Friday, February 24, 2006

Welcome to Weekend Americana

1. The Eastside Swingers Club has been meeting every Thursday since 1969.

2. The vote was unanimous. Young people suck.

3. "Aw, screw the law. I say we all vote 'Guilty' and nail that Martha Stewart biyatch."

4. The producers of The Apprentice present a new reality series, The Wal-Mart Greeter

5. "The Sun City Residents Association... you'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villany."

6. "All right! We were all molested by Strom Thurmond. It was highly traumatic! Leave us alone."

7. "Is that true, Earl. All of us are listed on your 'dead pool?'"

8. "Ssssh, quiet everyone... the 60 Minutes viewing party is about to begin."

Best of Lyn
The first contestants in the new reality show, Grandparent Swap.

Best of Cybrludite
Meanwhile, back in God's waiting room...

Best of the paperboy
Shocked and amazed, the residents of the Golden Sunset retirement home watched image after image from "Caption This" emerge on the computer screen. Flo, who was the only one who could read the captions blurted out "Hell in a handbasket!" and stormed out.

Best of WALSTIB
The unsuspecting wives clearly did not expect the group-wedgie the men were about to pull on them.

Best of Rodney Dill
Fred and Fannies Fabulous Flatulent Follies musical ensemble practiced for years before perfecting the 1812 Overture

"G-- D--- grandkids keep saying "im-ho-tep... Im-ho-tep..." everytime they come to visit.

Best of sonicfrog
SCOTUS - 2020!

Best of Dusty
And the sad thing is, this is only their TENTH annual high school reunion!

V the K (Riffing on Dusty and making an ORA)
"Progeria: Nature's Cruelest Joke."

Best of The Man
Here is a sample of people who do NOT watch 24 on Monday nights.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Madge arrived home to discover an intervention stemming from her Metamucil addiction.

Kevin Bacon was tersely reminded that dancing in this town was strictly forbidden.

Interesting Lamaze class this year.

27 comments:

Lyn said...

Let's play "Match the Geezers."

Lyn said...

The first contestants in the new reality show, Grandparent Swap.

Lyn said...

Hurry up and take the dang picture, I've got to go!

Jonathan H said...

The cast of the new spin-off of Sex and the City: Sex and the Retirement Home.

Cybrludite said...

Meanwhile, back in God's waiting room...

nevergrewup said...

All of the crew and staff at the urology clinic are now qualified to give Prostate exams.

John said...

LOL! "The Wal-Mart Greeter"....so stupid it brought tears to my eyes. Thanks. ;-)

MP Martin said...

At Arnie's funeral the attendees all shared one thought. "Just nine more to go, and the Fighting Hellfish's secret hoard of WW II German art is all mine!"

MP Martin said...

For today's fun hour activity, we will watch Jasper's beard grow. Ready, set, GROW!

MP Martin said...

Shocked and amazed, the residents of the Golden Sunset retirement home watched image after image from "Caption This" emerge on the computer screen. Flo, who was the only one who could read the captions blurted out "Hell in a handbasket!" and stormed out.

Anonymous said...

"Just as soon as we find our little furry friends the 10 us are gonna get busy. So you grandkids can go smoke your pot or whatever, 'cause we're gonna be doin' the only "eating" around here tonight. Giggidy-Giggidy"

Anonymous said...

"At our age we can't really remember who's married to whom. We don't figure it makes any difference when the alternative involves hairy cats, bison or midgets."
-WALSTIB

Rodney Dill said...

Fred and Fannies Fabulous Flatulent Follies musical ensemble practiced for years before perfecting the 1812 Overture

Rodney Dill said...

"G-- D--- grandkids keep saying "im-ho-tep... Im-ho-tep..." everytime they come to visit.

sonicfrog said...

SCOTUS - 2020!

T. Harris said...

Hoping to expand his client base, Dr. Henry Goldfarb used this "before" picture in his latest advertisement for laser eye surgery.

Dusty said...

And the sad thing is, this is only their TENTH annual high school reunion!

V the K said...

(Riffing on Dusty and making an ORA) "Progeria: Nature's Cruelest Joke."

The Man said...

Here is a sample of people who do NOT watch 24 on Monday nights.

The Man said...

Real Sex 65 visits the MGBPA -
The Mormon Gay and Bi-Sexual Polygamist Association.

Cybrludite said...

In keeping with my theme for my other Weekend Americana caps, these guys are the Transylvanians from the Salt Lake City RHPS cast.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Madge arrived home to discover an intervention stemming from her Metamucil addiction.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Kevin Bacon was tersely reminded that dancing in this town was strictly forbidden.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Interesting Lamaze class this year.

Son Of The Godfather said...

With their ratings juggernaut American Idol still doing well in its 5th season, Fox holds auditions for a spinoff: American Gothic.

Anonymous said...

The unsuspecting wives clearly did not expect the group-wedgie the men were about to pull on them.
-WALSTIB

(btw, the Giggidy-Giggidy one back there was mine. Seeking my fame on Caption This - oh how the mighty have fallen)

Lyn said...

"Meanwhile, back in God's waiting room..."

Ha! That's one of the best. Good job, Ludite. And thanks for hosting these pics, VK. Fun work, er, diversion. lgp