1. George cLooneyhas really let himself go... and also given in to his latent paedophiliac tendencies.
2. "Wow! An old man is offering me candy, and I haven't even killed any J-o-o-o-s.
3. "Me love you long time. Thirty dollar."
4. "Hey, boy, would you like to be 'Santa's Little Helper?'"
5. "Time to say goodbye to your friends. Ruth Bader Ginsburg needs a kidney."
6. "The people at these NAMBLA conventions are always such phonies."
7. "Well, sir, I'm not a licensed massage therapist, but $20 and a Milky Way, sure, I'll give it a shot."
8. Remember when you could lure a young boy into the back of your car with promises of gum and candy and a bunch of busy-body cops and social workers going apeshit? Pepperidge Farm remembers.
9. "It's a great system, really. Molest them until they are filled with self-loathing, then strap a bomb-belt to them. We call it, 'Raising Kids the Arafat Way.'"
10. "You like Popsicles? Then you need to come on down to the cellar. I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles. Mmmmmm."
Best of jeff
While I thank you for the jacket, "Uncle Jay," what happened to numbers 1 through 5?
Best of The Man
Have fun with Michael Jackson today, but stay away from the Allah Juice this time.
Best of Occasional Reader
"Gee, Your Hair Smells Like Semtex!" Children's Shampoo has been selling briskly in Gaza.
Best of ThatGayConservative
Slowly, Michael Moore begins his feast of Arab children to absorb their anti-West ideology as well as their souls.
Best of Cybrludite
Must... take over... younger... host... body...
Best of Rodney Dill
"So you're a real rock star, Mr Glitter?"
"Dad, why do you always say 'Bomb Away' when you see me off to school?"
Best of WALSTIB
Let's get them out of the way:
1. Abdul, do you like movies about gladiators?
2. You ever been in a cockpit before?
3. You ever seen a grown man naked?
4. Have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Tip from Dan at Strait Talk. Photo from Roto-REUTERS/Suhaib Salem Sahib Abu Skyhook