Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Fair and Balanced

1. It's not easy being green, but the view is okay.

2. Looks like the Stargate's event horizon could use some chlorine.

3. "I don't know, what do you get when you cross a tsunami with an algae bloom?"

4. Her juggling skills were minimal, but she nevertheless held the audience's rap attention.

5. "Good morning, campers. V just thought you guys might appreciate a pic that had no obvious Andrew Sullivan implications."

6. "Damn, lost another Mentos."

7. "All right, fine. I'll stimulate my own erogenous zones."

8. "That's it? Armpit farts? Move aside, amateurs."

Best of Submariner
What do ya think of these, Connie Chung?

Steve Martin isn't gonna fool me with that "Your breasts needed straightening" line again...

"Zonapelucidae?" Zonapelucidae! You gotta be f'n kidding me! The bimbo before me gets "star" and I get "zonapelucidae?" Crap! OK, just use that f'er in a sentence."

Best of T. Harris
Can you believe that Jimmy Kimmel gets to play with these?

Best of Rodney Dill
"No I can't move my hands, Ben Stiller is wearing his stupid green suit again and keeps trying to expose my boobs."

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Mary had a little lamb, its face as white as snow.
If I do this every day,my breasts will surely grow!"

"I don't understand why you want me to do this, but you are the junior Senator from New York, so what the hey!"

From Roto-Reuters on a tip from Cooter Davenport.

31 comments:

Rodney Dill said...

"...screw World Peace, I wanna bomb the Sh*t outta those Iranians'>

Rodney Dill said...

The crowd dared Margot to join the Boobs, not Bombs movement right there on the spot.

Rodney Dill said...

While Andrew Sullivan's question had been Define the Universe: Give three examples, Clara's question on Win a date with SOTG was -- Is a Frog's Ass watertight?

(I thought it was an obvious A.S. reference)

Submariner said...

ORA:

What do ya think of these, Connie Chung?

Submariner said...

Unlike Drew Carey's, I like this green-screen game...

Submariner said...

Auditions for the part of Monica Lewinsky were going well for George Clooney's fictional biography "Bill Clinton: My Life."

T. Harris said...

Can you believe that Jimmy Kimmel gets to play with these?

Submariner said...

Sorry, Will. The holodeck doesn't seem to be working today. I should be in a corset and stockings, and we should be in a flophouse on Bourbon Street...

radio free fred said...

"It Hurts When I Do This!"

Lyn said...

Women do not have one extra rib than men. Here let me show you.

Lyn said...

Everyone. Big breath in. Hold it. Hold it. Okay, slowly exhale.

Lyn said...

Corset? Of course not!

Lyn said...

Why are you looking at my flaring nostrils? I'm showing your something important.

Lyn said...

And finally, I'd like to thank the academy's plastic surgeons for these.

Submariner said...

Riffing on the Jimmy Kimmel cap
I applied to be a "Juggy" but they claimed these weren't big enough...

Rodney Dill said...

"No I can't move my hands, Ben Stiller is wearing his stupid green suit again and keeps trying to expose my boobs."

T. Harris said...

I can't remember this comedienne's name (Silverstein?), but she is with Jimmy Kimmel.

Submariner said...

In honor of my idol, Cindy Sleazebag - the mother of all media whore's, I dedicate these to eventually nursing a publicity ticket...

Submariner said...

ORA:

Steve Martin isn't gonna fool me with that "Your breasts needed straightening" line again...

Submariner said...

"Zonapelucidae?" Zonapelucidae! You gotta be f'n kidding me! The bimbo before me gets "star" and I get "zonapelucidae?" Crap! OK, just use that f'er in a sentence."

The Brooklyn spelling bee gets testy...

Submariner said...

I don't need an American Express. I've got these!

divine miss M said...

"...And as you can see here, the strapless model is designed to lift, separate, and keep your ears warm."

Cybrludite said...

(Stolen from Mr. Right in the next post...)

"I am Bender... please insert girder."

Submariner said...

ORA:

If there was one thing life had taught Trillian, it was that there is a time to return for your bag, and a time to straighten your breasts for the camera. This was definitely the later...

Submariner said...

Wednesday? He posted me on Wednesday instead of Thursday!?!?
If I get ahold of that "V. the K." @$$hole, I'm gonna give him a double karate chop!

radio free fred said...

"Call 911 My Aqua Bra Is Leaking!"

Jonathan said...

"Mary had a little lamb,
its face as white as snow.
If I do this every day,
my breasts will surely grow!"

Jonathan said...

"I don't understand why you want me to do this, but you are the junior Senator from New York, so what the hey!"

Jonathan said...

"I don't understand why you want me to do this, but you are the former president of the United States, so what the hey!"

Submariner said...

shamelessly stolen from Jonathan Leffingwell:
"I don't understand why you want me to do this, but you are the president of Comedy Central, so what the hey!"

Lyn said...

What? Lyn didn't get a 'breast of' caption mention?!