Monday, March 27, 2006

Mondays with Morons

1. Mad-Lib: Andrew Sullivan and Barney Frank were (Adjective) to serve (Type of hors'oeuvre) stuffed with (bodily fuid) from (American Idol Contestant) before (Perverse Sexual Act).

2. "I will not eat them from a tray/I will not eat them with two transgendered she-males in silver lame..." Updating Green Eggs and Ham for the PC Era.

3. The challenge was to come up with a presentation that made haggis even less appealing, and they succeeded.

4. Scene from the classic dystopian French film, Soylent Verde.

5. His days of fame long gone, RuPaul is forced to hold bake sales to pay for his hormone treatments.

6. Lefties long for the days when transgendered performance artists have all the money they need, and the Pentagon has to hold a bake sale to pay for new weapons.

7. After the transporter accident had left the aliens embedded in a pair of tables, the Enterprise crew brought them some pastries.

8. Despite the similarities in the name, Brokeback Steakhouse offers a rather different dining experience.

9. "...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam."

10. The appearance of Ghostly 18th Century Courtesans bearing Scooby Snacks presented Shaggy with a classic 'Fight or Flight' scenario.

Best of Submariner
I'm Andrew and this is Barney. We are today's "Poo Poo platter special." If you like, you can wait for Elton's "horsecock in special cream sauce" a bit later...

Johnny Weir and his "date" caused quite a stir at the opening festivities for Ice Princess II.

Best of David Simon
"Yes Andrew, I'm sure this is the place where I read they're having a Big Dance party. Maybe all these stiffs will loosen up after they have a couple of cocktails."

Best of jeff
Excited at hearing that the San Remo casino in Vegas was hiring, they were ultimately disappointed to find out it was turning into a Hooters....

Best of Tomslick
Exactly how do you bang a tranny?
You roll them in flour and look for the brown spot.

Best of Occasional Reader
"You're all evil, and we hope you all have snacks!"

Best of prince of leaves
Louis Wu breathed a sigh of relief: the vampires may have discovered a cziltang brone, but they did not yet know how to use it correctly.

Best of Rodney Dill
At the all Transvestite Cookoff all the judges were warned to avoid any offers for tasting meatballs.

Best of radio free fred

"This Is What Micheal Jackson's Children Are Going To Look Like When They Grow Up, Best Case Scenario."

Best of Mr. Right
"Would you like some Salisbury Steak, children... or how about a taste of my Chocolate Salty Balls?"

From Detroit News Photoblog. Photo Credit: John T. Greilick

29 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"Does this table make my butt look fat?"

David Simon said...

"Egad, I just realized that we're wearing white before Memorial Day. What kind of homosexuals are we?"

Submariner said...

Um, no. The "King's" Table Buffet is over on 3rd...

David Simon said...

Hollywood continues its love affair with the gay community. In the latest Superman sequel, Mr. Freeze holes up in a Castro Street watering hole.

Submariner said...

No, silly; they couldn't possibly be my eggs, deviled, now could they?

Rodney Dill said...

"Got any cream pies?"

Submariner said...

Nothing to see here, folks. Just "Smorgasboard Day" at the Blue Oyster. Please move aloong...

Submariner said...

I'm Andrew and this is Barney. We are today's "Poo Poo platter special." If you like, you can wait for Elton's "horsecock in special cream sauce" a bit later...

Submariner said...

Johnny Weir and his "date" caused quite a stir at the opening festivities for Ice Princess II.

Submariner said...

Welcome to "Brokeback Diner." If you're a Hollywood producer, your meal is on us for just a little bit of versight of the production...

David Simon said...

"Yes Andrew, I'm sure this is the place where I read they're having a Big Dance party. Maybe all these stiffs will loosen up after they have a couple of cocktails."

jeff said...

Excited at hearing that the San Remo casino in Vegas was hiring, they were ultimately disappointed to find out it was turning into a Hooters....

Submariner said...

V. check out this pick at Fox funhouse: http://msn.foxsports.com/other/pgStory?contentId=5445614&pageNumber=6

sonicfrog said...

At the "Cream Puff" Bar and Grill, you don't go to your table, your table comes to you.

Tomslick said...

Exactly how do you bang a tranny?
You roll them in flour and look for the brown spot.

Rodney Dill said...

We're Cake, 'cause Pi are square.

The Man said...

Does the dress make me look fat?

Occasional Reader said...

"You're all evil, and we hope you all have snacks!"

prince of leaves said...

Louis Wu breathed a sigh of relief: the vampires may have discovered a cziltang brone, but they did not yet know how to use it correctly.

Rodney Dill said...

At the all Transvestite Cookoff all the judges were warned to avoid any offers for tasting meatballs.

Submariner said...

I'm "Platter of Cake" and this is "Pan of Pie." Won't you please take a piece of each of us and then pass us on to your friends?

Cybrludite said...

And yet this is still less wierd than some of what went on at Final Fantasm, much less what goes on in the French Quarter during Southern Decadance...

Cybrludite said...

Oh, and nice one, Prince of Leaves!

Submariner said...

Oh Andrew, Barney, how silly of you boys to even ask - of course we're not "frigid" but you can warm us up anyways...

radio free fred said...

Buffy The Buffet And Mable The Table ( "Can I Sit By The Window?" )

radio free fred said...

"This Is What Micheal Jackson's Children Are Going To Look Like When They Grow Up."

Mr. Right said...

"Would you like some Salisbury Steak, children... or how about a taste of my Chocolate Salty Balls?"

radio free fred said...

"The Desert Is Under The Table Fellas, Feel Free To drop Your Fork."

A. Weasel said...

Who's the 10' alien in the upper right, with the glowing eyes