Monday, March 20, 2006

Chick With a Book Hat

1. Ironically, the book was The Man Who Thought His Wife Was a Hat.

2. In the Paris version, the chick is wearing a burqa and the book is on fire.

3. Rumsfeld disabled the voracious fembot with one well-thrown copy of A La Recherche du Temps Perdu.

4. The bunny with the pancake on its head is s-o-o-o-o-o-o jealous.

5. Who came up with the brilliant idea of having someone who thinks Candide is a shade of nail polish promote literacy?

6. "How to Perform a Home Alignment Check," Chapter 28 of the Stepford Wife Owner's Manual.

7. Endive turned over Mohammed Atta's library records to the FBI, and soon felt the wrath of the American Library Association Mafia.

8. The entire book consists of nothing but a list of reasons she will not date Bill Maher.

9. Each model was told to pick the book that had most influenced her life. Endive chose Sultry Pouting for Dummies.

10. And you thought bibliophilia was just a fancy word for book-collecting.

Best of Phil
In the dress ordered for Jessica Simpson, a coloring book is used.

Best of The Man
Behold, the librarian at the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Don't Read Good.

Muslims took to the streets after a Danish fashion show where the Koran was used as a hat. A peaceful hat.

Best of David Simon
Models learn to walk with books on their heads. Leave it to a blond to strap it on.

Best of andthenblammo!
"So I'm all like, woah, Mr. Bigshot Judge, like, hey, if Granny didn't want to get run over, she should have noticed my cell phone had fallen into my soy latte and that I had to run that red light cause, omigod I was like totally late for Pilates class, so she shouldn't have clopped her walker in front of my Escalade, and the blood totally ruined my wax job, and he's all like, 'Young lady, you're a menace to society, and I'm throwing the book at you!', and I was all like, whatever. Now my head hurts."

Best of radio free fred
"Now That's What I Call A Table Of Contents."

Best of Submariner
Joe Biden loved it; course he claimed to have written it.

The awkward need not apply at Barnes and Noble...

Best of Rodney Dill
"Care for a Ream?"

How to Read Women - for dummies

Best of T. Harris
Hey look, somebody finally figured out a practical use for a Noam Chomsky book!

Best of jbinnout
After creating the internet, Algore asked his friend Bill to come up with a spell checker.

Best of the paperboy
No, no, dear. You strap on this part, and throw the instructions away.

(Freshmen / blondes / Hellen Thomas / Debra Lafave / liberals - take your pick) always attempt the often tried, but never true method of learning by osmosis.

I thought of saving what The Man tipped me to (Yahoo News) for Thursday, but I'll gamble that a hotter chick with less clothing will turn up twixt now and then.

36 comments:

nevergrewup said...

"And just what makes you think that you can read my mind?"

Submariner said...

You're like an open book to me, Shallot.

Rodney Dill said...

In a bind?

David Simon said...

In the Saudi Arabia version, the book is Mein Kampf.

tuffbeingright said...

1. "oh dahhling, you can read me like a book... how do you do it?"

---

2. In the dress ordered for Jessica Simpson, a coloring book is used.

The Man said...

Behold, the librarian at the Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Don't Read Good.

David Simon said...

Models learn to walk with books on their heads. Leave it to a blond to strap it on.

The Man said...

Muslims took to the streets after a Danish fashion show where the Koran was used as a hat. A peaceful hat.

The Man said...

Andrew Sullivan's girlfriend finally found a way to have him spend time with her. Tie the screenplay of Brokeback Mountain to her head.

Rodney Dill said...

I just won't date her again, the last time we met shet closed the book on the peni... relationship

Rodney Dill said...

make that she not shet

andthenblammo! said...

"So I'm all like, woah, Mr. Bigshot Judge, like, hey, if Granny didn't want to get run over, she should have noticed my cell phone had fallen into my soy latte and that I had to run that red light cause, omigod I was like totally late for Pilates class, so she shouldn't have clopped her walker in front of my Escalade, and the blood totally ruined my wax job, and he's all like, 'Young lady, you're a menace to society, and I'm throwing the book at you!', and I was all like, whatever. Now my head hurts."

andthenblammo! said...

Danno figured that after 699 "Book her, Danno"'s, McGarrett might appreciate something different for the 700th. Danno, unfortunately, was very, very wrong.

radio free fred said...

"Now That's What I Call A Table Of Contents."

sonicfrog said...

Yeah, well my girlfriend's booksmart too!!!

Penelope found a "NOVEL" way to get ordinary guys to joint the book of the month club.

Rodney Dill said...

The only problem with wearing a Koran for a hat is the smell of urine.

Rodney Dill said...

It was settled then, I was going to marry a nice Irish girl by the name of Ann, Ann O'tated.

Lyn said...

This is Page 007, member of the secret organization, the Illiterati.

Lyn said...

My name is Page, dahling!

Lyn said...

Oh, better yet: Pagent 007. Use whatever works. :-)

Submariner said...

Unlike the other models, Parsley always had heavy, important thoughts on her mind...

Submariner said...

'twould have been more impressive, had it not been Candide.

Submariner said...

Joe Biden loved it; course he claimed to have written it.

Rodney Dill said...

"Care for a Ream?"

T. Harris said...

Ugly women can accessorize this hot new look with a matching book bag.

T. Harris said...

Hey look, somebody finally figured out a practical use for a Noam Chomsky book!

Submariner said...

Ingrid later regretted her choice of headgear for the Nazi book-burning party; though only for a very short time...

jbinnout said...

After creating the internet, Algore asked his friend Bill to come up with a spell checker.

Rodney Dill said...

How to Read Women - for dummies

Submariner said...

'Tis true: the awkward need not apply at Barnes and Noble...

Submariner said...

One early rejection; obsessive reader. In fact, the producers went through hundreds of "habits" for Sally Field before settling on Catholicism...

Jonathan said...

"I figured out a way to make sure guys aren't looking down my shirt! 'Quick, what's it say on Page 4?'"

MP Martin said...

No, no, dear. You strap on this part, and throw the instructions away.

MP Martin said...

(Freshmen / blondes / Hellen Thomas / Debra Lafave / liberals - take your pick) always attempt the often tried, but never true method of learning by osmosis.

MP Martin said...

A: "A fashion designer, the Koran, and Napolean."
Q: "Name three deranged french dictators."

Submariner said...

Paige Turner figured she had a lock on the publishing industry internship...