1. Trooper Dan never went anywhere without his trusty Afghan hound.
2. ORA --- "What the hell is that guy stuffing into that wood chipper?"
3. Trooper Dan pulls over every car he sees with a Green Party, Kucinich-04, or DailyKos bumper sticker. Trooper Dan leads his unit in annual marijuana busts.
4. "Heh-Heh-Heh. Heh-Heh-Heh. That thing on his hood says 'pots.' Heh-Heh-Heh."
5. "Dispatch, I got an African-American male doing 120 on I-96, muttering something about a 'ditch witch' and 'never be clean again.' Recommend Psych unit stand by."
6. "That Al Gore kid sure is a lippy son-of-a-bitch. I sure hope he enjoys sharing a cell with Luis the Satan-Worshipping Cannibal Rapist."
7. It always freaked out drunk drivers when Trooper Dan moonwalked over to their vehicle.
8. You could use a lot of words to describe Trooper Dan, but "Princessy" is not one of them.
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