1. Actually, the sweatshirt has nothing to with the Soviet Union. It stands for 'Candy-Colored Communist Pansy.'
2. "Actually, the Human Torch stole the 'Flame On' battle cry from me."
3. Before each match, Johhny Weir channels the spirit of Night Court's Tselma Diamond.
4. In a parallel universe, Tonya Harding is denounced for counter-revolutionary activities, and sent to the Gulag Archipelago.
5. "In Old Soviet Union, Flaming Homosexual Figure Skater watches you." - Yakov Smirnoff
6. The alien was surprised. "Usually, Earth specimens are alarmed to see the size of the anal probe."
7. To no one's surprise, Johnny Weir orders a Zima.
8. "That intro should be 'America's most famous defector not defect." "No, it's right the way it is."
9. "Oh, no. Xena is coming to kick my ass for defaming the title 'Princess.'"
10. "Give it up, Johnny. The Russian hockey team just isn't interested."
Best of David Simon
"I'm going to need more kleenex than that Maria. Brian Joubert is soaping himself in the shower as we speak."
"I hate to break it to you Maria, but when that guy whispered 'I'd like to smack that pussy' to you, he wasn't asking you to have sex with him."
"No more excuses, tamale. Finish altering my dress or else. Andale!"
Best of Submariner
Doesn't it stand for "Cock Chasing Chia Pet?"
I was thinking about becoming an Episcopal Bishop after the Olympics, but I don't think I drink enough...
Ang Lee announced he is remaking "Blade Runner" this summer and has already cast newcomer Johnny Weir in the role of "Pris."
Best of Mr. Right
Johnny's coach addresses the media: "Oh, the jacket? I'm sorry about that, but it was the only thing I could get him to put on over the I "heart" Osama t-shirt!"
Florida Cracker clued me into a great Johnny Weir pic, but in trying to run down a large version, I came across this beaut, courtesy of AssPress and MSNBC.