Friday, March 17, 2006

Does This Look Infected?

1. "That smells like Paula Abdul, bro'" "Wrong, it's Clay Aiken."

2. "Sniper!"

3. "Dude, my hands are, like, huge."

4. "There, third row behind the bench. She's totally not wearing panties."

5. A young David Palmer wonders if he's in good hands with this particular ref.

6. "You've got a little schmutz on your cheek. Here, I'll get it."

Best of Submariner .
Smells like "teen spirit," don't it?

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell .
Player: "C'mon, Coach! Don't let this ref pick my nose!"
Coach: "Sorry, Kamal, but he said he'll waive the foul if you let him. I know, it's sick, but we're down by two right now!"

"Watch, Coach! I bet Kamal will fall for the old 'Curly poke to the eyes' trick!"

"Had you gone to Texas instead of A&M, Kamal, you could have had that Satanic cheerleader right up there!"

Best of The Man .
YOU. Screwed up my Yahoo! March Madness Bracket.

Best of David Simon .
"No, I'm not gonna pull it. I meant to say truth and you know it."

"Okay Kamal, let's start over. First comes one, next comes two. Damn, I hate these new academic standards for college athletes."

"He just called me a poopyhead, coach."

Best of Rodney Dill .
"He said his cheerleaders were gonna hex me."

Best of sonicfrog .
"...and now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his nose..."

Best of Silhouette .
No, this is the sign for "D". You're doing the sign for "happy."

Best of Submariner .
Really, Kwame. Wipe your face before leaving the opposing team's locker room...

Best of Anonymous .
Don't give me any of that "Whatchew talkin' bout, Willis?" stuff, young man. Mr. ATF Agent here is going to keep your MAC-10 up in the Press Box until after the game, and that's all there is to it!

Best of WALSTIB .
Ref: Sh*t man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Kamal: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
Ref: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Kamal: UH...
Ref: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Kamal: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
Ref: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
Ref and Kamal: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
Ref: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.

Best of D-Max .
"My butt itches and my finger smells."

Best of Van Helsing .
"Isn't that booger driving you crazy?"



(I'm also not that into basketball) ROTO-REUTERS/Mark Wallheiser

28 comments:

jeff said...

Zebra: Dude, I've got more talent in this finger than you've displayed all game.
Suit: He's right - he does.

Jonathan said...

"This your contact lens?"

Submariner said...

Smells like "teen spirit," don't it?

Jonathan said...

Player: "C'mon, Coach! Don't let this ref pick my nose!"

Coach: "Sorry, Kamal, but he said he'll waive the foul if you let him. I know, it's sick, but we're down by two right now!"

Jonathan said...

"Watch, Coach! I bet Kamal will fall for the old 'Curly poke to the eyes' trick!"

Jonathan said...

"Had you gone to Texas instead of A&M, Kamal, you could have had that Satanic cheerleader right up there!"

The Man said...

YOU. Screwed up my Yahoo! March Madness Bracket.

David Simon said...

"No, I'm not gonna pull it. I meant to say truth and you know it."

David Simon said...

"Okay Kamal, let's start over. First comes one, next comes two. Damn, I hate these new academic standards for college athletes."

David Simon said...

"He just called me a poopyhead, coach."

"No, I didn't."

"Alright you two, break it up."

Rodney Dill said...

"See both sides of his mouths, he's been double dribbling."

Rodney Dill said...

"Hmmm, smells like robot tranny fluid to me... you pervert"

Rodney Dill said...

"He said his cheerleaders were gonna hex me."

sonicfrog said...

"...and now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his nose..."

Silhouette said...

No, this is the sign for "D". You're doing the sign for "happy."

Although your coach might be "happy" if you'd stop fooling around and play some "D."

Silhouette said...

The NCAA cracked down on alcohol abuse this weekend by instituting on-court sobriety tests.

"Follow my finger..."

Submariner said...

Really, Kwame. Wipe your face before leaving the opposing team's locker room...

Submariner said...

You're right; once you get your NBA contract you can own ten of me. But until that time, boy, I own you!

Submariner said...

Coach! Get this man to erase that scowl over my calls or I'm giving you a T for excessive ugliness...

Anonymous said...

I don't care if a fat, Mexican, leprechaun DID run off with your girlfriend at the parade. One more "Yo mama" out of you and you'll be visiting "Mr. Showers" for the rest of the game!

Anonymous said...

Don't give me any of that "Whatchew talkin' bout, Willis?" stuff, young man. Mr. ATF Agent here is going to keep your MAC-10 up in the Press Box until after the game, and that's all there is to it!

divine miss M said...

Like, wow, man, maybe dropping acid with the referee in the wee hours wasn't such a good idea after all.

radio free fred said...

"Pull My Finger."

WALSTIB said...

Ref: Sh*t man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Kamal: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
Ref: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Kamal: UH...
Ref: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Kamal: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
Ref: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
Ref and Kamal: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
Ref: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.
Coach: Does anyone here speak Jive??

D-Max said...

"My butt itches and my finger smells."

Van Helsing said...

"Isn't that booger driving you crazy?"

Van Helsing said...

"Isn't that booger driving you crazy?"

Six Degrees of Blondness said...

"Put that finger away. You don't know where it's been."