1. "That smells like Paula Abdul, bro'" "Wrong, it's Clay Aiken."
3. "Dude, my hands are, like, huge."
4. "There, third row behind the bench. She's totally not wearing panties."
5. A young David Palmer wonders if he's in good hands with this particular ref.
6. "You've got a little schmutz on your cheek. Here, I'll get it."
Best of Submariner .
Smells like "teen spirit," don't it?
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell .
Player: "C'mon, Coach! Don't let this ref pick my nose!"
Coach: "Sorry, Kamal, but he said he'll waive the foul if you let him. I know, it's sick, but we're down by two right now!"
"Watch, Coach! I bet Kamal will fall for the old 'Curly poke to the eyes' trick!"
"Had you gone to Texas instead of A&M, Kamal, you could have had that Satanic cheerleader right up there!"
Best of The Man .
YOU. Screwed up my Yahoo! March Madness Bracket.
Best of David Simon .
"No, I'm not gonna pull it. I meant to say truth and you know it."
"Okay Kamal, let's start over. First comes one, next comes two. Damn, I hate these new academic standards for college athletes."
"He just called me a poopyhead, coach."
Best of Rodney Dill .
"He said his cheerleaders were gonna hex me."
Best of sonicfrog .
"...and now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his nose..."
Best of Silhouette .
No, this is the sign for "D". You're doing the sign for "happy."
Best of Submariner .
Really, Kwame. Wipe your face before leaving the opposing team's locker room...
Best of Anonymous .
Don't give me any of that "Whatchew talkin' bout, Willis?" stuff, young man. Mr. ATF Agent here is going to keep your MAC-10 up in the Press Box until after the game, and that's all there is to it!
Best of WALSTIB .
Ref: Sh*t man, that honky mus' be messin' my old lady... got to be runnin' cold upside down his head. You know?
Kamal: Hey home, I can dig it. You know he ain't gonna lay no mo' big rap up on you man.
Ref: I say hey sky, s'other s'ay I wan say?
Ref: Pray to J I get the same ol' same ol'.
Kamal: Eh. Yo knock yourself a pro slick, gray matter live performas down now take TCB'in man.
Ref: Hey, you know what they say... See a broad, to get that booty yak 'em.
Ref and Kamal: Leg 'er down 'n smack 'em yak 'em
Ref: Cold got to be. You know? Shiiiiit.
Best of D-Max .
"My butt itches and my finger smells."
Best of Van Helsing .
"Isn't that booger driving you crazy?"
(I'm also not that into basketball) ROTO-REUTERS/Mark Wallheiser