1. "Someday, I will escape this cruel childhood, and become the most princessy male figure skater the world has ever seen!"
2. "Please, no more erotic catfights. I'll be good! I'll be good!"
3. March 1998: Inspired by her president, Madeleine Albright closes in on a young intern and prepares to make her move.
4. "Cinderella? Little Red Riding Hood? Bush blew up the levees to kill the black people in New Orleans? Which fairy-tale are we acting out?"
5. "Why do you and Aunt Butch always get to go to the Pride Ball while I'm stuck here cleaning?"
6. Seeing that Aunt Butch had "that look" in her eye, Cousin Jenny closes her eyes and looks for her happy place.
7. "(SOB!) Ellen DeGeneres said I was too femme!"
8. Pearl Forrester and Fred Savage star in Jean Genet's The Maids.
9. (SOB) "None of my captions ever make the Best of List."
10. "Mirror, Mirror, on the wall. Who's the butchest dyke of all?"
Best of Rodney Dill
"Oh please give it to me mother I've always wanted the Harry Potter broomstick with real vibrating action."
Best of Divine miss M
Virgins, put on your "no entry" signs! We are about to confront... guys!
Best of the paperboy
"I want you to go back, Carmen, back, back to before the lifetime where you were an old woman and Victoria was a cat. What do you see?"
Best of Six Degrees of Blondness
"I've always wanted to portray Linda Blair in 'Born Innocent'!"
Best of nevergrewup
"It was just one tiny little fart. I'm sorry" said the maid. "Just for that you can spend the rest of the night under my dress and I ate bratwurst and sauerkraut"
Best of Cybrludite
The Salt Lake City cast of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" (Columbia & Magenta, repectively)
Lavina Whately's mother explanes what fate has in store for her...
Best of Dusty
Peggy Noonan pleads with the airport security guard to let her through.
Best of The Man
You can't lick carpet with a broom!
Best of Son Of The Godfather
Who knew that Tanya Harding and Rosie O'Donnell dated in college?
Best of Lyn
Repugnant, Repugnant, let down your hair.
This and pretty much anything labeled Americana comes from here. Usual disclaimer applies.