1. "When you get old, your bowel movements look like this."
2. Grandma Parker also got bitten by a radioactive spider, but she just kind of oozed stuff from her wrist.
3. "Little Friskies tastes just as good comin' up," Bulimia and the elderly, America's hidden tragedy.
4. And she's still 20 years younger than the average age of a 60 Minutes viewer.
5. "Bad Grandma! Bad! Take that gross thing, outside!" "Now, now, she doesn't know any better. Bringing a dead mole into the house is just her way of saying she loves us."
6. "You okay, grandma? They way you were coughing, we thought you were gonna hack up a lung or something."
7. "Wow, Grandma. You really did save Hitler's brain."
8. "Thank you, grandma, for the graphic illustration of exactly what will be left of social security after the baby boomers retire."
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