1. "He's magnificent," Andrew Sullivan whispered huskily. "I must have him."
2. What Markos Zuniga would be doing today if Al Gore had not invented the internet.
3. A sleepover at the Neverland Ranch can have lifelong consequences.
4. How nature says, "Do not touch."
5. Mr. Craig the shop teacher finally comes out about his illicit relationship with Mr. Rothwell, the drama teacher during a Kenwood High pep rally.
6. Although the producers of '24' were very impressed with Keanu Reeves' subtle portrayal of one man's descent into madness, they decided to go with Sean Astin instead.
7. According to legend, Dick Cheney once used a mountain lion as a condom. John Kerry on the other hand...
8. After the marathon committee ran out of loincloths, latecomers had to make-do.
9. The PETA nutbag who canged his name to KentuckyFriedCrueltydotcom takes the next logical step.
10. Well, I think what we can guess what at least one of the 11 herbs and spices was.
Best of Dusty .
In his next movie, Alec Baldwin will portray Dan Rather.
Best of T. Harris .
What a dumbass. Everyone knows that rubber chickens go with penny loafers, not high-tops.
Best of jeff .
It was all fun and games until the tape holding the chicken on... had to come off.
Best of Rodney Dill .
One of the events you never see in the Olympic televised coverage is what they do to the person that places last in the Luge.
Jim Perdue was a troubled young adult.
Best of Rodney .
"Can I get the boneless chicken instead?"
Best of Jonathan Leffingwell .
Kato Kaelin has REALLY hit rock bottom these days, hasn't he?
Best of Submariner .
Uh, Matt? When Katie told you to go "choke yer chicken," that's not exactly what she meant.
Oh, Foghorn, I wish I knew how to quit you...
After the cop grabbed the chicken, he still didn't require pixellation on ABC. Lanny kept screaming "It's freakin' cold, dammit. That's all!"
Best of Critical Matt .
Will you buy a car from this man? Bill Ford shows off his new Volvo ad campaign targeting eco friendly buyers...
Best of The Man .
Q:Why did the chicken cross the road?
A:Because it was taped to the GoldenPalace.com guy.
Best of jbinnout .
At least he's not going off half cocked.
Best of sonicfrog .
Nice Cock!!! There! I Said It!
Best of Son Of The Godfather .
"Bartender?... I'll have what he's having."
This is Bob.
Why does Bob look so unhappy?
Perhaps it's because he hasn't tried Enzyte™ for that dead pecker between his legs.
"Good Evening, Mr.Submariner... I'm here to pick up your daughter for prom..."
"For Christ's sake, man, show some class! You're at Berkeley after all! Those gloves will never go with that hat!"
The reprogrammed Dorkinater-1000 had been successfully sent back in time to destroy the leader of the Dork Rebellion in the present. Al Franken would have to watch over his shoulder from now on.
Best of TGC .
The precise moment when the Mr. Gumby sketches ceased to be funny.
Thanks: Russ in Oregon.