Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Ways To Prove Your "Civilization" Sucks

1. Wrought with grief over the death of longtime companion Hamburglar, Ronald McDonald performs the traditional rite of Sati.

2. When the Muslims realized that their complete lack of a sense of humor and highly emotional over-reaction to some cartoons had many people mistaking them for militant feminists, their heads exploded.

3. Hey, I'll write an offensive Muslim cartoon if it means they'll burn that creepy Burger King guy.

4. "Hah ha! This will certainly teach the Danes a lesson they'll not soon... um... how exactly does this work again?"

5. ORA --- Colin Mochrie is the only guy who was ever really good at the Green Screen Game.

6. From the looks of that guy's rug, I'm guessing the Hair Club for Men is safe from Muslim wrath.

7. "Anti-Cartoon riots? Nah, we're just re-enacting Woodstock '99."

8. Sensing a market bonanza, McDonald's immediately replaced the Happy Meal with the Irrationally Outraged Meal in Muslim countries.

9. "The Pistons win the championship! The Pistons win the championship!"

10. "Aw, crap, Hillary, there go our Valentine's Day dinner plans."

Best of Dan Spomer
"YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT, INFIDEL?"

Best of David Simon
Andrew Sullivan could scarcely contain himself when he heard that Ronald McDonald was flaming, but his elation quickly turned to dejection.

Best of Rufus Leaking
Burning Man festival is replaced by the Burning Clown festival.

Best of T. Harris
Ronald McDonald would soon exact his revenge. Just minutes after this photo was taken, the fatally poisonous chemical fumes arising from Ronald's burning carcass would wiped out this entire horde of unsuspecting morons.

Best of Van Helsing
Wendy's new ad campaign is a little over the top.

Best of Submariner
The clown! The clown!
The clown is on fire!
We don't eat no Big Macs;
Let the mullah-baiter burn!

Goooooooooooood morning, Palestiiiiine! Today's broadcast is brought to you by Dr. Ahmadinajemidebadinanbad's sandal-ware products. Do you suffer from fallen arches like this fellow?

Best of The Man
True to traditional Islam law, The Hamburgler's hands were chopped off and the Fryguys were stoned for being gay.

Ba-dot-dot-da-dah! I'm torchin' it.

Best of Right Wing Animator
That's it Man, game over man, game over.. what the fuck are we going to do now!?

Best of Silhouette
Lt. McDonald saved an entire village during WWII by throwing himself on a grenade. McDonald survived, but was horribly scarred, requiring complete face makeup for the rest of his life.


Originally sourced from ROTO-REUTERS. Maybe. Whatever. I don't know. Hat tip to Dan for pointing it out to me. By the way, Dan, you might want to check out my comment in the top post at Moonbattery as it might be useful to your blog.

40 comments:

Cybrludite said...

Death to those who say we're violent! (Apologies again if this is another double-post...)

David Simon said...

"It did say 'suckling pig' on the wrapper, Abu. Maybe it'll taste better than it looks."

David Simon said...

"You got it wrong again, Nizar. I said a face cord of seasoned oak and cherry."

Submariner said...

Yes, we burn the "statue of Muhammed" that American slime Ronald McDonald erected...

David Simon said...

"No, YOU were supposed to bring the marshmellows."

Submariner said...

Just another Bombadam afternoon, hopped up on Mogen-David wine in Palestine...

Submariner said...

Dear Imam, Will Ronald McDonald's burnt finger count towards completing my "martyr bits" collection?

Submariner said...

Geena Davis accidently revealed the plot line for Commander in Chief's final episode...

Submariner said...

CAIR, via the ACLU, have filed suit for freedom of religion violations. Seems that Fox News is actually showing this idiocy and offending Muslim sensitivities...

Dan Spomer said...

Take my credit? Naw... I just shared the link. You did the rest. :)

"YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT, INFIDEL?"

David Simon said...

Andrew Sullivan could scarcely contain himself when he heard that Ronald McDonald was flaming, but his elation quickly turned to dejection.

Rufus Leaking said...

Burning Man festival is replaced by the Burning Clown festival.

Rodney Dill said...

"I'm throwin' on my Nazi Barbies next."

Rodney Dill said...

This photo is staged. Real Moslems would've decapitated Ronald first.

Rodney Dill said...

"That'll teach ya not to serve a McShwarma."

"Hey, anyone seen my Koran?"

Submariner said...

And that is what we do to infidels that serve us with their left hands...

T. Harris said...

After ill-advisedly introducing the pork laden "McRib" sandwich to the menu, mob violence could only be expected.

Submariner said...

Death to America! Death to Israel! Death to the arches of gold which try to serve us HAMburgers!

Submariner said...

Barney Frank was let down when this was the result of his "fiery, stiff red head" web search.

T. Harris said...

Ronald McDonald would soon exact his revenge. Just minutes after this photo was taken, the fatally poisonous chemical fumes arising from Ronald's burning carcass would wiped out this entire horde of unsuspecting morons.

Van Helsing said...

Wendy's new ad campaign is a little over the top.

T. Harris said...

Mahmoud: "Yousef! You shame your family by wielding a hockey stick. Have you not been watching the Olympics? The Infidels have their WOMEN playing hockey!"

Yousef: "Forgive me, Mahmoud, for never in my most horrible nightmares could I have imagined such an abomination! The filthy swine did not mention this on E-bay."

Submariner said...

The clown! The clown!
The clown is on fire!
We don't eat no Big Macs;
Let the mullah-baiter burn!

The Man said...

True to traditional Islam law, The Hamburgler's hands were chopped off and the Fryguys were stoned for being gay.

Submariner said...

Goooooooooooood morning, Palestiiiiine!
Today's broadcast is brought to you by Dr. Ahmadinajemidebadinanbad's sandal-ware products. Do you suffer from fallen arches like this fellow?

The Man said...

McDonalds: I'm torching it.

Jonathan H said...

"Cartoons? What cartoons? No, we are rioting because we are SICK of McDonalds putting lettuce on our burgers when we tell them to HOLD the lettuce!"

Submariner said...

Who'd a thunk it? Ronald McDonald, a Buddhist! - but what a great self-immolation exit, eh?

Submariner said...

I thought the Burger King was the one that flame broiled?

Submariner said...

Note to self:
"Black gold" to eliminate masturbation friction instead of hand cream? Bad idea...

Submariner said...

Charades? Yeah, I'm really good!

Ok, OK, I got this one - Uday Hussein... No, Qusay... No, definitely Uday.
What did I win?

David Simon said...

"With all due respect, Mr. Bush, you don't know when to call off a prank. We better tell them that you weren't serious about forcing them to service Hanan Ashrawi, or this could really get ugly."

Rodney said...

"SUPER SIZE THIS!!"

Anonymous said...

Kill Maim Burn Kill maim burn.. (Possessed Chaos Marines, Warhammer40k Dawn of War)

Pillage before you burn!

I guess they finally got copies of IT by Steven King..

That's it Man, game over man, game over.. what the fuck are we going to do now!?

Right Wing Animator said...

Dammit, that last one was me

Dan Spomer said...

Gotcha, V. Thanks for the info.

jbinnout said...

Global Warming....it's Ronalds fault.

sonicfrog said...

Now if there's a smile on my face
Don't let my glad expression
Give you the wrong impression
Don't let this smile I wear
Make you feel that I don't care
The tears of a clown
Tears of a clown
The tears of a clown
I'm going down de town
I'm going downtown
Tears of a clown

Silhouette said...

Widely known for his work with the McDonald's restaurants, few people know that Ronald McDonald was once Lt. McDonald of the US Army.

Shown here in a rare file photo, Lt. McDonald saved an entire village during WWII by throwing himself on a grenade. McDonald survived, but was horribly scarred, requiring complete face makeup for the rest of his life.

Submariner said...

Stentorian, baritone voice-over:

They riot, burn, rape, and pillage.
They drink V.O.
It's what Muslim's do.