Thursday, February 16, 2006

Tattooed Love Boy

1. Ang Lee was furious. The stunt double for the hot-beef-injection scene looked nothing like Heath Ledger.

2. "O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-h sweet mystery of life at last I've found you."

3. "Stangers in my ass...Exchanging fluids.....doo be doo be doo..."

4. ORA --- My brother damned well better be grateful for the lengths I go to to get him out of Fox River.

5. "Jeez, Andrew, your hands are so cold."

6. "Mr Mapplethorpe? I'm ready for my close up."

7. Henry Rollins gets a prostate exam.

8. "No, it's the left cheek that itches, you stupid peasant twit."

9. "Man, I liked it so much better when the Goa'uld symbiotes entered through your neck."

10. Warren was horrified to discover his massage therapist was Cindy Sheehan.

Best of David Simon
"Oh my G-d, the pain is unbearable. This is the last time I'm catching without lube."

Best of Passionate Conservative
Is that a tatoo of Mohammed? Now we must riot!

Best of jeff
"Man, flex-sigmoidoscopies suck... I hate getting old. All my tats are turning green too."

Best of Van Helsing
After his human cannonball act failed, he teamed up with Rocky the Flying Squirrel and became a human cannon. The hard part is when they use a ramrod to load Rocky.

Best of Submariner
Rumor has it that his privates say "SWAN" but when fully aroused, it reads "SASKATCHEWAN"
Just another Tequila sunrise after a night at the Blue Oyster...

Andy just loved the Barney Frank Klub:
B - A - R Aaaarrggh, that hurts!
N - E - Y Why? Cuz we don't use lube!
F - R - A - N - K
Barney Frank Want some, Hank?
Barney Frank A real meat plank!
Forever you can hold my package tight! Tight, Tight!

Best of Jonathan Leffingwell
"Yeah, man! I've had my sh#t puuuuuuuuuuuuuuushed in! Big time!"

Best of WALSTIB
Uh Warren, any deeper and I swear it's coming out my nose!


Hat Tip: Tom Wopat.

22 comments:

David Simon said...

"What restraining order? I don't even know Pamela Anderson!"

T. Harris said...

The tattoo artist was busy finishing off his masterpiece on the subject's backside, entitled "The Gaper."

David Simon said...

"If only I hadn't been circumsized, I would've beaten Ewan out for that Pillowbook role."

David Simon said...

"Oh my G-d, the pain is unbearable. This is the last time I'm catching without lube."

V the K said...

David Simon --- A local radio station is running a commercial for the Orioles that begins, "Pitchers and Catchers are reporting for Spring Training." I snicker every time I hear it.

But really, only 4 out of 10 captions are based on implied sodomy. Considering the material, that's pretty good.

David Simon said...

V - But really, only 4 out of 10 captions are based on implied sodomy.

Your "batting average" (groan) is certainly better than mine.

Regarding that ad, something tells me that the ad men who wrote the copy snicker every time they hear it too.

Passionate Conservative said...

Moo-oon RiverrrrrrRRRR! Hey, ya got the whole fist in there, Doc?

Passionate Conservative said...

Is that a tatoo of Mohammed? Now we must riot!

jeff said...

"Man, flex-sigmoidoscopies suck... I hate getting old. All my tats are turning green too."

Six Degrees of Blondness said...

"This is so real! Just like 'Brokeback Mountain'! They didn't use any lube, either!"

V, you've grossed me out for the last time, man.

Oh, who the hellami kidding.

Can't...Resist...Coming...Back... To...This...Site!
Arrghh!

Besides, I'm a baaad influence on myself, for that matter! :)

catbat said...

"i was skeptical, warren, but you were right. the dolphin on the small of your back really pulls the whole scene together. as soon as i finish the rose on your ankle you're set!"

Van Helsing said...

After his human cannonball act failed, he teamed up with Rocky the Flying Squirrel and became a human cannon. The hard part is when they use a ramrod to load Rocky.

The Man said...

English citizens took to the streets, looting banks and KFCs after the tattoo of Queen Elizabeth was made public.

Submariner said...

Markos would later post closeups of the "Virgin Mary" on eBay causing severe unrest in Catholic quarters and leading to 3 picket signs of protest.

Submariner said...

Rumor has it that his privates say "SWAN" but when fully aroused, it reads "SASKATCHEWAN"
Only his merkin dresser knows for sure...

Rufus Leaking said...

What!? They don't wash off????

David Simon said...

"Hey Andrew, I just realized that I'm going to have one more stinky fist than you when this is over."

Anonymous said...

Cher complimented him on his interesting birthmarks.

Jonathan said...

ORA: "Yeah, man! I've had my sh#t puuuuuuuuuuuuuuushed in! Big time!"

Submariner said...

Just another Tequila sunrise after a night at the Blue Oyster...

Submariner said...

Andy just loved the Barney Frank Klub:
B - A - R Aaaarrggh, that hurts!
N - E - Y Why? Cuz we don't use lube!
F - R - A - N - K
Barney Frank Want some, Hank?
Barney Frank A real meat plank!
Forever you can hold my package tight! Tight, Tight!

Anonymous said...

Uh Warren, any deeper and I swear it's coming out my nose!
-WALSTIB