1. Giant Airborne Leeches invade fashion show. Film at 11.
2. Al Qaeda's use of dalmatians for suicide bombers led to a mild rebuke from PETA.
3. Side effects of excessive masturbation include hairy palms and spotted vision.
4. Andrew Sullivan's cataracts prevent him from receiving the full effect of 'The Boyfriend's' sexy lingerie.
5. After years of laboring in obscurity, Cruella De Vil is finally embraced by the fashion crowd.
6. Fort Worth's play to become a new center of high fashion was ruined when the backwash from Tommy Hilfiger's helicopter flung cow-chips all over the place.
7. In Tennessee gay bars, it's traditional to spit tobacco at bad drag queens.
9. Through the rain of black confetti, Kobe entirely failed to notice that Dennis Rodman was open.
10. Publicity Still From Zoolander 2: Walk on the Wild Side.
Best of Submariner
See what happens when you fight the Estee Lauder counter gals when they want to give you a free makeover?
Other than radical Muslim males, the rage in Paris this year is to combine gold lamé, black velvet and a personal wasp swarm.
Jeannette waltzed in amidst a swarm of flies, yet resplendent in her pilfered gold, mahogany leg, and two eye-patches. Henri realized she was indeed, the smelliest pirate hooker of them all!
Best of Cybrludite
Daryl Hannah hits the sci-fi convention circuit to cash in on a re-release of "Bladerunner".
It's just a jump to the left....
Best of T. Harris
Cindy was a true professional. Not even an infestation of locusts could derail her steely determination to model ridiculous clothes, wear stupid-ass hair-dos, and have fake sunglasses painted on her face.
Inspired by The Paperboy
Terrence McNally's newest play is based on Chris Ofili's portrait of an Elephant-dung-splattered Virgin Mary. McNally insists he didn't intend to offend Christians.
Hat Tip: Sorrell Booke