Tuesday, February 28, 2006

When Is a Chicken Like a Cat?

1. "He's magnificent," Andrew Sullivan whispered huskily. "I must have him."

2. What Markos Zuniga would be doing today if Al Gore had not invented the internet.

3. A sleepover at the Neverland Ranch can have lifelong consequences.

4. How nature says, "Do not touch."

5. Mr. Craig the shop teacher finally comes out about his illicit relationship with Mr. Rothwell, the drama teacher during a Kenwood High pep rally.

6. Although the producers of '24' were very impressed with Keanu Reeves' subtle portrayal of one man's descent into madness, they decided to go with Sean Astin instead.

7. According to legend, Dick Cheney once used a mountain lion as a condom. John Kerry on the other hand...

8. After the marathon committee ran out of loincloths, latecomers had to make-do.

9. The PETA nutbag who canged his name to KentuckyFriedCrueltydotcom takes the next logical step.

10. Well, I think what we can guess what at least one of the 11 herbs and spices was.

Best of Dusty .
In his next movie, Alec Baldwin will portray Dan Rather.

Best of T. Harris .
What a dumbass. Everyone knows that rubber chickens go with penny loafers, not high-tops.

Best of jeff .
It was all fun and games until the tape holding the chicken on... had to come off.

Best of Rodney Dill .
One of the events you never see in the Olympic televised coverage is what they do to the person that places last in the Luge.

Jim Perdue was a troubled young adult.

Best of Rodney .
"Can I get the boneless chicken instead?"

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell .
Kato Kaelin has REALLY hit rock bottom these days, hasn't he?

Best of Submariner .
Uh, Matt? When Katie told you to go "choke yer chicken," that's not exactly what she meant.

Oh, Foghorn, I wish I knew how to quit you...

After the cop grabbed the chicken, he still didn't require pixellation on ABC. Lanny kept screaming "It's freakin' cold, dammit. That's all!"

Best of Critical Matt .
Will you buy a car from this man? Bill Ford shows off his new Volvo ad campaign targeting eco friendly buyers...

Best of The Man .
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
A:Because it was taped to the GoldenPalace.com guy.

Best of jbinnout .
At least he's not going off half cocked.

Best of sonicfrog .
"Bicock! Bicock!"

Nice Cock!!! There! I Said It!

Best of Son Of The Godfather .
"Bartender?... I'll have what he's having."

This is Bob.
Why does Bob look so unhappy?
Perhaps it's because he hasn't tried Enzyte™ for that dead pecker between his legs.

"Good Evening, Mr.Submariner... I'm here to pick up your daughter for prom..."

"For Christ's sake, man, show some class! You're at Berkeley after all! Those gloves will never go with that hat!"

The reprogrammed Dorkinater-1000 had been successfully sent back in time to destroy the leader of the Dork Rebellion in the present. Al Franken would have to watch over his shoulder from now on.

Best of TGC .
The precise moment when the Mr. Gumby sketches ceased to be funny.

Thanks: Russ in Oregon.

58 comments:

T. Harris said...

Larry's plan was working to perfection. He knew that the rubber chicken he was wearing could now be sold on Ebay for a mighty tidy sum.

T. Harris said...

What a dumbass. Everyone knows that rubber chickens go with penny loafers, not high-tops.

T. Harris said...

"What the fuck are YOU lookin' at?"

bad-d-d-dude said...

"Are you a Bodeist?"

jbinnout said...

Whitey meats bird flu.

nevergrewup said...

There was no longer any question about it, the referee had been correct in calling a fowl against the player.

jeff said...

Golden Palace.com continues on their streak of really pissing people off.

It was all fun and games until the tape holding the chicken on... had to come off.

And here I thought the Scots were into sheep...

Submariner said...

From the mittens I can see he was cold-cocked during this stunt.


Don't aaarrrgh! me SOTG - you've used worse.

Lyn said...

I should have stuck with "Soy Bomb."

Van Helsing said...

I thought UN peacekeepers wore blue helmets.

Rodney Dill said...

One of the events you never see in the Olympic televised coverage is what they do to the person that places last in the Luge.

Rodney said...

Jim Perdue was a troubled young adult.

Rodney said...

"On second thought, I think I'll have a hamburger."

"Can I get the boneless chicken instead?"

Critical Matt said...

Canadians take curling to new heights, er lows, depending on your point of view...

Submariner said...

Reminds of the Far Side© cartoon, "One Day in the Rubber Human Factory."

Submariner said...

Henri ran through Montreal screaming, "Man-eating chicken! Man-eating chicken!" sadly arousing not one whit of curiosity. A better choice - "Man eating pussy!" - would have led to his salvation.

Jonathan said...

Kato Kaelin has REALLY hit rock bottom these days, hasn't he?

Submariner said...

Uh, Matt? When Katie told you to go "choke yer chicken," that's not exactly what she meant.

Submariner said...

David Niven said it best at the Oscars,
"The only laugh that man will ever get in his life is by stripping and showing off his shortcomings."

Critical Matt said...

Will you buy a car from this man? Bill Ford shows off his new Volvo ad campaign targeting eco friendly buyers...

Submariner said...

Noting the length of Lanny's ladder behind him, I realize, it don't go all the way to the top.

Submariner said...

Oh, Foghorn, I wish I knew how to quit you...

Submariner said...

After the cop grabbed the chicken, he still didn't require pixellation on ABC. Lanny kept screaming "It's freakin' cold, dammit. That's all!"

Critical Matt said...

As you can well see, the photo is turned 90 degrees to the right. This is actually Spiderman on the side of a building in the costume he designed before the wrestling match.

The Man said...

Finally a part of curling that makes sense.

The Man said...

Another cut scene from the latest season of 24. Tony wakes up with mild brain damage and takes to molesting rubber chickens. Forcing Jack to choose between his friend and saving Los Angeles.

The Man said...

Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
A:Because it was taped to the GoldenPalace.com guy.

Dusty said...

In his next movie, Alec Baldwin will portray Dan Rather.

jbinnout said...

At least he's not going off half cocked.

sonicfrog said...

If you ever heard the expression "Choking the Chicken" but didn't know what it meant; this is close, but no cigar!

sonicfrog said...

"Bicock! Bicock!"

sonicfrog said...

Nice Cock!!!

There! I Said It!

Rodney Dill said...

Sorry, the year of the Cock is over.

Submariner said...

Afterwards, the rooster complained that Larry couldn't choke him, if you know what I mean...

Submariner said...

Larry couldn't understand why he wasn't getting invites to any University parties; after all, he did one helluva "Chicken Dance."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Bartender?... I'll have what he's having."

Submariner said...
"Don't aaarrrgh! me SOTG - you've used worse."

Sub, that's a G-damned lie!... err... at least in this caption thread... err... so far... heh.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Apparently this man took the literal interpretation of "doing" the Funky Chicken.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Hey guys, does your nut-sack look like a turkey neck too?"

Son Of The Godfather said...

This is Bob.
Why does Bob look so unhappy?
Perhaps it's because he hasn't tried Enzyte™ for that dead pecker between his legs.

Son Of The Godfather said...

"Good Evening, Mr.Submariner... I'm here to pick up your daughter for prom..."

Son Of The Godfather said...

"For Christ's sake, man, show some class! You're at Berkeley after all! Those gloves will never go with that hat!"

Son Of The Godfather said...

The reprogrammed Dorkinater-1000 had been successfully sent back in time to destroy the leader of the Dork Rebellion in the present. Al Franken would have to watch over his shoulder from now on.

Son Of The Godfather said...

VH-1's Where Are They Now:
Broke, aged, and molting, Foghorn Leghorn was forced into a life of chicken-whoring himself out for a quick methamphetamine fix.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Q: What's white and comes in chickens?
A: An egg! (you filthy bastards)

Rodney Dill said...

Chicken Archery takes on an evil twist.

Submariner said...

inspired by SOTG - go to http://www.strangepolitics.com/content/item/16271.html for the accompanying pic (couldn't get the href to work.)

Al Franken decides to eschew teddy bears for rubber chickens as a fund-raiser for Err Amerika.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Man, it sure took some chicken nuggets to pull that stunt.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Things your guidance counselor may have neglected to tell you:
A good time to re-examine your life choices is before you are photographed in front of millions of people with a rubber chicken tapped to your genitalia.

radio free fred said...

"Do ya wanna see chickie a little longer?"

Submariner said...

Bill Clinton always did have way with the chicks.

Submariner said...

The trial runs showed that Sean didn't have enough "surface area" to tape the chicken to without it falling off. Unfortunately for Sean, he chose to resolve this problem with Gorilla Glue®. Even more unfortunately for Sean, the police didn't know this when he was booked, and simply jerked it off.

Rodney Dill said...

Edmund was a veritable chick magnet.

Submariner said...

Johnny English, man of mystery...

Submariner said...

Nothing to see here folks; just another escapee from DC's "School For The Gifted" in the No Logic Zone. Please move along...

David Simon said...

"Sex change operations are free in Canada, but you get what you pay for eh."

radio free fred said...

"Nancy Reagan said it best;Just say NO!"

TGC said...

The moment when the Mr. Gumby sketches ceased to be funny.

Rodney Dill said...

Oops, the Rodney and Rodney Dill are both me, I'll have to clean up my blogger accounts