Thursday, March 30, 2006

The J-o-o-s Stole the Sun!

1. "Yeah! Iranian m------f------s! That 10 megaton serving of bottled sunshine means we finally got serious about your nuke program!" And then I woke up.

2. "Aw, man! I can't wait to see what comes out when those guys open that Ark-of-the-Covenant watchamadinger!"

3. Muslim playuhs know nothing gets a date horny quicker than the awesome spectacle of a solar eclipse.

4. "Ah! A solar eclipse. One of the wonders of the universe. Well, enough of that, let's get back to work. France isn't going to burn itself."

5. "It's cloud of smug from George Clooney's Oscar Acceptance speech! It's going to kill us all!"

6. Tyrone Washington continues his goodwill tour of the Middle East.

7. As the Olsen Twins flew round and round the village, slaking themselves on the blood of virgins, the others could only pray that Van Helsing would come.

8. "So, if we touch the monolith, what happens?"

9. Something tells me the Palestinian Authority wasn't quite ready to take over air traffic control.

10. "Now, if you follow the arc of the missile's descent, we'll know exactly where to go for the car swarm."

Best of Cybrludite
GOJIRA!!!

"Iiiiie! An eclipse! No, wait. It's just a big Nets fan doing a cannonball into the pool..."

Best of Submariner
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's a frog!"
"Not bird, nor plane, nor even frog; 'tis only me, Underdog."
"Yeaaahhhhhh! MEAT for dinner!"

"Is that a dust-storm, daddy?"
"Far, far worse, Abu. It is am inescapable cloud of funk rolling down from France. Prepare for death..."

Best of The Man
In Islam, it is tradition to make the women look directly into the eclipse. Praise Allah.

Picture Tip and Title: El Hombre. Source: Mamoun Wazwaz/MaanImages/Roto-Reuters

16 comments:

Submariner said...

Look; it's the 12th Imam returning! Never mind, never mind; turns out to only be a French protester fired into the housing development by a seige engine...

ThatGayConservative said...

"Stuttering
Cold and damp
Steal the warm wind
Tired friend
Times are gone
For honest men
And sometimes
Far too long
For snakes
In my shoes
A walking sleep
And my youth
I pray to keep
Heaven send
Hell away
No one sings
Like you
Anymore
Black hole sun
Won’t you come
And wash away the rain
Black hole sun
Won’t you come
Won’t you come"

Rodney Dill said...

"These nude pics of Paris Hilton are really awesome."

Rodney Dill said...

Hillary arriving in the clouds to save the souls of the Liberal faithful.

radio free fred said...

Iranians Find Cache Of Sonny And Cher Cassettes.

Cybrludite said...

GOJIRA!!!

Cybrludite said...

"Iiiiie! An eclipse! No, wait. It's just a big Nets fan doing a cannonball into the pool..."

Submariner said...

"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's a frog!"
"Not bird, nor plane, nor even frog; 'tis only me, Underdog."
"Yeaaahhhhhh! MEAT for dinner!"

Submariner said...

Put a burkha on that woman! Do you want our boys corrupted?

Submariner said...

"Is that a dust-storm, daddy?"
"Far, far worse, Abu. It is am inescapable cloud of funk rolling down from France. Prepare for death..."

radio free fred said...

Future Blind Piano Players Hold Convention.

The Man said...

In Islam, it is tradition to make the women look directly into the eclipse. Praise Allah.

David Simon said...

"Mom is really starting to worry about all the time you're spending in front of the mirror, and with that creepy new Sullivan friend of yours, dad."

ThatGayConservative said...

Michael Moore does Baghdad

Submariner said...

The Imam prayed to Allah and the sun returns! Aloha Snackbar! Piss be upon him...

Fish-Lips said...

Arafat's famous nose had once accumulated many ‘fans’ who had been brainwashed so badly, they'd even held up placards showing how much they adored it.