Tuesday, February 21, 2006

The Pinkest Pinko

1. Actually, the sweatshirt has nothing to with the Soviet Union. It stands for 'Candy-Colored Communist Pansy.'

2. "Actually, the Human Torch stole the 'Flame On' battle cry from me."

3. Before each match, Johhny Weir channels the spirit of Night Court's Tselma Diamond.

4. In a parallel universe, Tonya Harding is denounced for counter-revolutionary activities, and sent to the Gulag Archipelago.

5. "In Old Soviet Union, Flaming Homosexual Figure Skater watches you." - Yakov Smirnoff

6. The alien was surprised. "Usually, Earth specimens are alarmed to see the size of the anal probe."

7. To no one's surprise, Johnny Weir orders a Zima.

8. "That intro should be 'America's most famous defector not defect." "No, it's right the way it is."

9. "Oh, no. Xena is coming to kick my ass for defaming the title 'Princess.'"

10. "Give it up, Johnny. The Russian hockey team just isn't interested."

Best of David Simon
"I'm going to need more kleenex than that Maria. Brian Joubert is soaping himself in the shower as we speak."

"I hate to break it to you Maria, but when that guy whispered 'I'd like to smack that pussy' to you, he wasn't asking you to have sex with him."

"No more excuses, tamale. Finish altering my dress or else. Andale!"

Best of Submariner
Doesn't it stand for "Cock Chasing Chia Pet?"

I was thinking about becoming an Episcopal Bishop after the Olympics, but I don't think I drink enough...

Ang Lee announced he is remaking "Blade Runner" this summer and has already cast newcomer Johnny Weir in the role of "Pris."

Best of Mr. Right
Johnny's coach addresses the media: "Oh, the jacket? I'm sorry about that, but it was the only thing I could get him to put on over the I "heart" Osama t-shirt!"

Florida Cracker clued me into a great Johnny Weir pic, but in trying to run down a large version, I came across this beaut, courtesy of AssPress and MSNBC.

17 comments:

The Man said...

Dear Johnny Weir,

I am your number 1 fan. You are so cool. Good Luck in Italy.

-Andrew Sullivan

David Simon said...

"I'm going to need more kleenex than that Maria. Brian Joubert is soaping himself in the shower as we speak."

David Simon said...

"Soviet Union, what's that? I make fashion statements, darling, not political ones."

divine miss M said...

When a straight man puts on a dress and goes on a sexual kick he is a transvestite. When a man is a woman trapped in a man's body and has a little operation he is a transsexual. When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen. And when a tired little primadonna skater boy puts on an old Soviet warm-up jacket, he is simply a boy in a Soviet warm-up jacket.

Submariner said...

Andrew Sullivan couldn't decide if he was dissappointed or not for the result's of his web search for "Gay Blade."

Submariner said...

Doesn't it stand for "Cock Chasing Chia Pet?"

T. Harris said...

Lady in blue jacket: (Sigh) Yep, it's true. The little bastard's ass IS tighter than mine. DAMN him!.

mormonbradybunchdad said...

I am so "on fire"!!!!

Submariner said...

Now that I've unsheathed my blades, let me really impress you...

(After his routine) Or not...

Submariner said...

I was thinking about becoming an Episcopal Bishop after the Olympics, but I don't think I drink enough...


Too funny! My verification word was "ordan"

David Simon said...

"I hate to break it to you Maria, but when that guy whispered 'I'd like to smack that pussy' to you, he wasn't asking you to have sex with him."

Submariner said...

Ang Lee announced he is remaking "Blade Runner" this summer and has already cast newcomer Johnny Weir in the role of "Pris."

David Simon said...

"No more excuses, tamale. Finish altering my dress or else. Andole!"

Mr. Right said...

COACH: "Please, tell me darling, did you check to make certain..."

JOHNNY WEIR[D]: "Yes, yes, yes... the hammer and sickle on my lacy pink satin panties is in the front. What DO you take me for???"

Mr. Right said...

"I wouldn't have worn it, but my other jacket was at the dry cleaners..."

Mr. Right said...

Johnny's coach addresses the media: "Oh, the jacket? I'm sorry about that, but it was the only thing I could get him to put on over the I "heart" Osama t-shirt!"

Alex Stockwell said...

And now, an excuse for a bunch of lame communist jokes. What is this, 1984?