubb announces her decision to attend the University of Texas.

radio free fred said...

"In The Back Of A Black Limousine That's When She First Showed It To Me And The Rest Of The Football Team."

Rodney Dill said...

The 999 Girl had called in sick that day so the squad was passed over by the Carolina Panthers.

Submariner said...

And in an amazing coincidence, each of our phone numbers start with 900...

Cybrludite said...

Making fun of satanic cheerleaders trying to steal our souls. Nice. Read their story. Educate yourselves, morons.

(PS: My verification word was "izadnc". Spoooooooky!)

Cybrludite said...

And now the cheerleading squad from Innsmouth High School, from scenic Innsmouth, Mass!

Submariner said...

Nothing to see here; just the Mohammed High Pep Squad practicing their world-famous, 9 Aisha rollover. Just move along, folks.


V.? You know, of course, that when you post this it means a fatwah on both our 'ouses!

Cybrludite said...

Satanica, I wish I knew how to quit you! (WIthout having to forfit my soul, that is...)

Submariner said...

Cybr; loved the second. i was playing around with a Salem cap along the same lines - damn slow connection!

Cybrludite said...

"Someone let Prouge know that his dates are here!" -- Last thing Prouge91 heard before the alarm clock woke him up.

Cybrludite said...

Sub, great minds think alike. As do ours.

Submariner said...

A rarely shown photo of Geena Davis from her prep school days.

Submariner said...

Inspired by her tattoos, yet having his advances rejected by the girl inspired a young Karl Rove to sell something precious to the master, establishing his mind-control powers and setting a malicious course for the world for decades to come.
1 Markos 2:1-2

Submariner said...

'Ow To Speak Awstraylian:
Beer Bottle Op'ner

Rodney Dill said...

Bill Clinton: "I feel your spirit ladies, but I only had 665 cigars."

Submariner said...

Woody Allen whined, "Why did you have to take that shot from the front?"

sonicfrog said...

So THAT'S what Tonya Harding's been up to.

Submariner said...

Charmed Redux

Submariner said...

Buffy took one look at the squad and just knew she was finally going to fit in at school.

Submariner said...

The New Jersey Devils unveil their new cheer-gals - The Demonettes. Jerry Falwell immediately filed a complaint.

radio free fred said...

Two Bits, Four Bits, Six Bits, A Dollar........That's A Lot Of Bang For A Buck!

Submariner said...

In their next formation, the 5 in red formed a pentogram with their legs and Rosemary, the girl in white, conceived the antichrist in the apex gap between their thighs.