1. "Yup, she's definitely sucking out my blood. I sure am doomed to walk the Earth as a slave of the undead. But, hey, at least I got laid."
2. Auditions for Thursday Hot Chick take a sinister turn.
3. Ah, the eternal dillemma. Wake her up, or gnaw my own arm off.
4. "A for Effort, dad, but I'm still gay."
5. "Soft... supple... oh, yeah, her skin is definitely going into my woman suit."
6. "So, Paula, do I get to advance to the next round of American Idol."
7. Now, to snap her neck and make my getaway.
8. Snapshot of Bill Clinton on his honeymoon. Not pictured: Hillary Clinton.
9. Hugh Grant frets about the impact of immigration reform on his ability to pick-up luscious Mexican whores.
10. "So, Simon, do I get to advance to the next round of American Idol?"
Best of jeff
Oh yeah hon, your right hand is perfect where it is... I don't suppose you could jiggle it though?
Best of AM42
What the hell- I might as well go one more round before she wakes up.
Best of David Simon
"Uh-oh. Looks like the worm wasn't the most disgusting thing I ate last night."
Best of Submariner
What in hades did I have last night? That sort of feels like beard stubble...
Take it easy sunshine; you want a nice chianti and fava beans to go with that shoulder?