1. Oh, Ennui! Will you ever lose your grasp of me?
2. Helena's strict parents never let her join in with the other girl's games of Lingerie Touch Football.
3. Oh, look, that creepy Sullivan guy is fisting his beagle again.
4. Hail the size of golf balls. I bet Chris Klein wishes I'd unlock the door and let him back in the house *now*.
5. Look at that Kos guy tear up the weeds in his garden and toss them into the fire. I wonder what sultry underwear model tipped off the DEA this time.
6. Oh, no. Looks like the wind caught Kate Moss again. There she goes.
7. Well, the motorcade is pulling into Dealey Plaza. I guess I better get out the sniper rifle.
8. Ugly naked man is doing jumping jacks... why does that arouse me?
9. If it weren't so entertaining, I'd try to help that poor mailman the pit bull is mauling.
10. This bullet-proof glass is great. Drive-bys don't even phaze me anymore.
Best of The Man .
Here come the Muslim mobs again. I guess shaving the image of Muhammad into my pubic hair was not the best way to express free speech.
Best of David Simon .
Maybe if I undo my top and look pouty and insouciant, no one will notice that I just queefed.
Yeah Andrew, I'm the one who stole your pride week costume. What are you gonna do about it, wussy boy?
Best of Rodney Dill .
"Oh you meant I should hang out IN bars if I want to find a man."
Best of Submariner .
As soon as I figure out how to get out of the Chappaqua "guest room," I'm going public. Moving towards the center my behind...
Andrew Sullivan woke up from his dream realizing he neither pretty nor witty, just gay.
Best of Chevy Rose .
"Oh, to be less beautiful and able to type cute quips on blogs...sigh"
Best of Son Of The Godfather .
"Mom, I don't care if she IS a mannequin, I LOVE HER!"
I could learn to love a girl who's only flaw is the 37 letter word-verification that keeps popping up to enter a clever caption. (What the hell IS a "aplduqqkicnjsyghuskiroskhfutesjajjmnc" anyway?)
Looks like I've found my Czech-mate!
"SOTG Sweety? I was thinking we could stay in all day, make love, watch sci-fi movies and order a pizza for dinner..." The Stepford-Fembot 2.0 software had been perfected.
Best of Van Helsing .
"Heh heh heh. The rollerskate on the stairs works every time."
Best of Chip .
Do the membranes vibrate in ten-dimensional space, or how should I think of the multiverse?
I found this photo on Moonbattery.