Monday, February 13, 2006

White Dopes on Punk

1. The Humungous's new trophy wife prepares to meet the press.

2. "Which do you like better, the Mango Love Butter or the Licorice?"

3. ORA -- Anarkey tried to avoid staring at the entire squadron of tiny Shadow Attack Ships that was clinging to the back of Rancid's head.

4. E.R. makes a desperate play for the youth market by hiring Marilyn Manson as "Dr. Punk."

5. "Well, maybe if your diet included more than black coffee and organic vegetables, little Mexican girls wouldn't kick your ass so regularly."

6. Looking at this picture reminds one of the real tragedy of the Cheney shooting incident... that valuable ammunition was wasted that could have been used on people like this.

7. Evidently, the Borg tried to assimilate Rancid, then they spit him right back out.

8. You know, an "I wish I knew how to quit you" caption here would just be redundant.

9. "Despite the bruises, you're the lucky one. The other guy didn't even leave Thunderdome."

10. "I can't believe Ed Norton and Brad Pitt both kicked your ass."

Best of Jonathan H
"One second. You still got some of my jizz on your lip there."

Best of David Simon
The makeup session abrubtly ended when a Polish maid grabbed punk boy's legs and did some light dusting.

"I always do his makeup," Freddy Felcher explained. "I want to make sure that I'm not the only one who looks like an idiot."

"Because your breath smells worse than the collective used jock straps of the 49ers offensive line. Now open your damn mouth and pop this Altoid!"

Best of jeff
"Now this is going to sting a bit...Stand still!"

Yep, that's cold sore. Let me put some salve on it...and remember, no snogging for us tonight!

Best of catbat
Everybody shut up, 'cause they're in love and I think so am I.

"you never listen to me. i told you not to start a pit at the gwen stefani concert."

Best of Divine miss M
"So, you're saying that a generalization of the Kronecker decomposition theorem states that every finitely generated Abelian group is isomorphic to the group direct sum of a finite number of groups, each of which is either cyclic of prime power order or isomorphic to Z? No sh*t?"

Best of Rodney Dill
"Oh the Bush twins are so ready for us."

Best of Submariner
You know, sweetie, it would be a lot faster and easier if you let me just make real bruises...

Your Yin-Yang chili-pepper earring and Matrix head port? FAB-ulous, darling!

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Why, yes...that is a stone crab claw hanging from my ear! And I am happy to see you!"

Best of Robert
I just love the way this shade brings out the color in your black-n-blue marks.

Found this at SFGate. No surprise there. Hey, have you ever notice you never see any African-American punks? I wonder what's up with that. Am I racist for even thinking about that? Dawn, are you still out there? Little help?

26 comments:

Jonathan H said...

"One second. You still got some of my jizz on your lip there."

David Simon said...

The makeup session abrubtly ended when a Polish maid grabbed punk boy's legs and did some light dusting.

David Simon said...

"I always do his makeup," Freddy Felcher explained. "I want to make sure that I'm not the only one who looks like an idiot."

David Simon said...

"Because your breath smells worse than the collective used jock straps of the 49ers offensive line. Now open your damn mouth and pop this Altoid!"

jeff said...

"Now this is going to sting a bit...Stand still!"

Jonathan H said...

"So, what do you want for Valentines day besides the rest of that cheetah's hair?"

T. Harris said...

Life truly is stranger than fiction.

Oh, I get it. The clown on the left has a fake "bald" cap on. Actually having his head shaved would be a bit much. Then he'd look REALLY stupid.

"Sir, Yes Sir! (Man, I can't wait to do this to the underclassmen.)"

Randy lost the coin toss but was greatly relieved that Lonnie won and opted for the pheasant feathers instead of the skunk corpse.

David Simon said...

"Just because you've got a couple of saps convinced it's Halloween doesn't mean you can get me to quit smoking," a skeptical Susan Estrich told the hypnotist.

David Simon said...

"So, do either of you have a girlfriend?" asked Jessica Simpson.

catbat said...

everybody shut up, 'cause they're in love and i think so am i.

divine miss M said...

"Next time you hold down the baby giraffe while I pour the brightly-colored machine parts into the bathtub, man, that little guy can kick!"

catbat said...

"you never listen to me. i told you not to start a pit at the gwen stefani concert."

"but, man... that shit was bananas."

divine miss M said...

"So, you're saying that a generalization of the Kronecker decomposition theorem states that every finitely generated Abelian group is isomorphic to the group direct sum of a finite number of groups, each of which is either cyclic of prime power order or isomorphic to Z? No sh*t?"

Rodney Dill said...

"Oh the Bush twins are so ready for us."

Rodney Dill said...

Wimachtendienk, Wingolauchsik, Witahemui.

Van Helsing said...

Anarkey's new fashion accessory makes expensive television sets unnecessary. He simply plugs the cable cord into the side of his head. Unfortunately he is only able to receive imaginary channels.

Submariner said...

Whoa, V! Back in the 60's I screwed a parrot while tripping on acid and for a second I thought I had progeny...

Submariner said...

You know, sweetie, it would be a lot faster and easier if you let me just make real bruises...

Submariner said...

Your Yin-Yang chili-pepper earring and Matrix head port? FAB-ulous, darling!

Submariner said...

Heath: "Couldn't you use a different appendage to put on the lip gloss?"

Jake: "I can't get my toe that high, so no."

Cybrludite said...

I think my sister dated these guys back in the day...

Jonathan said...

"Why, yes...that is a stone crab claw hanging from my ear!"

David Simon said...

I think my sister dated these guys back in the day...

Wrong sibling, dude.

Robert said...

I just love the way this shade brings out the color in your black-n-blue marks.

David Simon said...

Sculptor Freddie Felcher puts the finishing touches on his latest work, Manimal. "It's a metaphor for all the ugliness in the world today," Freddie explained. "I mean really, what right do we have to tell women what they can do with their own bodies?"

jeff said...

Yep, that's cold sore. Let me put some salve on it...and remember, no snogging for us tonight!