Thursday, February 16, 2006

Real Men Don't Describe Themselves As 'Princessy'

1. Gee, nobody ever had trouble figuring out how to quit me.

2. ORA -- Before using the Stargate to conquer the Ancient Egyptians, Ra was a world-champion figure skater.

3. Worst. Village People. Audition. Ever.

5. For good luck, Johnny plunges his right hand into a villager and pulls out his still beating heart before every match.

6. "Your crowbar is no match for my gender-bending powers, Tonya Harding."

7. "Hm, something tells me I wasn't the first guy to fist Andrew Sullivan this morning."

8. "And instead of a hot blond chick, Jeannie will become a gender-bending Jeannie/Genie..." the latest 60's sitcom remake was doomed from the get-go.

9. "You have a problem with portraying Jesus as a princessy, androgynous paedophile in Terrence McNally's Corpus Christi on Ice? Are you some kind of right wing religious wingnut or something?"

10. Oh, damn, I already used "sissy" as a thread title.

Best of Divine miss M
Well what d'ya know, the kid we used to beat up for his lunch money is now in the Olympics.

Best of Silhouette
Actually, it's difficult to beat the real caption. "American Johnny Weir says people 'should stay scared' about what comes out of his mouth."

Oddly enough, the French judge loved him, but his outfit gave Mr. Blackwell the dry heaves.

Best of The Man
I hate the Winter Olympics because it is full of strange honkeys" - Bryant Gumbel

Best of David Simon
"I'm such a faggot, even I want to kick my ass."

"For this next move, imagine your parting Brian Joubert's cheeks and gazing dreamily."

"Hey Michael, why is there kid poop on this glove you loaned me?"

"American Johnny Weir says people 'should stay scared' about what comes out of his mouth." And what goes into it.

"See? Neet really does keep you smoother longer with no razor stubble."

"This feels funny. My hands are in the air and my feet are on the ground."

Best of Rodney Dill
Dick Cheney: "Just look at my lesbian daughter, Wouldn't that make you want to shoot someone."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
I think we all know what Brian Boitano would do.

Explain your way out of this photo, Robert Downey Jr!

Those Abu Ghraib photos just keep on comin'.

Best of Submariner
Last known photo of Johnny Weir as his signature high-speed "Corkscrew Twirl" augered him in to Lake Michigan during his outdoor, Great Lakes exhibition in Chicago.

Best of Dusty
The new French Olympic uniforms were such a hit in San Fransico!

Best of sonicfrog
What, did Bjork have a yard sale???

I put on a thick pair of asbestos gloves and lifted this from MSNBC on a tip from David Simon.

33 comments:

divine miss M said...

Sequins with leather and studs? Are you MAD?

divine miss M said...

Well what d'ya know, the kid we used to beat up for his lunch money is now in the Olympics.

Silhouette said...

Actually, it's difficult to beat the real caption.

"American Johnny Weir says people 'should stay scared' about what comes out of his mouth."

The Man said...

I hate the Winter Olympics because it is full of strange honkeys" - Brant Gumbel

The Man said...

Does this glove make me look strange?

Anonymous said...

Mmmmm...fisting Andrew Sullivan...

David Simon said...

"I'm such a faggot, even I want to kick my ass."

David Simon said...

Johnny's coreographer: "For this next move, imagine your parting Brian Joubert's cheeks and gazing dreamily."

David Simon said...

"Hey Michael, why is there kid poop on this glove you loaned me?"

David Simon said...

Johnny Weir was on the verge of tears after he left the recruiter's office. "But I didn't tell! Why won't they let me enlist?"

David Simon said...

As a dejected Johnny left the recruiter's office, the marine picked up the hotline to the White House.

"I know you can't censor Jarhead completely, but can you at least pressure the director to cut the shower scene?"

David Simon said...

"American Johnny Weir says people 'should stay scared' about what comes out of his mouth."

And what goes into it.

T. Harris said...

Johnny knew in his heart of hearts that playing with dolls as a youngster was the right thing to do.

jeff said...

Johnny Weir: White trash meets Richard Simmons.

You've got to admire his outspokeness though - he is riot at press conferences.

David Simon said...

Funny how he describes himself as princessy when he's such a queen.

David Simon said...

"See? Neet really does keep you smoother longer with no razor stubble."

David Simon said...

"Hmm. This feels funny. My hands are in the air and my feet are on the ground."

David Simon said...

A fan of unknown gender gives the Thunder From Down Under a standing ovation.

divine miss M said...

Oddly enough, the French judge loved him, but his outfit gave Mr. Blackwell the dry heaves.

Rodney Dill said...

(from the classifieds)
SWAN (Single White Androygenous Ninny) In touch with my feminine side. Can't stop touching it.

Rodney Dill said...

Dick Cheney: "Just look at my lesbian daughter, Wouldn't that make you want to shoot someone."

Son Of The Godfather said...

Damn, V... I've been gone a week, but man, you've changed!

Son Of The Godfather said...

I think we all know what Brian Boitano would do.

Son Of The Godfather said...

After posting this on a sacred "Hot-Chicks" Thursday, V the K swears off the booze for good.

Son Of The Godfather said...

Explain your way out of this photo, Robert Downey Jr!

Son Of The Godfather said...

Those Abu Ghraib photos just keep on comin'.

Cybrludite said...

VtK continues his tradition of posting pictures of chicks on Thursdays. Huh? What's that? Naw... yer shitting me... if that's a guy, where's his adam's apple?

Submariner said...

They all had their dreams:
Michael Jackson wanted to grow to be Diana Ross, and Johnny Weir apparently wanted to grow up to be Peggy Fleming.

Submariner said...

Last known photo of Johnny Weir as his signature high-speed "Corkscrew Twirl" augered him in to Lake Michigan during his outdoor, Great Lakes exhibition in Chicago.

Dusty said...

The new French Olympic uniforms were such a hit in San Fransico!

Anonymous said...

Oh Sh*t! The ludes must be wearing off...where the hell am I wearing and where the hell am I??!!
-WALSTIB

Anonymous said...

um...PIMF

serves me right for talking on the phone, helping my kids AND captioning at the same time :-(

But you get my drift. Now where were those ludes anyway...?

sonicfrog said...

What, did Bjork have a yard sale???