Thursday, March 16, 2006

I'd Buy That For a Dollar

1. "Oh, don't you wish every girl was lucky enough grow up with a grandpa with magic hands like yours?"

2. "Now, watch as I make a Mentos magically appear under your left breast."

3. Uh-Oh! Cameras! "Ahem, and that, young lady, is how you unbutton a blouse in order to perform emergency CPR. This knowledge could save a life one day."

4. How to speak... pretty much any language on Earth: Lecher

5. Man, I am so looking forward to reading the 'Educate yourselves, Morons' captions on this one.

6. "Who would have thought that chubby little ginger boy in the pumpkin shirt would grow up to be such a fetching young lass?"

7. "Got a kiss for grandpa? How 'bout a screw?"

8. "Oh, Grandpa, you can't just come up and fondle my breasts like you did when I was little. You gotta pay like all the other johns."

Best of the paperboy .
Why, we're simply exchanging long protein strings. Can you think of a better way???

The alien symbiote finding that it prefers females to aging men with indigestion, prepares to transfer to another host in its insatiable quest for heavy metal music and high powered sports cars.

Best of Rodney Dill .
"Ya want that super-sized?"

Best of Submariner .
Gift wrapped Chinese horse-cock for me! Oh grandpa; you shouldn't have - seriously - now mom'll want to borrow it...

♪She sticks her left hand in;♪
♪She pulls her left hand out.♪
♪She sticks her left hand in;♪
♪And she shakes me all about...♪

Best of David Simon .
"No, no senora. You do not courtsey until I lie down."

"So, you can't see a thing without your glasses. Well let's see, I've got the face of Heath Ledger, the body of Mathew McConaughey and the penis of Ewan McGregor."

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell .
Max Cleland may only have one good appendage, but he sure knows how to use it!

Best of A.M. Mora y Leon .
'I'm trying to be restrained, it's this new Evita who's horny.'

Hat Tip: AM Mora y Leon and Yahoo News

23 comments:

The Man said...

No, it's not a double chin. I like to call it a butt rest.

jeff said...

Ooooh! That tickles!

Now dear, you put your hands down here...

Anonymous said...

Squeezably soft, nothing like an Argentine first lady!

MP Martin said...

Why, we're simply exchanging long protein strings. Can you think of a better way???

MP Martin said...

Making fun of some prehistoric senator trying to get some action with an intern. Nice. Read his story. Edumacamate yourselves. More-ons.

MP Martin said...

The alien symbiote finding that it prefers females to aging men with indigestion, prepares to transfer to another host in its insatiable quest for heavy metal music and high powered sports cars.

Chevy Rose said...

She wondered how the 16 years age difference would look after 38 thirty years of marriage?
Botox has it's benefits. She's gray and wrinkled now just like him!

Unknown said...

Aww, let's give him some slack, look what he did to Hugo Chavez at the same conference:

http://www.noticierodigital.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=66291

For cutting that thug dead, a man ought to be able enjoy a little cuchi-coo with the Argentine first lady.

It's only right.

Rodney Dill said...

"Ya want that super-sized?"

Steve B said...

It would be better if she actually brushed her teeth and ate a Tic Tac.

Rodney Dill said...

"Yes her mouth is permanently stuck in that position, she doesn't have Tourettes Syndrome, she has Suckettes Syndrome."

radio free fred said...

Law And Order (Special Vixen Unit)

Submariner said...

Gift wrapped Chinese horse-cock for me! Oh grandpa; you shouldn't have - seriously - now mom'll want to borrow it...

David Simon said...

"No, no senora. You do not courtsey until I lie down."

Submariner said...

No, sweetness. Use this hand. I don't know where your left has been...

Jonathan said...

Max Cleland may only have one good appendage, but he sure knows how to use it!

Submariner said...

Just like a Chinese, you get hungry just one hour after eating an Argentinian...

Critical Matt said...

Former Secretary of State George Schultz shows the true meaning of Jacksonian diplomacy - Talk softly (in her ear), and carry a BIG stick...

Submariner said...

♪She sticks her left hand in;♪
♪She pulls her left hand out.♪
♪She sticks her left hand in;♪
♪And she shakes me all about...♪

Submarienr said...

Pleasant, isn't it Mariah? I call it the "Venus Butterfly Tickle."

Submariner said...

Rod Steiger enjoys a regretably short "tete-a-tete" with Jennifer Love Hewitt.

David Simon said...

"So, you can't see a thing without your glasses. Well let's see, I've got the face of Heath Ledger, the body of Mathew McConaughey and the penis of Ewan McGregor."

"Ooh, take me, meester."

A.M. Mora y Leon said...

'I'm trying to be restrained, it's this new Evita who's horny.'