1. "Yeah! Iranian m------f------s! That 10 megaton serving of bottled sunshine means we finally got serious about your nuke program!" And then I woke up.
2. "Aw, man! I can't wait to see what comes out when those guys open that Ark-of-the-Covenant watchamadinger!"
3. Muslim playuhs know nothing gets a date horny quicker than the awesome spectacle of a solar eclipse.
4. "Ah! A solar eclipse. One of the wonders of the universe. Well, enough of that, let's get back to work. France isn't going to burn itself."
5. "It's cloud of smug from George Clooney's Oscar Acceptance speech! It's going to kill us all!"
6. Tyrone Washington continues his goodwill tour of the Middle East.
7. As the Olsen Twins flew round and round the village, slaking themselves on the blood of virgins, the others could only pray that Van Helsing would come.
8. "So, if we touch the monolith, what happens?"
9. Something tells me the Palestinian Authority wasn't quite ready to take over air traffic control.
10. "Now, if you follow the arc of the missile's descent, we'll know exactly where to go for the car swarm."
Best of Cybrludite
"Iiiiie! An eclipse! No, wait. It's just a big Nets fan doing a cannonball into the pool..."
Best of Submariner
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's a frog!"
"Not bird, nor plane, nor even frog; 'tis only me, Underdog."
"Yeaaahhhhhh! MEAT for dinner!"
"Is that a dust-storm, daddy?"
"Far, far worse, Abu. It is am inescapable cloud of funk rolling down from France. Prepare for death..."
Best of The Man
In Islam, it is tradition to make the women look directly into the eclipse. Praise Allah.
Picture Tip and Title: El Hombre. Source: Mamoun Wazwaz/MaanImages/Roto-Reuters